Student: ...I go back and repeat, master, perhaps, if possible, with an example from your own life, from some time, on some occasion, the disintegration of a defect mainly under your process of comprehension. Because it is comprehension that has been the most problematic for us. I am giving, therefore, the microphone to the V.M. Samael, so that he can give us an answer on what is called “the absolute comprehension of the ego”; since, we do not understand when it is said: “to grasp the deep significance of a defect”, because that is where we are “stuck” venerable master, so, please explain...
Samael Aun Weor: Well, we have heard the word of our Dominican brother. And frankly, he has surprised me tremendously by the question; he has surprised me by the very fact that I have already written three books on the same topic. The first of these is The Mystery of the Golden Flower, the second, with an exact didactic on the dissolution of the ego, Treatise of Revolutionary Psychology; and the third, the book that we just printed, The Great Rebellion. So, when I heard this question, I couldn't help but be surprised, lo! Or is it that perhaps the brothers and sisters of the Dominican Republic did not know about these three books? Do you know them?
Student: Venerable master, we know and have studied those books. Even, I know that many of us are putting them into practice, but there are questions, some "little threads", some points that we cannot clearly grasp... That is the big problem. Because, for example, I know (speaking, I say, on behalf of everyone) that we have worked on certain defects, we grasp them, we try to study them, we try to grasp the deep significance of them, and then, those of us who are married, we work on them with the arcanum AZF. But there is still a certain restlessness within us, let's say, a certain insecurity as to whether we are working well or badly on those defects that we are already studying. Therefore, we want you to illustrate to us with a specific example, no matter what it is, about the disintegration of any defect...
Samael Aun Weor: Sure, and right now I'm going to finish illustrating for you … Today, I quoted part of a lived experience, but now I want to [answer your question by narrating it] in full. Many years ago (in truth, I am going to repeat the narrative and expand on what I already narrated in the meeting we had here a while ago) I was failing all the tests in relation to chastity.
It so happens that in the physical world, I had achieved complete control of the senses and the mind, in such an educated manner, that I never saw, for example, a pornographic magazine, never looked at a pornographic picture; I learned to look at the opposite sex from the waist up, never stopping to look at the shape of the calves or things of the sort that males love to look at so closely and to be more frank, so perseveringly (rather perversely)...
So, my senses were absolutely educated: well, if you look at the way I handle my sight, you will realize that it is educated. Naturally, under these conditions, chastity was absolute as far as the physical world is concerned...
I also educated the word in an extraordinary manner, I did not let any lewd or double-meaning words flow into any conversation, etc. And so, everything was correct. But in the superior worlds of cosmic consciousness the matter was very grave, very serious.
I was subjected to rigorous tests of chastity, and I was failing despite all my systems of psychological control, despite all my psychological judos, despite all my techniques.
It was enough for the masters to put a broom dressed in a skirt near me so that I would immediately “court it”. She could be a wretched, horrible old woman, like that, it didn't matter; as long as that broom had skirts, that was the important thing for me...
Things were serious... I felt very sad... I appealed to the system of Krishnamurti, of "comprehensive understanding and discernment." The meditation system was profound: I tried to discern the process of lust, the process of desire. I wanted to comprehend in order to eliminate, but everything was useless: after a day of terrible work on myself, I failed the tests of chastity again. For this reason, I suffered dreadfully.
I don't deny that I even rigorously disciplined myself: I even reached the point of whipping myself. Yes: I grab a whip and hit myself, punishing the beast, but that wretched beast was stronger than the whip and not even the whip was worth enough. So, I had no choice but to suffer...
Well, one of those many days, I was lying on the floor, in supine position, with my head towards the north, immersed in deep meditation, with the intention of being able to discern and understand the process of lust at all levels of the mind (a completely krishnamurtian system; mixed with that terrible system also of a monastery, of reaching the point of whipping myself)...
I became skinny and horrible, I had no sexual relationship of any kind, therefore, the abstention was absolute. Under such conditions it was as if I had been victorious in all the tests of chastity; but everything was useless...
Lying down (I repeat) as I was, in dorsal decubitus, with my head towards the north, in deep meditation something unusual happened to me (it was terrible). The concentration became very deep, and then I left the physical body. When out of this dense form, I saw myself in a fancy apartment... Not in a temple, precisely, nor in some monastery with old skinny and ascetic clerics; none of that, but in a fancy apartment, doting on a lady, ardently embracing her, and fifty thousand things of the sort...
Everything happened in seconds. When I returned to the physical body, I felt totally disappointed. And may Mr. Krishnamurti excuse me, let him have the goodness of excusing me, because he is a master. I am not against any master, but frankly I felt disappointed with his system: it did not work for me...
I was left in a state of confusion, perhaps in the state that you are in right now, in relation to the dissolution of the ego. That's how I stayed: neither forward nor backward. Total zero.
What to do? The thing was serious: there was nothing to do; I was simply disappointed; all the systems had failed me.
Fortunately, I was assisted: arriving at a temple, I found a guardian of the sphinx. There he was, at the door (I was very happy because I know him, he is an old friend of mine). He while looking at me, said, "Among a group of brothers who worked in the ninth sphere and who after having worked in the ninth sphere appeared in this temple, you are the most advanced; but now you are stagnant..."
Sure, such words filled me with dread. Me, struggling to progress, and the guardian comes up with these…? Bless my soul Holy Mary, mother of God, and all of this because of those “wretched women"! Then I replied, "Well, but please tell me, for what reason am I stagnant now?"
The guardian answered, "Because of your lack of love."
My surprise reached its peak. Well, I thought that I was loving humanity, and so I told him, "I have written books, I work for humanity. How is it that I lack love? Is it not for love that I am working?"
"You have forgotten your mother; you are an ungrateful son, and the ungrateful son does not progress in these studies!..."
This was even worse: me, an "ungrateful son"? Me, who loved my wretched little mother so much, and now I'm ungrateful; this is the breaking point of all of this. What have I forgotten about her? No, I haven't forgotten; what happened was that she disincarnated! And how do I now find her in the physical world?... All those things came to mind. However, I entered the temple, and the guardian did not block my way. Once inside the temple, he continued, "I am telling you this for your own good. Comprehend: you must look for your mother..."
"Well," I told him, “But if she died, where am I going to look for her? Where is my mother?"
"You haven't realized what I'm telling you," continued the guardian, "Don't you want to comprehend? How is it that you ask me where is your mother? Don't you know where your mother is? Is it possible that a son does not know where his mother is?"
"Well, frankly no, I don't know..."
“I'm telling you this for your own good,” he answered.
"Well, I will try to comprehend what you want to tell me..."
I said goodbye to the guardian. A few days passed and I couldn't understand this. How is it that I look for my mom? But if she died, and where am I going to look for her? Well, I had fifty thousand conjectures in my poor brain, until finally one day, one of those many, a little light came on here (in my head) and then I understood... “Ah!" I said, "The guardian of the temple refers to my Divine Mother Kundalini, to the igneous serpent of our magical powers! I already know; I'm going to focus on her!"
I laid down again in supine position, with my head towards the north and my body relaxed, in deep interior meditation, but praying to my Divine Mother Kundalini. I prayed, but from time to time the concern arose: what if I turn up in another apartment! Oh my GOD!...
That's how I was, with the concern, and the concentration was more and more tremendous. Suddenly, she, Devi Kundalini-shakti, took me out of my physical body and took me to Europe, to Paris...
Once in that city, she led me before a great palace of karma. The audience hall was packed with people; some policemen accompanied me (lords of the law). I said: "Woe, woe, woe, what did I get myself into for being in these things!"...
And that police officer walked with me through the center of the room, to the table where the judges were. One of them (the one in the center of the table) opened a large book and read me some deviltries that I had done in my times as a fallen bodhisattva, back there, in the Middle Ages, in the times when the inquisition of the Catholic Church burned people alive at the stake. I no longer remembered such naughty, deviltries of Don Juan Tenorio and his henchmen!... Well, that man read the book; he read karma (certain bad actions, "romantic" by the way, yes). Then he sentenced me to death penalty!
“Oh, things are worse,” I said; Now it was no use to me to have worked for the little brothers and sisters there, in the physical world! Lo and behold, to where I have to come because of these deviltries!” ...I waited, to see what else would happen...
The judge called an executioner of the law (of those cosmic executioners I know there were two in the ancient Egypt of the pharaohs). He called one and told him, gave him the order to execute me immediately (me, a wretched fool, standing there before such terrible judges, what could I do?).
The executioner drew the flaming sword (the cosmic executioner, because there are cosmic executioners) and advanced towards me with his unsheathed sword...
Well, that was a moment when, frankly, I felt totally let down. In a matter of thousandths of seconds, I thought of so many things. I said to myself: “how I have suffered so much in life, fighting for humanity, fighting for myself, writing books, lecturing, and now, is this the outcome? How painful!" I said. "Woe, woe, woe, what have I to come to! It was of no use to me then to have fought so much for humanity!”...
I felt completely disheartened, but that executioner advanced slowly and with his unsheathed sword (he was a corpulent, strong man). When he was about to pierce me with the sword, I suddenly felt something moving inside of me. I thought “What will it be?" And at that moment I saw that a monstrous creature came out of me through the 33 doors of the spine.
I observed it in detail: it was an ego, the ego of lust, a psychic aggregate that I myself had created through a romantic and sexual error, back in the Middle Ages, and now I was face-to-face with my own creation.
That monster took the form of a beast, of a horse; but something unusual occured or happened: the executioner, instead of continuing to point his sword at me, now directed it towards that horse, towards that beast. Then I saw with astonishment how that beast, with its head, launched itself into the "Tartarus," into the infernal worlds. The guardian had passed it to the realm of Pluto so that it will disintegrate there.
Of course, I was freed from such an infernal psychic aggregate, and when I was subjected to new tests in matters of chastity, I came out victorious and I continued to come out victorious. I never failed again.
Since then, I achieved complete chastity…
Well, since the work with the Divine Mother Kundalini gave me a formidable result, I said: "This is the system to disintegrate the egos," and then I continued working (with the Divine Mother Kundalini) on different egos, that is, on different psychic aggregates, and I was able to verify for myself, through the sense of psychological self-observation, how she worked and how she was disintegrating, so extraordinarily, the different inhuman elements that we carry within.
So, the way to achieve the disintegration of the ego is achieved with the Divine Mother Kundalini-shakti.
Later, in time, I came to the conclusion that within us there is a psychological moon with two faces: the visible one and the hidden one. Just as there is a moon with two faces in the firmament, there is also a moon within ourselves, in the psychological sense.
The visible face of the psychological moon is related to the psychic aggregates or defects that stand out at first sight. But there are psychological defects that do not come to the surface and that one ignores, and that are (we would say) placed or located in the hidden part of the psychological moon.
Working with the Divine Mother Kundalini, without sexual contact, I was able to disintegrate the defects of the visible face of the psychological moon.
Later, I had to come face to face with the initiation of Judas (the passion of the Lord). Upon reaching those heights, I discovered that there are psychological defects, psychic aggregates so old and so impossible to disintegrate, that I needed to appeal to the ninth sphere, to go down to the flaming forge of Vulcan. So, I did it; I went down to the ninth sphere to work, and I managed by means of transcendent sexual electricity (wisely directed by the Divine Mother Kundalini) to disintegrate many psychic aggregates that I was unaware of. I had them, but I never believed I had them; that if someone had told me, “You have such a defect," well, frankly, I would not have accepted it.
So, in truth, I got to know all that and as a result of these studies, of these works, I wrote the work entitled The Mystery of the Golden Flower; then I wrote Treatise of Revolutionary Psychology, and then The Great Rebellion.
All that is needed is, shall we say, to observe oneself from moment to moment. People easily accept that they have a physical body because they can touch it, because they can physically see it; but there are many who do not want to understand that they have a particular, individual psychology. When one accepts that one has a psychology, one actually begins to observe oneself; when one begins to observe oneself, one unquestionably becomes, for that reason, a completely different person.
Through psychological self-observation, from instant to instant, from moment to moment, one discovers one's own psychological defects. These emerge spontaneously during interrelation, and if we are alert and vigilant, like the sentinel in times of war, then we see them.
A discovered defect must be integrally comprehended in all the levels of the mind.
One comprehends a defect through the technique of meditation.
Now, reaching the deep significance of such a defect is not a matter for beginners; that is for people who are already working on the hidden part of the psychological moon.
Be content with comprehending it, and that is all. Once comprehended, then you can invoke Devi-Kundalini, your divine cosmic mother so that she disintegrates it. Several work sessions will be necessary for the disintegration of this or that psychological defect. Sometimes it takes a few days, other times months to be able to disintegrate a defect.
Now, disintegration becomes easier when the work is done in the ninth sphere, because the Devi-Kundalini power is reinforced with the transcendent sexual electricity. Thus, a defect that could have disintegrated in six months, or a year of work [when working alone] can [through sexual cooperation] be disintegrated in a month or in fifteen days, or in a week in the ninth sphere. There it is necessary to cry out to Devi-Kundalini to pulverize this or that error.
I am speaking to you on the basis of psychological experience. I suffered a lot for 30 years disintegrating, for example, the psychological defects of the visible part of the psychological moon. And I also suffered a lot working with the hidden part of the psychological moon, but I managed it!
In the name of truth, I no longer possess the inhuman psychic aggregates; now speaks here, before you, the Being and nothing but the Being. So, my thoughts do not spring from the depths of any ego because I have no egos; the Being speaks through me directly; and that's it...
Let the questions continue, then, because we must answer them all (and forgive me so much for the “well," because it turns out that we are in the land of “well”: in Guadalajara, Jalisco).
Well, who's going to talk? Whoever is going to ask, please ask (then, something wrong with the microphone).
Student: Venerable master, for exactly 26 years (which I say, which is a psychological defect created by my own mind), they come to me (we use a mosquito net because there are a lot of mosquitoes on Santo Domingo) and they take my brain; and I see many spiders on the mosquito net, and birds, birds with long beaks that came at me as if to hurt me.
Samael Aun Weor: I can't hear, brother, please bring the microphone close to your lips.
Student: Well, yes, for 26 years exactly since May 30, 1950, a crisis began in my mind. Every time I went to bed, my brain was like in a nightmare, but I could see (in the “mosquito net”) hairy spiders, right? And birds with long beaks that came as if to hurt me. Two nights ago, exactly, and that got a little bigger: the same thing happened to me here, at the hotel, and I could see that a man came out, tried to pour something out of that ear (I was fighting with him, that was in dreams). I asked for help from a friend who was in a bed next to mine, and I saw a man who came out, a black monkey. Could you explain to me why this and so much?
Samael Aun Weor: Well, brother, we are going to answer this question with great pleasure, although it is of an individual nature, right? I hope that the next questions are related to the organizations and form of gnosis, in the countries of the United States, Puerto Rico and Santo Domingo. But as an exception, in this case, we will give an answer.
These "spiders" are psychic aggregates that personify skepticism, materialism. They clearly indicate to us, in fact, that in a past existence you were very skeptical or incredulous, and in this same existence you have not been so believing, so to speak. Consequence or corollary: there are those horrible "spiders" in your mind, created by yourself, and as for the "birds" those, of such bad omen, are also creations of your own mind, egos of skepticism, of materialism.
In the present existence that you have, you must disintegrate those “spiders” and those “birds” of mental materialism. For this purpose, you have to work a lot on yourself. Dedicate yourself to work with the Divine Mother Kundalini. Beg her to disintegrate those "spiders" and those "birds" of such bad omen.
You yourself have made those creations; that is the outcome of skepticism and materialism.
Faith will arise in you when you destroy those horrible "spiders" and those hideous "birds"... ...well, but this time don't come up with more questions of a purely individual type.
Student: Master Samael, I would like to ask you a question regarding the rise of the Kundalini. If a man practices sexual magic with several women using the same procedure as if he practiced it with one, why aren't the results the same?
Samael Aun Weor: Distinguished brother, I will gladly answer your question.
The Kundalini is not something mechanical; the sacred fire of love is the divine cosmic mother. She, in herself, is omniscient, omnimerciful and totally just, and it would be absurd to suppose, even for a moment, that our Mother Kundalini would reward adultery (in this case), because obviously she would become an accomplice in the crime. So that is my answer.
Student: Venerable Master Samael, how is it possible that if a person betrays his guru, the sexual fire does not promote him, in the event that he is working fully with his wife and complying with the rules of the work?
Samael Aun Weor: I will gladly answer his question, distinguished sister...
The sexual flame, the Divine Mother Kundalini-shakti, is not something mechanical, I repeat, and it ascends with the merits of the heart. If the master, the guru, is betrayed, it is clear that there are no merits for promotion. The Divine Mother Kundalini would never reward betrayal.
I knew, on some occasion, the case of a guru who instructed a student. The latter turned against his master, pronounced against him; however, he continued to practice the sahaja maithuna with his priestess-wife, but it is clear that the sacred fire, instead of rising through the spinal canal, rushed down from the coccyx, becoming the tail of satan, the abominable kundabuffer organ. This is how that student failed completely; he became a black tantric, an adept of the "left hand," a tenebrous one.
The Kundalini Mother, I repeat, does not reward betrayals.
Student: Master, in the environment of the Gnostic student body there is concern for the Sahaja Maithuna, but not for the dissolution of the ego. What can you tell us about this?
Samael Aun Weor: I will gladly answer your question, distinguished lady...
Certainly, those who are only concerned with sexual magic, radically forgetting the dissolution of the ego, is because they are totally unaware of the foundation of erotic alchemy.
We must concretize such foundation as follows: “solve et coagula” (dissolve and coagulate). During the Sahaja Maithuna one must work on the dissolution of the ego and coagulate the sexual hydrogen Si-12 in the marvelous creation of the solar bodies.
It is necessary to annihilate the myself, the ego, in full erotic, sexual work. Right there, in the ninth sphere, during the trance of the united couple, one must invoke the Divine Mother Kundalini with all one's heart and soul. Beg her to use transcendent electricity, the power of the phallic spear to destroy the ego, the “I," the defect that we have comprehended in any of all levels of the mind.
We must never forget that the ego is made up of multiple entities that personify our errors, namely, anger, greed, lust, envy, pride, laziness, gluttony, etc. All these defects are processed in all the 49 regions of the subconsciousness and are perfectly expressed, internally, in the form of devil-egos.
Eliminating such a defect would be equivalent to eliminating its hidden personifications, called devil-egos.
She, the Divine Mother Kundalini, wields the spear of Longinus to destroy and reduce to ashes the defect that we have comprehended.
We must take advantage, I repeat, of the same practice of maithuna to eliminate the ego.
Whosoever only cares about nothing more than enjoyment, for enjoyment, for the rise of the flame, but who never thinks about the dissolution of the "I", finally becomes a hasnamuss with a double center of gravity.
A hasnamuss is, as we have already said many times, a subject with two internal personalities: the white one, formed by their solar vehicles or bodies; the black, formed by the ego, by the I, by the myself, by the “I."
Thus, let us never forget the “solve et coagula," dissolve the errors, the psychological defects during the Sahaja Maithuna, and coagulate the marvelous forces of sex in the Christic, solar vehicles. Do you understand, my dear sister?
Student: Master, I am a little confused and I would like you to clarify the doubt I have, since after having listened to you, the thought comes to mind that sexual enjoyment is bad then, that erotic happiness is bad then...
Samael Aun Weor: But when are you going to understand me? Remember that sexual enjoyment is a legitimate enjoyment of the human being. Sexual delight is heavenly; what I do want is for you to understand that such delight, that such enjoyment must be directed inwards and upwards, towards the divine. It is necessary, it is indispensable that in full intercourse one eliminates every atom of lust. Intercourse is a form of prayer. Lust is its antithesis; lust, I repeat, is a sacrilege.
Why should we be lustful? The woman's yoni is symbolized by the chalice from which the Christ drank during the Last Supper. The man's phallus is allegorized by the spear with which Longinus wounded the Lord's side, the same one used by the Wagnerian Parsifal to heal the wound in Amfortas's side.
This pair of treasures, so symbolic and divine, are formidable. They exactly represent the lingam-yoni of the Greek mysteries. Why then should we look at sex with eyes of hate? Why should we have lust? No, brothers and sisters! Lust (know it) is a profanation, a sacrilege really. Lust is, would be similar to a man who threw the bread and wine of the Gnostic Mass on the ground and then trampled on them.
This kind of infamous sacrilege is horrible; the one who desecrates the lingam-yoni with rude and lustful thoughts of it, in fact, my dear brothers and sisters, is sacrilegious, dark, lustful.
Enjoy, yes, sex, but direct all your sexual commerce towards God; do not think of sexual pleasure with lust. Lust is sacrilegious. understood?
Student: As it is so topical and is related to what you have told us, I would like to ask you the following: does the awareness of those “hippie movement” boys progress with the drugs they use? Are their experiences, obtained under the influence of drugs, similar to those obtained by masters?
Samael Aun Weor: Your question is interesting, my dear brother, and I will gladly give you a concrete and definitive answer.
The hippie movement, as I have already said, is negatively polarized with Dionysus; we Gnostics are positively polarized (behold the difference). We transmute the creative energies. We sublimate them. We elevate them to the brain. We take them to the heart and to the consciousness. They, by antithesis, have degenerated sexually, have dedicated themselves to psychedelia...
First of all, in order to understand this, we have to speak clearly, emphatically, and intelligently, about certain interesting aspects of our doctrine. That of the "psychedelia" or the "psychedelic" is the antipole of meditation. The hallucinatory mushrooms, marijuana, etc., evidently intensify the vibratory capacity of the subjective powers, but it is clear that they could never originate the awakening of the consciousness.
Marijuana and drugs in general actually damage (greatly) alpha, beta and gamma rays. Such rays, undoubtedly, are attained in every atom and this is known by anyone who has dedicated himself to atomic physics, to nuclear physics. There is something, however, in each atomic nucleus, which is beyond alpha, beta, and gamma rays; it is, let us say, a “something” of a conscientious type that transcends such rays. If we study the alpha, beta and gamma rays inside atoms and under the influence of marijuana, for example, we see that they become active, that is, there is a kind of explosion of such rays inside the living brain cell, and that is proven. As a result, memory loss and even reflexes are damaged. Therefore, in no way is marijuana or any other type of drug advisable...
It appears that the aforementioned drug is considered by some as "magnificent" for the awakening of objective consciousness, but take into account that drugs with their effects have results very similar to those of the abominable Kundabuffer organ. Undoubtedly, those tenebrous ones who have developed such an "organ" (which is located precisely in the coccyx), have a psychological aspect very similar to that of those who use drugs. That is why Blavatsky has said that some black magicians in Tibet feel “super-enlightened." Certainly, if we confront or put face-to-face the adepts of the universal white brotherhood and the adepts of the left hand of Eastern Tibet, as a consequence or corollary we could say that both feel enlightened; however, it is obvious that only the adepts of the white brotherhood have achieved the objectification of their consciousness. Frankly, there is no basis for hippies to believe that enlightenment is achieved in this way, but nevertheless the henchmen of the dark fraternity of the Western world also feel (as in the East) completely “enlightened." And it is that darkness is very similar to light (although those on the left only know the purely dark aspect of the issue) and that is why anyone can easily get lost or fall, even if it is conceptually an error.
The one who has reached objective enlightenment, the one who has reached ecstasy, samadhi, has a superabundance of transcendental data about the reality of things, not as they appear to be but as their essence. However, those who are under the influence of drugs, those who go through a moment of marijuana, let's say, they think they are lucid; they think they are in the light; they think they have achieved the objectification of their consciousness, but in reality they relate, not with cosmic truths, let's say, but with the obverse of the medal, with the obverse of pure science.
The perception of shadows in some way, even if by analogy or similarity, correlates with the mundane aspects of reality. Of course, many suppose that they are enlightened for that reason; but it is not irrelevant, at this point, to repeat with Dante Alighieri and his “divine comedy” that “darkness is the disguise of light." Unquestionably, where the light shines brightest, the darkness also becomes thickest. In front of a temple of light there is also one of darkness.
So, my dear brother and sisters, what is perceived with marijuana and hallucinogenic mushrooms is the obverse of the medal, that is, the other side of reality. The truth also, I repeat, is disguised as darkness.
When one does not have that suprasensible experience, when one has not truly reached transcendent enlightenment, it is clear that one can confuse the suprasensible experiences with those of the abominable Kundabuffer organ, or with those of marijuana, or with mushrooms, etc.
All of this can be confused with the samadhi or mystical rapture that men like Raymund Luly, Nicolás Flamel, Sendivogius and many other great anchorites, alchemists and enlightened people once had.
So, I don't want to try to criticize hippies in any way; I am only trying to clarify that when one does not have experience in the field of transcendent objectivity, one can (by means of marijuana or mushrooms) confuse darkness with light, and that is all...