Thank you for your response. Speaking of Ordeals, We were listening to the lecture on Transmutation this morning. We first want to say that it is realllllllllllllly good and sheds a lot of light and understanding on the things we must to change inside ourselves. At the same time, when you mention that there are higher beings, who have not totally annihilated the ego, we feel as tho the task is next to impossible! It seems like an unreachable goal, but on the other hand, it is inspirational to believe that it is possible. If not in this lifetime, perhaps in another?
The lecture helped me to re-focus my energies on some key areas that I had forgotten about. In particular the many ordeals that we are facing at this time in respect to Will Power, Self Control, Gluttony, and Laziness. I know that I went through a faze, where I would watch Korean Dramas for hours....
I admit it... at times, I knew I should be doing something that would enhance my being, but I didn't. I laid on couch half the night.... I also realized that I am an emotional eater.... If something was bothering me, or made me upset or depressed, I'd pick up a pint of ice cream on my home..
No need to mention what stuffing my face resulted in... then out of guilt, I'd get up early the next day and run to the gym instead of taking time to pray/meditate/recite Runes... There are some things I clearly need to meditate on, so I have made a counscious decision to take control of myself.. to get a grip! "Become a Warrior Princess"!
We asked ourselves: Where has your Willpower gone? Why aren't you remembering your dreams, What are you going to do to get off of this vicious cycle? Honestly, my weight goes up/down like a roller coaster, because I have no self control.
I know that I am off-balance and I am questioning a lot of things at this present moment.. this year without fail, has been ONE ORDEAL after the Other.. (i'm not shouting here) Seriously.. Things have happened to me that have rattled my cage big time!
There are a lot of things I do not know, but I believe that strengthing my Inner Being through Prayer, Meditation and fasting will help me gain ground...
You were right when you said " We expect things to happen/go right like magic and we have not done the work.. (paraphrasing) I am guilty for sure... I even utter simular words out of my mouth because I don't want to suffer in any way. I want things to come easy for me.. We are grateful for all that we have been blessed with, but we have a lot of work to do. Even if we don't know where we are going.. which road we are traveling, (at this time), at least we have a road map and it is up to us to follow the guidance. We can only do this for ourselves..
Shukran Jazilyn, = Thank you very much for the lectures and the knowledge We are truely grateful.