I have this worry in myself.
I have started to realize my old adolescence dream. I have started to build my career in 3D Design/Modeling and Game Development. It is the only place where I really can realize myself as I am learning everything very fast. I did not had money and support to study in college/university nor I have passed all twelve classes in high school (I have passed only 10). I could not pass my school completely as I lived with my grand grandparents and my grand grandmother was dying, unable to move and almost blind with severe un-healing wounds on her legs because of diabetes so I had to take care of her. My grand grandfather could not take care of her (his wife) as he had bad mental state because of myocardial heart attack and stroke. He could walk and do everything pretty well and even he would be able to take care of my second mom (my grand grandmother), but because of his strong anger bursts caused by traumas and psychological pain because of the state of his wife he could not. And I was taking care of her as best as I could at my age of 15 (even it was a difficult age of revolutionary and freedom seeking nature). After she died I tried to attend two vocational schools were I would graduate high school classes at the same time, but after year in each school I could not. I could not find interest in the subjects I used to study and also could not find a peace and serenity in myself.
Well my life started to cripple year after year.
I had some interest, huge interests, in 3D modeling so I had it as a hobby.
And now after so much years of pain, of no peace and the jobs I could not bare and work because I could not like them I found a good place for internship of 3D Design. It is a very good opportunity. It seems like a gift from my Being. So I took this opportunity.
But also it is a burden.
While I study and am completing my internship I have no income, a huge debts and an upcoming child to raise. Thought I found peace and depression going away with this practice I do in 3D Design. All skills are like from God. I got understanding naturally of 3D modeling things and etc. I learn quickly and feel good. Many people have to learn 3D Modeling in University and pay much money. I don't have education and yet I got a gift of such things (even English language, it came to me naturally, I did not learn it at school too much at all).
Well after such lengthy introduction here is the question:
Is it right thing to do what I do? I basically create new world for people, an illusion. An illusion which gives people entertainment and also fascination thus making their consciousness more asleep.
Also I work on one project of virtual reality for medical purposes (physiotherapy). The concept is to stimulate positive stress for people after traumas, surgeries, etc. to help them to start walk and etc. emerging them into a virtual world (with special headset) were they would walk on bridge between two mountains or above waterfall and etc (they would walk physically in special room, but they would see virtual reality, an illusion).
So is it wrong? I have this big worry that my life dream would cause human beings to fall into deeper sleep.
Also I love video games (more virtual art of video game worlds, characters and etc) and I have a dream to design a good game and even I started to help in other game projects (also I work on a project of 3D Printing of video game characters).
So is it really wrong as I think? Having this thought is really painful as it is the only way that I can achieve something in my life with the karma I have at the moment. It is the only thing that I can do very well.
But it is just creating an illusion. It is just creating synthetic world for people to fascinate their minds (like a black magicians do in astral/mental planes).
What should I do? How wrong is it? Even if this is a great opportunity given by God (or maybe I just think so and in reality it is just another painful karma I must pay)? Should I take it and risk another few months of poverty and emotional pain and more un-payed debts (I could not really avoid it anyway thought)?
Any words would be grateful. I ask you for advice as a friend, as a brother, as a fellow human being in this chaotic world of painful karma.