If we intentionally contemplate an exact type of vice that we do not act on in our lives at all, or during trying to meditate, the mind jumps to a vice that has no manifesting behavior in our daily lives, does that mean we have that ego?
For example, we could contemplate the vice of using drugs, but those of us who do not use drugs and there is no possibility of us using drugs, because we could catch the mind thinking about using drugs, does that mean we have that type of ego?
Or, for a heterosexual person, if they choose to contemplate the vice of homosexuality, for comprehension, to help themselves and others understand, does having a vice in mind mean we have that ego? (even in the tiniest amount?)
Do people without ego think about vices? What I mean is, can we think about an ego we don't have and be free from it, or are we creating an ego by thinking about a vice?
Sometimes, very absurd, even terrifying thoughts come to mind, things we would never do, such as violence, or drug taking, or animalistic sexual behaviors and such, as the mind can be very creative with all sorts of evil...and every thought should be examined to find its origin.
Does imagination mean we have certain horrible egos?(ones we contemplate but do not act on)
Sometimes I feel that when I exert myself in mindfulness, always watching, the mind purposefully comes up with something terrible to disrupt me. This indicates certain egos we don't know we have?