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  Thursday, 08 February 2024
  3 Replies
  649 Visits
What if my spouse has been told the importance but doesn’t see the value or point of it? I figured it would only hurt us to engage in transmutation, so I disengaged with them. Was this the correct action or am I supposed to transmute in the act by myself without them needing to do the same?

I don’t want to fornicate, but they don’t see the spiritual value of it or care for that matter. So I’ve been focusing more on pranayama even though I’m married. Is this the correct course of action?
5 months ago
You need to reflect upon yourself and the dynamic of your marriage. It might be that you need a pause and that your partner may respect that. In other cases it might drive your partner away to avoid sex altogether.

You do not need to cease sexual relations if your partner is not interested in transmutation. You can still practice in silence. It is difficult, but many learn how to do it. Your karma is your own and only your Being can navigate that for you. Rely on Him.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

5 months ago
I have a related question regarding practicing in silence for those married to a non-Gnostic. How can one practice in silence if one's spouse wants to engage in non-upright sexual acts during sex? Common sexuality understands a lot of actions as normal, expected parts of sexual intimacy: mutual masturbation, oral sex, etc.

I've found this to be a source of incredible difficulty and pain in my own marriage. My spouse feels unsure what is "permissible" for me, and feels tentative and limited, and simultaneously wants to respect my wishes but also feels a profound loss. So when I attempt to practice in silence, it's clearly not silent since he is aware I don't want to do "everything." It's led to me engaging in intimacy in a distanced and predictable way, in spite of efforts to be present and loving.

Any guidance appreciated, especially for those struggling to know their own Being's will. (Most of us, I imagine. <3)
Almustafa selected the reply #30445 as the answer for this post — 4 months ago
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