1. Were/ are my ex-boyfriend and I married? We never had complete intercourse (I was mistaken on the meaning of virginity and am now paying with much pain for my ignorance) but we fornicated many times in other ways and one (or both?) of us may be negatively polarized. Do other sexual acts create a marriage?
2. We continued to see each other after we broke up. He left me initially because he wasn’t attracted to me, he said. Did he commit adultery when he stopped contact (sexual and emotional) with me for another girl he had romance/ passion for?
3. Is it adulterous of me to still love him even if he now has a girlfriend (possibly wife if they have connected)?
4. I do not/ never felt as much butterflies with him that I do with other men. But this is more than just platonic to me, and to him, too. He just said he felt MORE for the other girl. Are those physical feelings sexual affinity? Or are they lust? I do know, obviously, that we have had enough fire to spill the cup; could we have done the work together without that passion/ butterflies?
I see that now he has been following a spiritual path that he never even entertained when I would talk to him about it. It doesn’t feel fair that he can learn love and follow God because of a sexual chemistry. I could love him without it. Most of all, I’m afraid that he’s mistaken again and that what he feels is lust and that he would abandon God if they split up. Or even if they do stay together, it might all be superficial. I just don’t know if I should/ CAN move on. I want to be able to help him, however that may be. Even if I have to wait. Especially if he could be my twin flame.
I have read many lectures and threads regarding this topic. I don’t understand why he could find love (maybe?) after the hurt he put me through (or did I put myself through it? And he has nothing to do with it?) Wouldn’t he have to go through karma? Or was it a good deed and he payed his karma when he cut me off and stopped our fornication? We both seemed to have become closer to God after.
I also realize we took it too far and too fast because there WAS no love (love and lust are incompatible). But now I feel that I love him truly (I would never allow either of us to spill the cup, even if he begged) and I am scared that he could get hurt even more or that he could come back and I would have moved on.
I don’t feel that my efforts to meditate have been working lately and I just really don’t want to make a mistake. There is someone I feel sexual chemistry with but I don’t love (yet?). I would never have left my ex for him, though. I love my ex and sexual chemistry with someone else could never have gotten in the way of that. But now, I don’t know which one is lust. And I understand it is always possible to have one and not the other. A Perfect Matrimony requires both (love and sexual chemistry), one is not enough. But I believe we had enough to make the relationship work (and now, make sexual magic work). He didn’t. One of us or both of us is confused and I want it to stop.
I had comprehended some of it, or so I thought. It doesn’t feel fair, even if I have forgiven it (I understand he was confused with me or her and that without love, we are bound to make mistakes). I understand what not to do in the future regarding sex and relationships (eg. rushing, fornicating). But with new understandings and both of us changing, I feel that I’m in a dilemma. I could guide him now, whereas before I was a mess. Or maybe he’s already guiding me. It just looks like I’m paying for it and he doesn’t seem to be. I’m confused on what is fair. And I wonder if I’m the only one making mistakes if I’m the only one suffering. If I don’t comprehend this now it will continue forever and I don’t want that. I understand I must comprehend this fully myself but any help will be appreciated. I’m honestly afraid for both of us. I do not want to cause more karma.
At the end of the day, I just want what will be good for him and everyone. Even if that means letting go. But I don’t know if that will be worse.
Thank you for everything.
2. We continued to see each other after we broke up. He left me initially because he wasn’t attracted to me, he said. Did he commit adultery when he stopped contact (sexual and emotional) with me for another girl he had romance/ passion for?
3. Is it adulterous of me to still love him even if he now has a girlfriend (possibly wife if they have connected)?
4. I do not/ never felt as much butterflies with him that I do with other men. But this is more than just platonic to me, and to him, too. He just said he felt MORE for the other girl. Are those physical feelings sexual affinity? Or are they lust? I do know, obviously, that we have had enough fire to spill the cup; could we have done the work together without that passion/ butterflies?
I see that now he has been following a spiritual path that he never even entertained when I would talk to him about it. It doesn’t feel fair that he can learn love and follow God because of a sexual chemistry. I could love him without it. Most of all, I’m afraid that he’s mistaken again and that what he feels is lust and that he would abandon God if they split up. Or even if they do stay together, it might all be superficial. I just don’t know if I should/ CAN move on. I want to be able to help him, however that may be. Even if I have to wait. Especially if he could be my twin flame.
I have read many lectures and threads regarding this topic. I don’t understand why he could find love (maybe?) after the hurt he put me through (or did I put myself through it? And he has nothing to do with it?) Wouldn’t he have to go through karma? Or was it a good deed and he payed his karma when he cut me off and stopped our fornication? We both seemed to have become closer to God after.
I also realize we took it too far and too fast because there WAS no love (love and lust are incompatible). But now I feel that I love him truly (I would never allow either of us to spill the cup, even if he begged) and I am scared that he could get hurt even more or that he could come back and I would have moved on.
I don’t feel that my efforts to meditate have been working lately and I just really don’t want to make a mistake. There is someone I feel sexual chemistry with but I don’t love (yet?). I would never have left my ex for him, though. I love my ex and sexual chemistry with someone else could never have gotten in the way of that. But now, I don’t know which one is lust. And I understand it is always possible to have one and not the other. A Perfect Matrimony requires both (love and sexual chemistry), one is not enough. But I believe we had enough to make the relationship work (and now, make sexual magic work). He didn’t. One of us or both of us is confused and I want it to stop.
I had comprehended some of it, or so I thought. It doesn’t feel fair, even if I have forgiven it (I understand he was confused with me or her and that without love, we are bound to make mistakes). I understand what not to do in the future regarding sex and relationships (eg. rushing, fornicating). But with new understandings and both of us changing, I feel that I’m in a dilemma. I could guide him now, whereas before I was a mess. Or maybe he’s already guiding me. It just looks like I’m paying for it and he doesn’t seem to be. I’m confused on what is fair. And I wonder if I’m the only one making mistakes if I’m the only one suffering. If I don’t comprehend this now it will continue forever and I don’t want that. I understand I must comprehend this fully myself but any help will be appreciated. I’m honestly afraid for both of us. I do not want to cause more karma.
At the end of the day, I just want what will be good for him and everyone. Even if that means letting go. But I don’t know if that will be worse.
Thank you for everything.
Gratitude07
updated the category from
Questions and Answers with Instructors to
Questions and Answers with Instructors — 3 days ago
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