ר Resh

The Hebrew letter ר Resh is the twentieth Hebrew letter. It has a shape similar to a backwards English letter r.

The letter ר Resh represents our head.

• Head: ראשי (rosh)

In this simple shape, we find the very source for spiritual aspiration.

The letter ר Resh follows the letter ב Beth in the Hebrew word ברא bera, "to create."

The letter ר Resh is one of the letters in the Hebrew alphabet that initiates or begins, that starts something.

• First: ראשון
• First of all, firstly, origin, beginning, starting point: ראשית
• Increase: רבה

Creation is the goal of our inner Elohim, our inner Being, that divinity from whom we have our life.

• Genesis: בראשית

The creation (Genesis) that our Innermost seeks to establish is performed through Resh, our head. This might sound unusual coming in the twentieth lecture, and in the previous nineteen we always talked about creation as a sexual activity, but you see, the very fire that enlivens life, that creates life and that establishes life, is in Resh: to spell the word Resh, you take the Hebrew word fire which is אש aleph-shin, "esh," and you put the letter Resh in front of it. So it is spelled ראש resh, aleph, shin: ר the head + אש fire, and that spells ראש Resh.

The letter Resh literally means "head" in Hebrew, but your head or brain is illuminated by אש fire. We have life, we have the capacity of perception, because in our brain is energy, electricity, what we call "Christ," but right now in us it is Christ fire that is not cognizant, that is not conscious, and this is the difference. That אש esh in your brain has to be made a cognizant fire, a fire that has full consciousness of itself, and when that fire in your body and your nervous system, in your head has become fully cognizant, it becomes Nephesh Chaiah, a "living soul." It becomes a Tzadik, a "righteous one," it becomes a Buddha, an enlightened, awakened consciousness. This is Resh, awakened.

• Master, Chief, Cardinal, Prima: ראשי

That is why Resh is the twentieth letter. א Aleph, the first letter, descends into existence, manifests creation, and elaborates nature, all for the purpose of that aleph returning back to its source, but awake, cognizant. The letter א aleph represents your Innermost, the wind, the Ruach Elohim.

• Wind, spirit: רוח ruach

Ruach begins with ר Resh, and רוח Ruach means "wind."

"And the רוח אלהים Ruach Elohim moved upon the face of the waters." - Genesis 1

The Ruach Elohim is your Innermost, it is your Being, God, Buddha. In Asian terms, it would be called Yidam. Those who practice Tantric Buddhism meditate daily on their yidam, their deity, a divine form that they meditate upon in which they imagine and visualize becoming that. This is not for pride, it is a practice of meditation, of devotion, in which one imagines that everything in oneself that is impure, that is imperfect, is destroyed, and what emerges in oneself is what is perfect, pure, divine, and that is the yidam, that is the Ruach Elohim. For that to occur, we need to manage our Resh, our head.

Our head is where this work fully emerges and becomes perfected. It is a beginning that is initiated in the letter ב Beth, the first letter in the scripture.

בראשית ברא אלהים

Bereshit bara Elohim...

The common translation has been:

"In the beginning, God created..." - Genesis 1:1

But in Kabbalah, this has many, many accurate interpretations. In the case of the letter Resh, we could also interpret it to be:

ב ראשית ברא אלהים

"The Divine Mother [ב] first [ראשית] created [ברא] Elohim [אלהים]..." - Genesis 1:1

The letter ב Beth represents the Divine Mother, who in her manifestation in nature in Sanskrit is called Kundalini, and in Sanskrit is Tummo, "she who terrifies the ego." She is the beginning of creation. She is "Bereshit bara Elohim," that creation that occurs in the real Man (the Being).

Athena / Minerva, the Divine Feminine force born from the head (rosh) of Zeus

The force of the divine feminine (Tummo) rises in us as esh, fire. It emerges through the sexual organs, where our nervous system collects the most potent and vital forces that are available to us. Through Tantra (alchemy, transmutation) that fire is harnessed, transformed, enlivened, purified, and it rises up the spinal column of the practitioner. The spine is represented by the letter ו Vav, which illustrates the spinal column up to the brain.

Visualize your inner letter ר Resh: that letter is your head. Rising into that ר Resh is the letter ו Vav. What rises up that letter ו Vav is the letter א Aleph (the wind, your Being, God), which is esh, fire. The Divine Mother Kundalini takes the forces of God (the akashic breath) and through willpower and purity carries that aleph up the spine.

So, now we are imagining three letters: at the top is a ר Resh, in the middle a ו Vav, and at the bottom א Aleph. That א Aleph (wind) is latent in the sexual organs. That wind is Ruach Elohim who hovers over the sexual waters, awaiting creation, that creation that we initiate when we take this work seriously and we practice.

Through the intervention of the Divine Mother, the Aleph rises up the ו Vav and illuminates Resh, our head: these three letters Aleph, Vav and Resh spell אור Aur, which is Hebrew for "light." So do you see this beautiful mysticism? From the אש fire of the Divine Mother comes light. Without אש fire, there is no אור light. Without air (א aleph), there is no אש fire.

If you want light in your head, you need to bring the fire there. If you want your ר Resh to be illuminated, if you want to have that halo we see around the head of the Buddha or any saint, that halo is אור Aur, light.

"ו (spine, "and") Elohim said, 'Let there be אור: and there was אור." - Genesis 1

This occurs because of laws of nature; for us to do it, we require a precise science. It does not happen mechanically, or because of having good intentions, or because we believe. It happens because of cause and effect: laws of nature.

We have within us the capacity to become a Buddha, an angel, a master, but one who becomes a Tzadik (a righteous one) and then becomes a Nephesh Chaiah (a living soul) is one who has done it through a tremendous, great revolution, a psychological revolution, in which they cleanse their Resh, head. Furthermore, they have to make room in the Resh for that light to emerge. What stands in the way? The ego, self-love, self-consideration, resentment, envy, fear, and most of all, lust.

Those elements obscure the light. Those elements are darkness, and where those elements exist, the light cannot emerge. So, look into your head: what do you see, darkness or light? Do you see a cognizant pure love that is selfless and lacking any pride? Or do you see a selfish love that justifies itself, always defends its "virtue" by proclaiming its reasons, its excuses, its justifications?

To successfully perform this self-inquiry requires a mind that is very stable, that is silent. It requires an attentive consciousness, and not just for a few minutes a day, but continually. You see, our Resh has become dominated by many conflicting wills. When we look sincerely into our own mind, we see a surging chaos of worries, memories, fears, desires, attachments, goals, projects, and plans.

We become attached to these psychological factors, which are called in the Judeo-Christian tradition are called idols. Why? Because we worship them. When the scriptures refer to the worshipping of idols, it is not referring to physical, literal statues. The scriptures are referring to what we worship in our Resh, in our head. What do we worship? We worship that which we pay attention to, that which we devote our energy to, that which we bow before daily. Many of us believe that we worship God, Buddha, or Krishna, and many of us believe that we are good people, sincere, humble, but if we are really sincere and look into our head, look into our heart, we will see otherwise.

If we observe and watch the stream of our mind in our daily existence, we will see that rarely is a thought of God present. Instead, we see continual thoughts about ourselves, about finding security, about finding safety, about finding a desire, about fulfilling a longing for money, for a house, for a spouse. This continual stream of longings is precisely what keeps our head dark.

In the scriptures we hear from King Solomon:

"At all times let your garments be white and let שמן [shemen, oil] not be wanting on your head." - Ecclesiastes 9:8

The Garments We Wear

Solomon says, "Let your garments be white," but what are those garments? They also are not literal, physical clothes. The master Jesus explained those garments in the gospel:

"And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: and he saith unto him, 'Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment?' And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, 'Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast [him] into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'" - Matthew 22

To attend "the wedding" one must have "a wedding garment." He was not talking about a literal cloak or fancy suit. He was talking about the soul, that which we dress ourselves with psychologically and spiritually.

What do we dress ourselves with daily psychologically and spiritually? When we observe ourselves and step back and look into our head and watch what is in our head from moment to moment from hour to hour, what do we find? That which is in our head is what we dress ourselves with psychologically and spiritually. aWhat do we dress with as a psyche, as a mind? Greed, ambition, competitiveness, fear, lust. This is a question that only you can answer, and you cannot answer it speculatively or by guessing, you have to answer it by observing yourself, very sincerely and without pride, without shame, without emotion, but to observe as if from a distance, to see what is actually there, so as to see how you dress yourself psychologically.

What do you cloth yourself with from day to day? How does your mind dress? Your dreams can show you this also. When we work with dream yoga, we work to recall the contents of our mind more directly, because dreams are a reflection of our emotional and mental qualities. Every dream has value in this way. They may be an illusion, they may be insubstantial imagery, but nonetheless they are a reflection of our own mind.

We use meditation also. The value of meditation is that it gives us a skill to observe our mind without passion, without conceit, without losing objectivity.

So, how do we clothe our mind from day to day?

The wedding garment in the gospels is very different from the garments that Adam and Eve wore. If you recall in the story of the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve symbolize an ancient state of consciousness that we once had, a state of innocence and purity. Thus, symbolically, the man and woman in Eden are represented as "naked," not naked physically, but psychologically naked, unashamed; they represent a primordial state of development, a state of purity.

Yet when Eve ate of that forbidden fruit and gave to Adam,

"And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they [were] naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons." - Genesis 3

Then God gave them "coats of skin":

"Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them." - Genesis 3

Of course, most people read this literally and think there was one man and one woman who knows how long ago who ate an apple they were not supposed to eat and then got kicked out of some garden, but that is not the meaning. You see, when you study the Zohar, when you study Kabbalah, when you study the scriptures of the world, you understand that this story represents a state of consciousness.

It is a state of consciousness through which all of us have passed, and through which all of us have failed the test. You see, in the primordial state of our spiritual development, our consciousness was pure: it was simple, unclothed, naked, and unashamed. This reflects an elemental state of being, not yet having developed the wedding garments, yet not also having the ego, but pure, simple, and divine.

Unfortunately, we were presented with a temptation, and that temptation happens through our brain and through sex. We have explained many times that Adam and Eve are symbolic on many levels. Adam can represent an ancient humanity, but also represents your brain. Adam represents Resh. Eve represents the sexual organs. So in us, we face a temptation in our given stage of development when we are told "these trees are for your benefit but do not eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge." Those two trees are ourselves:

• Otz Daath: the Tree of Knowledge
• Otz Chaim: the Tree of Lives: our spinal column, brain, senses—both physical and internal senses.

That tree has twelve fruits: five physical senses and seven internal. Those senses all operate through Resh, the brain. Resh, here on the top of the body, is the main thing that you need to be alive; through it we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, speak, listen, learn.

Physically, our senses are all centered in our head, but also spiritually, did you know that? A healthy brain, a healthy nervous system, is a must in any spiritual development. A brain that is decayed or degenerated cannot serve God. You see, in the centre of your brain is the pineal gland, and towards the front of that is the pituitary gland, and these are related to Sahasrara and Ajna chakras. These are the roots of clairvoyance and supernal polyvoyance. When the Divine Mother creates, her whole goal is to raise the fire from the base of the spine up to the brain in order to enliven that perception, to awaken, to fill our senses with light, but unfortunately our brain (Adam) receives the temptation of the fruit through the sexual organs (Eve), and when that happens, we are cast out of the garden of the Lord: we discover shame, fear, we become separated from God.

Puberty

We experience a microcosm of this story, a reflection of it, a recapitulation of it, during puberty. Our physical life is only a recapitulation of our spiritual evolution. This is a cause for you to meditate, as you will learn much from it.

The transition from being a child to being a sexually active youth who has the sexual energy active in the body, we pass through a great transformation. During puberty, we again face sexual temptation, as a reflection of our ancient past. Unfortunately, most people fail, and are again "cast out of Eden," the Eden or innocence of youth.

When we enter into those ages (twelve to fourteen, but nowadays it is even younger), we hear about that "fruit of the tree of knowledge," which is the orgasm. We hear about sex from our friends, from websites, magazines, and our sexual organs (Eve) feel attracted to it, and our brain (Adam) becomes tempted, because it wants to taste those sensations. We do not hear not to do it. Nobody tells us not to eat that fruit. Our parents do not tell us, our friends do not tell us, our religions do not tell us. And since we want to be like our friends, we want to be cool, we want to be accepted, we want security socially. Unfortunately, that is our undoing. When we make that discovery of the orgasm, we exit "Eden."

In this current age, that transition is not so visible now, because the karma that most children already have is so intense. Most children nowadays do not have "an Edenic period." Older people might remember their childhood and remember something "of Eden," a time of innocence and purity, a time of happiness, a time when one could be naked and unashamed... do you remember that? Now, only the older people can remember that, because the younger ones are so burdened psychologically that most do not have it. Many children now are born and begin to hear about sex at two and three years old. Do not be surprised by that. They find their parents pornography, they find it on the internet, they hear about it from their siblings, they see it on television. Children today are not innocent.

It is documented now by many studies that by the ages of seven and eight many children have already tried to have sex. This is a horrible fact of our "modern" era, but it is a fact. It is indicative of the advancing karma of this humanity. It is very sad.

By fourteen and fifteen, most kids have experienced sex in some form, and are active sexually. We can see this in the way children dress now, the way they talk, the way they behave. None of this is normal.

This state of affairs reflects our own psyche. All of us are guilty; all of us have a role in it, and in order for it to change, we need to bring "the oil to our head." We need to be anointed. We need to take care of what we put into our brain, into our mind, into our Resh.

The Anointing of Oil

The scriptures say:

"...let oil not be wanting on your head."

This scripture is like many others in the Bible in both the Old Testament and the New Testament in which we hear about the anointing of oil on the head. It has become a ritual in many churches and synagogues to perform an anointing of oil as an act of purification. This anointing though is not literal, physical. The oil that is referred to is not olive oil as is commonly interpreted. These lines are Kabbalistic, they are symbolic. To comprehend them, we need to know about Kabbalah. We need to understand how to look deeper into these letters and words to understand the meaning.

The word oil in Hebrew is שמן shemen, spelled שמן Shin Mem Nun. The letter Shin can be pronounced with the h or without, so it could be pronounced shemen or semen. That sounds familiar, does not it?

That שמן oil that the scriptures talk about over and over and over is not olive oil. That word se-men literally means "extract, essence, that which is pressed out." How do you get the oil from an olive? You crush it. How do you get the oil from any fruit, from any grain, from anything? You have to apply heat and pressure and extract it out.

What is the essence of a man? What is the vital extract of a human being? Physically speaking, spiritually speaking, it is the sexual energy, it is that force with a single drop of it you can create another person. Nothing else in you can do that. So that "oil" is your very essence, your sexual matter. Everything of you is condensed into that drop, that seed, and that is the oil which is referred to.

"They that [were] foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps." - Matthew 25

That se-men (oil) has to be treated with great reverence, as something sacred, as something holy, and not as a game, a toy, as entertainment. Unfortunately, it is treated that way now. Sex is seen now as simply a source of pleasure. Some use it as a source of power to control others, many use it as a diversion to avoid their pain, to avoid the truth about themselves, but this is not the purpose of the sexual force. The purpose of the sexual energy is to create life, spiritually, consciously, psychologically, physically, yes, and this is obvious, but there is a higher purpose beyond physical creation, and that is the creation of the man, the soul, Buddha.

Padmasambhava, whose name means "lotus-born" was born out of the waters, a self-arisen Buddha. Jesus walked upon the waters. Moses (Moshe) floated upon the waters as a baby. All of the great masters commanded the waters and received the oil upon their heads, this anointment, a blessing, something sacred.

To take the oil (shemen) to the head is not something physical, literal, it is something spiritual and psychological. For that force, for that extract of the human being to be utilized spiritually, it has to be transformed into a spiritual substance. It is not the literal, physical substance, because that is merely a vehicle of energy. The important aspect of the oil is inside it, spiritually, just like how the important aspect of you is not the physical part, but it is your spiritual part, your psychological part.

That oil has to rise up the Vav and illuminate our brain (Resh). This is symbolized by Yakob, Jacob, who rested his head upon a stone, and upon doing so he had a vision of a great ladder, and saw all the beings of divinity rising and descending upon that ladder. That ladder is the tree of life. That ladder is the spinal column.

"And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put [for] his pillows, and set it up [for] a pillar, and poured שמן shemen [oil] upon the top of it." - Genesis 28

Your spine is a ladder of thirty-three steps. One ascends or descends upon it according to one's mind, to one's action, which is related to the stone Jakob rests his rosh (head) upon. When Yakob arose from his vision, he set the stone upright. That stone is the sephirah Yesod, the "foundation" of the temple, and he poured oil upon it. That oil is the transformed sexual force. This is symbolic, not literal. Many read this and think Jacob was out in a field somewhere and put a stone up and poured oil over it. What would God care about that? Why would it make a difference to pour oil over a physical rock? How could that mean anything? It does not. Again, the meaning is not literal.

Spiritually, we need to pour the oil upon our rock, Yesod, our sexual organs, for that force to begin the transmutation, then it rises based upon that.

This is how we take the oil to our head: we begin at the bottom, we begin with the feet.

You might recall a beautiful story in the Gospels:

"And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that [Jesus] sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, and stood at his feet behind [him] weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe [them] with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed [them] with the ointment." - Luke 7

Once again, people think the meaning here is literal. But when you analyze this kabbalistically we know that Jesus represents Christ, shin, fire. Who is that woman? Who is that who repents? Who longs to repent for her sin? It is our Eve, our inner Eve, our inner Mary Magdalene, the sinner: our own psyche.

If you know the story of Psyche and Eros, you know that Psyche goes against the commands of the divine and opens the box (or vase) and saw what was inside and immediately fell into a deep sleep. It is the same as Eve eating of the fruit. In the Greek myth, Psyche falls asleep; this is the same as Eve being cast out of Eden. When one is cast out of Eden, one falls asleep as a consciousness.

How does Psyche awaken? By the grace of Eros. The word Eros is Greek for "love." Nowadays people translate this as sexual, which is how we use the word "erotic," derived from Eros. People translate it as sexual love, or in other words, lust. Yet, originally, Eros is not lust. Eros is actually chastity, the divine sexual force. Due to our corruption, we see our lust in everything, even the divine. When Eros awakens Psyche, it is with a chaste kiss, a love so pure, so divine, we cannot comprehend it because there is no self-love, there is only pure love. Eros is just another name for Christ.

This story about Psyche and Eros represents how Christ (Eros) can awaken us. Eros is the sexual force. In order for this to happen, Psyche must repent. Mary Magdalene must repent. Eve must repent. Eve is our sexual organs. In other words, we have to stop our bad behaviors, we have to purify ourselves, we need to be remorseful for our mistakes, we need to bow at the feet of Christ inside of us and "wash his feet with our tears."

She wipes his feet with her hair. In ancient Judaeo-Christian traditions, long hair represented chastity. We know that from the story of Shemshon (Samson).

"There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I [have been] a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any [other] Adam [man]." - Judges 16:17

Traditionally, adulterers would have the heads shaved as a sign of their sexual impurity. Shaved heads or short hair used to be a sign of shame. Nowadays, it is a sign of pride.

So in this story we see that the woman has already grown her hair back, thus she is in chastity.

She is humbling herself at the feet of Christ. This is the beginning of redemption, when that part of us begins to repent, and bows at the feet of our inner Christ, and begins to utilize those forces in the right way: offering them to God.

That ointment that she carried is the oil, shemen, and by shemen, we do not mean physical semen. This shemen is the essence of a man or a woman. It is the very extract of what you are, and when that is preserved, sanctified, and offered to God, then he can help you, only then.

The one who continues to harm themselves, to sin in other words, who can help them? Not even Christ can save the ones who condemn themselves through their harmful actions. Christ can only save the ones who repent and stop their own wrong actions. This is a great fallacy in this time that unfortunately, even people in Gnosis still retain, which is this idea that "God always forgives our sins so there is nothing to worry about. We can do whatever we want and tonight when we go home we can just repent, because God will say, 'I forgive you.'" It does not work that way. Every single action that we perform has a consequence, no matter what. God may forgive you, but it does not mean you are free of the consequences of your actions.

Jesus said,

"For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. [...] That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. [...] Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing." - Matthew 5

This is very significant. He never said, "Believe in me, repent, and everything is going to be great." If that was all his message was, then we would not need the whole Bible, we would not need all the scriptures; we would just need to raise our hand and say, "I believe, I repent," and continue acting like we do, but this is not the way it works, and the evidence is everywhere around us. Where in this society do we see souls who are rising in purity and perfection, like Christ? Where do we see souls pure—Christ-like—in thoughts, feelings, and actions? Where do we see the light of Christ in the faces of men and women? We do not. We see darkness in people's faces, words, and actions. When we look in the mirror, when we look around us, we see anger, pride, despair, hate. When we go in the churches and temples, we see greed, adultery, fornication, envy, pride, anger, fanaticism, ignorance. We do not see purity, contentment, simplicity, humility, the cognizant love of Christ. We do not see a Resh that is illuminated by the light of God. We do not see Buddhas walking the streets. Instead, we see devils.

When our brain and our sexual organs (Adam and Eve) become tempted and we eat of that fruit—we discover the orgasm—we begin to indulge in sexual desire; that is a reflection of the story of Adam and Eve.

"And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they [were] naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons." - Genesis 3

"Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them." - Genesis 3

This is not literal, it is psychological.

Kabbalah teaches us that while in Eden, Adam and Eve were naked but unashamed, and that is because of their psychological purity. Their innocence was their clothing. When one is pure, when one is innocent, there is no shame. What is there to be ashamed of when one has committed no wrong? When we feel pain in our heart, when we feel a tumult in our heart, it is because the ego is alive, it is because we have made mistakes, and that is shameful.

Kabbalistically, this is represented very beautifully, because while in Eden, Adam and Eve were clothed with light, Aur.

"In the secrets of the Torah, Adam had nothing from this world. The Righteous had his contact with the female. From this contact came one body whose illumination more than all the angels and messenger from above. When that one body was created, the supernal King, sent with this Righteous, 22 letters, joined with them, and then he came into the world. When he came, the sun and moon saw him and their light was dimmed; the heel of the foot darkened their light. For what reason? Because he is derived from the doings of the supernal sun and moon. However, when he sinned, he became dark and reduced himself and needed another body with skin and flesh, as it is written, "For the man also and for his wife did Hashem Elohim make coats of skins, and clothed them" (Beresheet 3:21)." - Zohar

Light in Hebrew is אור Aur, spelled Aleph-Vav-Resh. When Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, they were given "coats of skin," which is written כתנות עור. The "clothing" is עור Aur also, but spelled עור Ayin-Vav-Resh. The א Aleph is replaced by ע Ayin. Aleph is the Innermost, the wind, the Ruach, the presence of God.

In other words, when we commit sexual mistakes, we eat a fruit that we should not eat. We fall victim to Rah, which you remember is related to עץ הדעת טוב ורע Otz Daath Tob Va Rah, "the tree of knowledge of purity and impurity." Rah is spelled רע Resh Ayin, and means "impurity, pollution." The coats of skin are spelled ער Ayin Resh or עור Ayin Vav Resh. It is the same word as Rah, impurity, but the letters are switched, and in Kabbalah, it means the same thing. This is one of the beauties of the Hebrew language: when words have similar letters, it means they are related. In English, there are words like not and note; these are spelled similarly but are not related. In Hebrew, however, if the words are spelled with the same letters, there is a relationship. Rah and Ar are related. Adam and Eve covered themselves with sin, pollution.

Do we not see this in the world? Do we not see it in our own life? We cloth ourselves psychologically in pollution. When we feel shame, despair, lonely, do we not cloth ourselves with desires, with illusions, with wrong actions? Many who feel alone, who feel an emptiness in their heart, try to fill it with money, sexual escapades, power, drugs, alcohol, etc. Each time that we feel a pain, despair, disconnected from God or from each other, we run to our own psychological addictions. It might be our career, we might bury ourselves in work, in stress, anxiety, we might clothe ourselves with depression, resentment, criticism, sarcasm, hate.

All of us who are impure do this. We take coats of skin on ourselves in order to suffocate our pain, to attempt to not feel it, and what is the result? We take into our psyche into our brain, into our heart, into our body, impurity; it is a form of psychological suicide.

What We Put in Our Head

Why do we take into ourselves what we take in? Why do we persist in our wrong actions? Why are we attached to things that hurt us? Why does an alcoholic become an alcoholic? Because of pain. Why does a sex addict become a sex addict? Because of pain. Why does a drug addict become a drug addict? Because of pain: spiritual pain, psychological pain, emotional pain.

All of us have these addictions in some place to some degree. Some of us are merely addicted to profit, ambition, to competitiveness, even spiritually.

"Of the צור tsuwr [rock] [that] begat thee thou art unmindful, and hast forgotten God that formed thee. [...] [people like that shall be] burnt with רעב ra'ab [hunger, addiction], and devoured with רשף resheph [burning heat], and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of בהמות behemoth upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust." - Deuteronomy 32

Our duty is to be mindful of the divine, and to discover what we do with our own Resh; how we clothe ourselves with lies instead of light. Instead of allowing divinity to emerge in our brain and shine inwards and outwards, we fill ourselves with false light. We consume impressions that are harmful. We consume food and water that are harmful. We are addicted [רעב ra'ab] to impurity.

It is worth reflecting on all this, because your brain, your Resh, is really where the the light of your God can emerge. The letter Resh represents cognizance, comprehension, understanding, and that is why it is one of the most creative letters in Hebrew.

Your physical brain is a vehicle of light; the type of light is up to us. Take care of your brain; be aware that alcohol destroys your brain. This is not my opinion, this is a scientific fact. When you consume alcohol, you destroy your brain, your liver, your nervous system, and even your plans. When you take intoxicants of any kind, you destroy your nervous system, and not just what we call "drugs" like marijuana, meth, cocaine, all the great diversity of chemical agents that humanity loves so much now, but there are many other types of drugs that we become addicted to. Sex is a drug, caffeine is a drug, cigarettes are drugs, and we all know that they are bad for us, but we indulge in them anyway, we ignore the consequences. You see even physically that they damage you.

If your brain and nervous system are damaged, how can God use them? How can God use broken tools? He will try, and may be able to heal you if the damage is not too severe. This is the most miraculous of thing of all: your Divine Mother can heal you, but not if you persist in killing yourself. You can only be healed when you initiate the process of healing.

What do you put into your Resh? Physically, it is very difficult now to find pure food and water. It is very difficult to find pure air. Most of what we ingest into our body is polluted. Our bodies are now polluted by huge quantities of toxic elements, heavy metals, even rocket fuel, jet fuel, radioactive materials, pesticides—there are so many toxic, unnatural elements floating in our bodies now, and yet we continue to eat garbage, we continue to drink garbage—willingly—but what is worse is what we eat and drink with our mind.

The great Bodhisattva Milarepa ate only nettles, a little thorny bush. Yet he became one of the greatest initiates of Tibet, thereby proving that your physical food is in some way irrelevant. Your spirituality is not defined by what is on your plate, and Jesus said as much:

"Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man." - Matthew 15

What do you take into your Resh, into your head, not just through your mouth, but through your eyes, through your ears? We become what we eat, not merely physically, but psychologically.

Why do our children grow up the way they grow up? Speaking disrespectfully, crudely, cursing... because they observe it, they see it, they imitate the adults.

Why is our brain filled with stories of thieves and criminals, murderers? Because we watch them every day on television and we read about them in our magazines, books, and newspapers, which are all about crime and the many ways to commit crime, and we say, "It is no good," but most of our movies, shows, and books are about the many ways that you can commit crime, not just crime against society, but crime against yourself.

Why do we watch these things? What kind of food is that for our soul, for our consciousness? What does that do to our psyche, to our brain?

If you meditate, you will see what it does. You will see that your mind is out of control, that it is a wild monkey, a kuf that is completely unmanaged; it is a monster, and who made it but us. Therefore, if you really want light to emerge in your Resh, be careful what you feed to that fire in your brain.

Samael Aun Weor told us:

"One must select impressions in the same manner that one chooses the things of life." - Samael Aun Weor

We have to choose what we ingest through all of our senses. This is not something accidental, neither is it something chaotic, but it must be cognizant.

Many so-called spiritual people live a very haphazard life, calling themselves very "serious" and yet they continue to watch television, go to the movies, drink alcohol, smoke, eat garbage, criticize each other, gossip, compete with each other, trying to get the most students, the most recognition, trying to be the most "spiritual." None of that has anything to do with real spirituality. True spirituality is anonymous, humble, invisible, it has no self.

What do we put into our Resh? What do we cloth ourselves with? The Bible says:

"Blessings are on the head of the righteous..."

The "righteous" we explained in the lecture on the letter Tzadi. Righteous in Hebrew is Tzadik. One is righteous by ones action not by ones intentions, and the blessing upon the heads of the righteous is Ruach. When we become a righteous one, it is because we have Ruach in our head (rosh).

The Three Souls

In Kabbalah, there are three types of soul related to this.

Nephesh is the animal soul or the anima. Nephesh is related with the blood, with instinct. Nephesh is the base level soul or embryo. All of us have that; it is that very force of existence or life that flows in our organism.

The second type of soul is Ruach, which means wind or spirit. This is not Ruach Elohim. Ruach Elohim is the spirit of the Elohim which is your own inner being. Ruach is a type of soul that belongs to the Being. Ruach is defined as a thinking, emotional soul.

Above that is Neshemah, the spiritual soul, cognizance, superior cognizance.

Translated literally, all three of these names can mean "breath."

It appears that many students of Kabbalah struggle to comprehend these three types of soul. What do they mean and how do they relate to the solar bodies? To understand them, we have to apply ourselves in an intuitive way.

We know that our physical body is a vessel, a vehicle through which we act. The solar bodies, the subtle bodies, are vessels, too. The sephiroth Hod and Netzach represent the emotional (astral) and intellectual (mental) bodies. The sephirah Tiphereth represents the body of consciousness (causal body), which is also merely a vessel, a vehicle.

Here in our physicality and what works through us primarily is Nephesh, animal instinct; it is the base level of mind. It is our "soul," the essence, undeveloped, an embryo.

We have to work spiritually in order to elaborate Ruach. We have a particle of Ruach in the essence. Ruach is the thinking, emotional aspect that is undeveloped.

Also within that essence is a particle of Neshemah, which is cognizance, a type of understanding or comprehension that is beyond the mind. All of us have that, and we do not know how to use it.

Stated another way, those three souls are the energy, the intelligence that works through the bodies. Nephesh, Ruach, Neshemah are psychological, spiritual aspects that work through the physical body, vital body, astral body, casual body. They are distinct from the bodies, but related.

In us most of humanity, we only see the activity of nephesh, animal instinct, and that is why everyone loves animalistic behavior: fornication, adultery, violence. Those are animal behaviors and that is what rules this planet: animal desire.

For us to aspire to being a righteous one and to receive the blessings on our head, we have to begin to empower Ruach, the thinking emotional soul. This is an aspect of consciousness; this does not require that we create solar bodies. This requires that we purify ourselves psychologically and spiritually, and furthermore, we must go beyond Ruach and receive Neshemah, which is a spiritual cognizance beyond the mind.

In other words, this is how we receive the blessings of God on our head. This is how:

"And the Jehovah Elohim formed Adam [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the נשמה nĕshamah [breath] of life; and man became a נפש חיה nephesh chaiah." - Genesis 2

That breath is literally in the scripture says "ne-shem-ah," Hebrew for breath. That is where nephesh the animal aspect has Christ, Chaiah, life. That is resurrection.

Resh, the twentieth Hebrew letter, relates to the twentieth arcanum of the Tarot: resurrection.

Resurrection occurs when everything that is impure in us has been killed, thus we die. When we, ourselves, the "me," the "I" is one hundred percent unequivocally dead psychologically, we can resurrect. We have to die psychologically. That is, all of our impurity has to die. When that death occurs and it is perfect and complete, the soul resurrects, the spirit resurrects, and the Ruach Elohim emerges, and that soul has become a Nephesh Chaiah, a living soul. This is not something theoretical, it has been lived by many before us, and any of us can follow in their example.

The Anointing of the King

In the Bible is a book that in English we call Samuel, but in Hebrew it is שמואל Shemuwel. In this book we find:

"Then שמואל [Samuel] took the קרן qeren [horn] of שמן shemen ["oil"], and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the רוח Ruach of יהוה came upon David from that day forward." - 1 Samuel 16

In Kabbalah it is known that these prophets and kings are symbolic of archetypes within us. Samuel anointing David represents something that we do for ourselves through transmutation, through work.

In Hebrew, the horn is called קרן qeren (it is spelled Kuf Resh Nun). In the Zohar it is explained that the קרן qeren represents the phallus, the male sexual organ.

"...from their union of the male and female principle comes forth a vineyard planted in Qeren ben Shamen, which appellation indicates its origin and nature. Qeren has here the same meaning as in the words, 'And it shall come to pass when they make a long blast with the Qeren Hayyabel (the horn of Jubilee)' (Josh. VI. 5). Thus the vineyard has for its origin the Jubilee or the deliverance, and this horn or trumpet of deliverance is associated with the male principle, termed here ('Ben Shamen,' which has the same meaning as the term 'ben horin' (son of nobles) (Eccles. X. 7). It also means 'son of the oil,' because of the source whence the oil flows, for supplying all the heavenly lamps whose light becomes more intense in proportion to its abundance. Furthermore, at the coronation of kings, this oil is poured into a horn, called the horn of Jubilee, and for this reason no one is crowned except he is first anointed with oil from this horn. On account of this the reign of David was of long duration." - Zohar

The prophet שמואל Shĕmuw'el (Samuel) is symbolic, and represents the beginnings of our work in initiation. This name means:

• fire ש + water + ו vav + El, "God" = fire of sex heats the sexual waters, causing the steam (transformed energy) to rise up the spine, in the presence of God

This is how the fire of pentacost reaches the brain, so that one can become an Apostle.

Samuel represents someone who is transmuting sexual energy, and awakening. This is how he becomes a prophet: with the light in his head, he can see what God shows him.

Samael can then lift the horn (sexual vessel) filled with shemen (sexual matter) to anoint the head (resh) of David, who later becomes King. David represents a later stage of spiritual development: the emergence of a Melech (King) in Malkuth.

"Then שמואל [Samuel] took the קרן qeren [horn] of שמן shemen ["oil"], and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the רוח Ruach of יהוה came upon David from that day forward."

David was an anointed Malachim, a king, and he was then the ruler of Israel, a symbol of all the parts of God within us.

This is how God "blows into the nostrils the breath of life."

So let us take care of our Resh and transform our oil.

Questions and Answers

Audience: You were talking about Adam and Eve and how Kabbalistically my understanding is that the shape of the fig leaf is very symbolic does not it have three petals. So would that represent the third triangle of hod, netzach and yesod and how Adam and Eve clothed themselves with a fig leave shows how those sephiroth where....

Instructor: Manifested

Audience: tainted or even manifested because so that how we describes the force coming into existence

Instructor: That symbol of the fig leaf has a lot of depth. The fig tree is a ficus, which is the same as the Bodhi tree under which the Buddha reached enlightenment. Bodhi is Sanskrit for "wisdom" or knowledge. Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge (Daath). So, here we see two uses of the same tree. The Buddha did not eat from the tree, yet Adam and Eve did. Behold the results!

When Adam and Eve took those leaves and clothed themselves, they were trying to hide something; this has a deep significance. The covering of the leaves is when the knowledge (Daath) was veiled; that leaf from the Bodhi tree is used to cover sex, to hide it; when Adam and Eve leave the garden, an Elohim guards the way back to the tree of life, but the tree of knowledge was hidden when they took that leaf and hid their sexuality. There a lot in this story that you could discover through meditation.

"'And they sewed fig leaves together' (Beresheet 3:7). From these words, we learn that they learned all types of magical spells and sorcery and that they cleaved onto the lower one..." - Zohar

Audience: You said that the alcohol and drugs destroy the fire and essence but in your opinion if a person were to change, in order for that change to happen, the Divine Mother has to repair the physical body, but must that happen first before she can go to the next level spiritually.

Instructor: The healing of the physical body happens in accordance to ones actions and ones karma. All of us are damaged; even someone who in this lifetime who has never had alcohol or drugs or had sex has a damaged physical body, because they inherited it through the fornication of their parents. All the physical bodies on this planet are impure and damaged.

The only pure physical body is one which has arisen through resurrection, and that is a very specific and difficult work that few accomplish, but it is possible. Jesus demonstrated it, as well as other masters, and Lamas from Tibet. It is possible to create a body of liberation or a body that does not come from the flesh of Adam. Before that, the physical body is impure and damaged,so we have to do the best with what we have. The healing of it is accordance to the law of karma, but some things will never be healed. Some things are to damaged; nevertheless, we have to do our best.

The fallacy is that we who claim to be spiritual continue to damage and degenerate our bodies, which is wrong, as we have to care for it. It says in the New Testament:

"Know ye not that your body is the temple of God and the spirit of God dweleth within you..."

Our bodies must be respected and cared for, and this why there are so many important factors in how we live our daily lives; a lot of it has to do with taking good care of the body. Harm to our body is harm to our spirit, and that is why there are certain things like alcohol, drugs, intoxicants, impure foods and other types of behaviors that we have to stop. This includes activities that some call spiritual; for example, self-flagellation, which some schools teach, to whip one's body, is wrong. Suicide is a terrible crime because it not only harms yourself and your development, but it also harms your Innermost who has been working hard to awaken you. Too much fasting is harmful. There are many so-called spiritual practices that actually harm the body.

One has to care for the body.

Audience: Why would the key of sexual magic be hidden from man if that is the only thing that would save them?

Instructor: Well, this is similar to if you had children, you need your children to be mature enough to handle the keys of the car, or a weapon. This knowledge is extremely potent and must be handled with a lot of attentiveness and care. Humanity has been grossly identified with sensation and desire. We have not demonstrated spiritual maturity; we still do not. Humanity is terribly immature spiritually. We are like raging children, killing each other over totally inconsequential things, illusions, and lies. How can we be trusted with knowledge that can be used to create a sun, a star? This is why it has been withheld: because we are not mature.

Unfortunately, we have become so immature that we have accelerated our karma, and we have created so much pain and pollution in the world, that it cannot be sustained any longer. This planet is devolving; this humanity is degenerating, and soon it will break. Soon the weight will be too great and everything that we see around us will be destroyed—not by the hand of God, but by ourselves! Thus because of that, out of compassion for us, this knowledge is now being taught openly and freely, so that anyone who chooses to revolutionize against their own tendencies and to make the attempt to escape the wheel of suffering can do so. That is why we teach you openly now. We do not withhold it, there is no time left.

Audience: The R mantra; does that relate to Resh? Resh is the head and it's to put fire in there.

Instructor: Absolutely. The letter R or the rolled rrrrrr is a mantra, a very potent sound, which as you mentioned, vibrates in the head, in the blood, in the energy, in the body, so that is a very important mantra. Many mantric phrases that we study contain that vowel (r) because of its potency, but it is something that is best studied through experience, to work with it, to practice it and then you will see.

Audience: When people, children and adults, what can they do when they have the natural sexual yearning to be a whole person again when we have all the different images around us, all the different lustful stuff is around them and they are in confusion and even with the Gnostic or religious side of things we say "I am not supposed to look at that person, I am not supposed to think these thoughts they are evil, this is sin." In both cases that is a confusion of what is the natural sexual yearning of ourselves. What can we do with that when there is so much confusion?

Instructor: It is not easy. As you explained, there are two extremes, where on one hand we are surrounded by sexual imagery everywhere and it is hard to avoid, and on the other hand we are told by religions to avoid sexuality and hide our eyes.

Remember that the Buddha taught "the middle path." The middle path is a path of cognizance of oneself.

There are three roots for all suffering: ignorance, craving, and aversion. Indulging in sexual imagery, fantasy, daydreaming, etc., is craving, desire. This happens because we are ignorant of the effect of the abuse of our sexual energy. Similarly, repression or avoidance of sexual imagery happens because we are ignorant of how to wisely utilize our sexual energy. Therefore, we need to neither avoid or indulge, but instead, we need to comprehend, to overcome ignorance, and in that way, we gain control over our sexual forces, rather than being controlled by them.

For example, if you are raising a child, you have to teach them to comprehend what they see, to understand, and not merely to imitate others. If your child sees an advertisement or something that is crude and they ask about it, you should explain what it means, what it is, why people are addicted to it and how that harms them; you should not avoid it.

Avoidance or aversion is a poison, because it only fuels ignorance and curiosity. Craving or indulgence is a poison because it fuels addiction and dependence, and wastes the energy we need for our spiritual life. Misunderstanding or lack of comprehension (ignorance) for any of us is a poison, when we do not understand something or we avoid it.

Comprehension is the middle way, and this is why in the book Fundamentals of Gnostic Education Samael Aun Weor wrote that we cannot solve the problems that we avoid. Repression is not the way. When we repress a desire, it only emerges stronger later.

"Among people, there exists a mistaken concept that states: the more we resist, the more we reject, the more and more comprehensible, free, complete, and victorious we become.

"People do not want to realize that the more we fight against something, the more we resist it, the more we reject it, the less is our comprehension.

"If we fight against the vice of drinking, this vice will disappear for a while, but since we have not comprehended it in depth within all of the levels of the mind, it will return later when we neglect our vigilance, thus, we will drink at once, and continue for a whole year.

"If we reject the vice of fornication, then in appearance we will be chaste for a while (even when in other levels of our mind we will continue to be frightening satyrs, as our erotic dreams with their nocturnal pollutions demonstrate), only to return with more strength to our old ways like unredeemable fornicators, due to the concrete fact of not having profoundly comprehended what fornication is." - Samael Aun Weor, Fundamentals of Gnostic Education

Anyone who has worked for a period of time in this teaching will know that is true, because there are many things that we see in ourselves that are too overwhelming, and we avoid things because we cannot comprehend it all, because we cannot digest it all, and what happens is that what we avoided comes back later but stronger.

The best thing to do is look square in the face of whatever arises in us and outside of us; look at everything, without attachment or repulsion, without craving or aversion, but to see everything for what it is.

This is the hardest to do with lust, because our ego is so quick to consume those images and make them a part of our mind. It is very hard to transform that. I had an experience with this one time, as its coming into my memory, when I was in the line in the grocery store some years ago. When you are in the line at the grocery store they have those racks of gossip magazines that they want everybody to buy, and unfortunately I happened to look down and see one, and there was some famous model in a bikini; I immediately looked away, and I thought that I had transformed that impression of that actress, because I did not continue thinking of it, nor did I think of it again the rest of the day. Yet, the image of that actress came to life in my dreams, and I had to deal with it there. That occured just from a brief instant in which I saw that image. It showed me how powerful those image are, and how much work we have to do to transform ourselves.

This same type of phenomena is happening to us all day, in relation to all of our defects—envy, anger, pride, etc.— but we are completely unaware of it; we are not conscious. We walk around, we look at things, we stand in line and we look at that magazine covers, and we may even pick it up and look at more pictures, and tell ourselves, "I am a Gnostic and I need to comprehend this." That is how we justify our indulgences. Do not lie to yourself like that. We need to comprehend, but act appropriately. This is a very difficult thing to do.

Another example would be, when you have a strong desire or tendency, repressing it is not a good solution. This something that you have to determine yourself; it does not mean that one should continue with that behavior—you should not indulge in it—but you must look at it and comprehend it; if you avoid it, it will come back stronger.

Samael gave the example of an alcoholic, someone who realizes they should not drink, and avoids going to the bar, they do not talk to their friends, and they may go for a year not drinking, and then one day, a certain impression comes into the mind and stimulates that desire again, so they go right back to drinking, picking up where they left off. Some friend may say, "It is just one drink." Or, "It is just a birthday party and we are going to have just a couple of drinks, just come and have fun, you do not have to get back into that." Just a taste of the impressions that stimulate the desire is enough to revive it, because during that whole year of so-called "abstinence," the person was merely repressing the desire, not comprehending it. That is the danger. When you stop a behavior and you try to change something, meditate, meditate, meditate, meditate! Continue to analyze it, without stopping. Just because a desire is quiet does not mean it is dead!

Through rigorous self-analysis and psychological balance is how you comprehend the causes of suffering, and that is how your Resh becomes filled with light: through comprehension.

What happens then? When you have true comprehension of something, the temptation will be gone. Completely gone.

If you are a glutton for hot dogs, and you love hotdogs, and you cannot avoid them, and if someone mentions them you go crazy, and that little stimulation is enough to bring a raging desire in your mind and you must get a hotdog... If you really comprehend that gluttony, you could be sitting in a field of hotdogs and you won't eat one, because you would know that you do not need all the sensations of the hot dog that you were addicted to. You are no longer a victim of that addiction. You see, it is not the hot dog that stimulates gluttony, it is our addiction to the many sensations of the hot dog, not only taste, but even emotional and mental sensations. The hotdog is not the problem; our mind is the problem. This is a crude example, and I am not saying you should give up eating hotdogs. I am saying when you have a desire that rules your energy and your mind, you know you have comprehended it when it does not attract you, when it does not disturb you, when your heart does not even flutter with desire. If you feel a flutter in your heart, the ego is still there. If you feel a twinge of temptation, the ego is still there, so meditate more.

Audience: Is it more useful to stop wrong action immediately or to gradually to wean away from it?

Instructor: In my opinion, you must be revolutionary; you must stop immediately. If you are sinking into quicksand, are you going to try and wait awhile to get out, or are you going to try and get out straight away? If you are falling off a cliff facing certain death, are you going to think about stopping your fall, or are you going to stop it? If a poisonous serpent is biting you, will you let it continue while you think about what to do, or do you get away from it immediately? We have to be severe, decisive, determined. We do not know how much poison we can handle before it kills us, so move quickly and decisively.

Samael Aun Weor told us we have to be bitter like the lemon. The lemon has a very strong defined flavour, it isn't wishy washy, it isn't vague, it is defined and sharp, and we need to be that way psychologically.

Audience: How do we open the mind in order to see the different levels?

Instructor: In order to see the different levels of the mind in mediation, one has to be continually and constantly in self-awareness throughout the day and night, and that is the entire basis of the method. If you are constantly from moment to moment, everyday, focused on paying attention to the present moment, being cognizant of yourself, and receiving all impressions with complete awareness of those impressions and of yourself, then mediation is easy. This is the problem: none of us do that. We may remember and observe ourselves in brief flashes, maybe for a minute, maybe for a few seconds, or maybe just a few times a day, but this is not enough.

When continuity of self-awareness has become established as our normal way of living, then when one meditates there is no difference in your consciousness between meditating and walking around. That is, attentiveness is constant, a defining characteristic. The only difference is that you close your eyes and you relax your body and you leave your body behind, and your conscious attentiveness goes out in order to go deep into self-analysis. That is how you enter into another level of the mind. In that way you escape the physical level, and likewise in works from level to level to level: as a consciousness, attentive, present.

This experience is not something vague. It is not something insubstantial, it is not something imaginary. It is real. Many people think that the levels of the mind are a metaphor or are something that one can theorize, so we get requests all the time, "Can we get diagram of the forty-nine levels of the mind?" Sorry, it does not work like that. If you want to experience those levels of the mind, awaken your consciousness and get out of that body, because that body is limiting you to seeing one level, that level of that body, and that is it. To see more, get out of that body and see another level, and from there successively one goes deeper.

In reality, the science that is embodies in this character of Resh is mediation. Master Samael said:

"Meditation is the esoteric practice of the Gnostics." - Samael Aun Weor

He did not say that sexual transmutation is the esoteric science, he said mediation is. Many people come to these studies really appreciating the beauty of the teachings about sexuality, and they are beautiful, but they are meaningless if one does not meditate, if one does not open one's own cognizance. There are many examples of Gnostics, Tantrics, Buddhists, Hindus, of Jewish practitioners who transmute their sexual energy, and yet become devils, because they do not have cognizance, because they do not meditate, or if they meditate, they meditate to fatten the "I," they meditate to build pride; this not the way.

The letter Resh is in the centre of the word Bara, "to create." In this word, there is no I, there is no ego, there are only holy letters that reflect the presence of God. For us to create in that way, we must be the same: only the presence of God within us. This why Buddha taught "Anatman," the doctrine of no-self. The Ruach Elohim within us does not have an "I," it is selfless, it is empty.

"The divine Being, the Monad, the Innermost, has nothing to do with any form of "I." [...] When the pluralized ego is dissolved, only the true Being remains within us." - Samael Aun Weor, Fundamentals of Gnostic Education

A Nephesh Chaiah has no ego, it only has the breath of God within, that presence which is beyond any type of I, it is complete Atman. The true Atman is Anatman. In Sanskrit, Atman means "self" but it is misunderstood. People think Atman means "me, I," even if they say it is the "divine I." This is wrong, as the true definition of Atman is the Absolute.

"Bliss is the essential nature of man. The central fact of man's being is his inherent divinity. Man's essential nature is divine, the awareness of which he has lost because of his animal propensities and the veil of ignorance. Man, in his ignorance, identifies himself with the body, mind, Prana and the senses. Transcending these, he becomes one with Brahman or the Absolute who is pure bliss. Brahman or the Absolute is the fullest reality, the completest consciousness. That beyond which there is nothing, that which is the innermost Self of all is Atman or Brahman. The Atman is the common Consciousness in all beings. A thief, a prostitute, a scavenger, a king, a rogue, a saint, a dog, a cat, a rat-all have the same common Atman. There is apparent, fictitious difference in bodies and minds only. There are differences in colours and opinions. But, the Atman is the same in all. If you are very rich, you can have a steamer, a train, an airship of your own for your own selfish interests. But, you cannot have an Atman of your own. The Atman is common to all. It is not an individual's sole registered property. The Atman is the one amidst the many. It is constant amidst the forms which come and go. It is the pure, absolute, essential Consciousness of all the conscious beings. The source of all life, the source of all knowledge is the Atman, thy innermost Self. This Atman or Supreme Soul is transcendent, inexpressible, uninferable, unthinkable, indescribable, the ever-peaceful, all-blissful. There is no difference between the Atman and bliss. The Atman is bliss itself. God, perfection, peace, immortality, bliss are one." - Swami Sivananda

In real Hinduism, Atman is Anatman, "no self." Buddha came to purge Hinduism of the false notion of self, he explained that the real Atman is Anatman. That is the teaching of the Buddha. The real self is a no self, it is the Absolute, it has no I, it is our inner Being who is impersonal and divine.

"While we have notions of selfhood we walk the path of error." - Samael Aun Weor

While we have a sense of self-esteem we are mistaken. All of us have self-esteem, so all of us are mistaken. We have to purge that from ourselves if we want to know divinity.

Audience: Could you spell again the Hebrew word for semen?

Instructor: Shemen or semen is spelled shin mem nun, and those letters reveal the meaning of it. What is Shin? Fire. What is Mem? Water. What is Nun? Christ. The seed, semen, is fire, water, and Christ.

Audience: There was the question about the levels of the mind and when Samael writing about his view of the ego he says something like I found a big fat a hairy ego. How deep is he into that ego that he is describing that?

Instructor: He is not in the physical world. Those egos that we need to find are in the depths of our mind. Those depths go very deep. In Kabbalah, we represent them as nine levels of the klipoth or the infernos. Those are our subconsciousness, unconsciousness, and infraconsciousness. There are symbolically nine, but in reality our mind has a vast complexity of depths. Furthermore, those levels, those depths, even once they are purged, there are other aspects of mind that have to be worked through.

So when he is talking about those levels where he sees the ego, he is referring to those levels of klipoth. Yet, even when you have purged a certain level and entered into a corresponding level of heaven, there is work to be done there as well, not with the ego, but with other aspects of the mind; this is related with a certain aspect of the Second Mountain.

The Second Mountain is long, painful, and difficult, a process where one descends to a depth, purifies it, and thereby gains access to a higher level and must work through that also; to comprehend it, to master it, is not easy.

Audience: So at that time has he already worked through that situation in which it was presented in and he is just in his meditation and he goes deeper into the different areas of the mind.

Instructor: It depends on the situation. From my own experience, I can tell you there are cases in which we may be working on an ego—physically, that ego may not be active, but internally that ego is active, and we all have that. Samael Aun Weor explained that his students were not aware that internally they were doing egotistical things; physically, they may not do those things, or have any idea they are capable of such actions, but internally they were doing it. We all have that.

So in meditation you may work on egos, or in the astral and mental plane you may work on egos that physically you do not see. They are not active physically, but internally they are active. The converse is also true. You may find that an ego is very active physically, but it is hard to find in the internal worlds, and this is the great challenge: to catch them. Once you catch them physically, then you can start catching them internally. Usually, when we cannot catch them, it is because we do not have a significant centre of gravity in the internal worlds; we have not developed enough consciousness, cognizance of that level. So we have to keep working.