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  Wednesday, 03 January 2024
  3 Replies
  395 Visits

In the past couple of years, I have worked with Sol Key and other practices and have achieved some results. Negative emotions have been dominated to a degree but my mind is still in shambles. The problem is that my sol key is mixed. There is some level of self-remembrance, observation, and discernment of location, but it also has mental exertion as well. This has created many problems and has made me unfunctional physically, where I can't even concentrate on basic things, although I may achieve higher states with meditation when I go lucid in a dream. My mind has been severely damaged by this exertion which has created much repression. Giving up and starting over has created many emotional releases.

Since I have not closely followed the teachings, and have done my own thing, things are not organized in the way they should be. I have steps 4,5,6 partly developed, but not steps 1, 2, and 3. In fact, I am even missing step 0, being a normal function intellectional animal. I seem to have become worse at being in the physical than the average person. My mind has been severely damaged and has become extremely fanatical, lunatical, and whimsical. The three brains are imbalanced so I have refrained from studying more and instead am developing the emotional and physical brains. I have also refrained from doing the amount of practices I was doing because they were too advanced. If I can't even control my mind, then what am I doing? Basically the only practice I do now is the eucharist, a little bit of meditation, and pranayama. No runes, conjurations, exorcisms, excessive incense, protective items (mustard seeds, tons of pentagrams), excessive altar items, etc. Focusing on being normal again has had great benefits but I know if I could easily fall into the other extreme where I go into the devolving flow with the rest of this humanity. It is urgent that I psychologically die as soon as possible and it seems hard to get ahead with the very frequent nocturnal pollutions.

Would it be recommended to start over and learn the basics from scratch and work my way up?

Or would it be better to bridge the two?

In either way, meditation and normalcy is the key. Let me know what I should do.

Edit: Runes are helpful for key of SOL (the force guides you)
1 month ago
Our inner and outer life must be balanced. It is not healthy to isolate and be so introspective that you lose touch with reality. It is also not good to exclusively live a superficial life of extemporaneous activities, dedicated solely to the excursions of worldly materiality.

Continue practicing meditation, but also dedicate yourself to having a social life. A meditative life without social interaction can border on insanity, while a worldly life without some grounding in practice is shallow and stale. Finding a middle ground is the key.

Also, abandoning life is not healthy or spiritually practical, since we need to know how to be in the world so as to optimally and efficiently transform ourselves. We cannot discover who we are without the mirror of interrelationships.

The following lecture addresses this problem and provides some solutions for how the bridge the gap between internal states and external events. Let us know if it addresses and helps you.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

1 month ago
Also, Chicago Gnosis provided some tips for overcoming lust and the effects / causes of nocturnal pollutions:

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

ManifestationoftheOne marked this post as Resolved — 1 month ago
The lecture didn't do much for me but your response is completely correct. I was going too hard on the spiritual and too little on the material. Then I went too hard on material and too little on spiritual. The middle is needed.

Also going too hard on spiritual and continually forcing more is like like pouring too much water in a cup at once; no water will get into the cup. Or the cup will break.
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