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  • 7 years of madness, loss of fear, gnosis, unbalanced forces, and possession.
  Friday, 28 December 2012
  1 Replies
  1.5K Visits
I have tried on my own for so long, it came out of nothing, it calls it self nothing and it's broke me down; cleansed and consecrated by the unconscious spun hallucination, madness, gnosis, abandonment, temptation, restriction and chaos. I have been eccentric all my life, studying art, music, drugs, religion and gnosis. I've always been depressed with chronic fatigue. So I turned to opiates and amphetamines in order to have a social life and work. About two years before this all began, in such a way that it manifested any noticeable problems besides dealing with bouts of chronic depression. I had an experience of ego death and OBE/NDE what I have now found to be a symbolic sort of Cabalistic vision foreshadowing the past seven years. In this time I've also died or came close to death at least 4 maybe 5 times. Yet, I haven't been taken. I started hearing voices a couple years after the experience, at the time I was off heroin and going to a methadone clinic. Where I may have become victim of some sort of attachment. My ego couldn't comprehend what was going on, plus they were always whispers of female voices sounding like neighbors spying on me. I grew increasingly paranoid, till my consensus reasoning shattered and I knew that I was either being attacked or toyed with by what seems to be 3 self transforming shape shifting beings I came in contact with during the NDE: my prologue into Thanatos. During the NDE I experienced what can only be described as Kether, the initial swirling of the 2,3 and 4. Duality is dual anyways, fractal existance of personal seemingly mundane events seemingly in sequence, all is polar yet where does one pole end and the other begin, and after all and life is a deocil centripetal spiral outward into gnosis. For those with the aspiration to continue and to be chosen, even if it is beyond a curse. I experienced being one with all that WAS supposed to be. The prima materia, without dross. Yet before I reached this smooth point, I was for the most part accelerating through sexual, beyond bizarre, twisting of things I wasn't aware one could perceive, violent execution and torture. Till it was all relieved, then I awoke in a hospital with extremely realistic, almost holographic hallucinations all around the room. They said it was because of my birthday, the First of May. I also had a previous spontaneous panic attack where my whole vision was covered in ivy and in the hospital bed it twisted between the metal frame of the practical board and I was in the primal forest. The nicknames of Fawn and Pan have stuck since then. The next two years were quiet, but in the last 7 years I've had incessant symbolic voices very angry in tone almost chaotic. I have notebook upon notebook of automatic writings and deciphering of these seemingly meaningless attacks that I've tried to integrate and look deep into myself to find what's true. I then began my studies of myth, ritual, mysteries, science, geometry, qabbalah, magick, tarot, yoga and just about everything I find is a piece of the puzzle. It still continues and yet now my ritual effectiveness and prayer have been seemingly blocked by either an etheric astral entity or a being who I've had speaking through my mouth and controlling some of my actions, fully awake and aware. Even to the point of being able to know when I'm being manipulated and what thoughts are mine. I symbolize it as a KAKO DIAMONOS or evil genius adverse to my higher genius or a possessing entity controlling my prayer, ritual, tarot and any outside help. I've had a whole house hold turn on me, like they were possessed perhaps the same reason every single friend of mine abandoned me all at once, even ones who had no knowledge or contact with the others. It's gone from dehabilitating hallucinations, discomfort and isolation to now feeling much better and gifted with specific abilities yet my world is alive with synchronicities, I see the symbols in everything. Yet the adversarial attacks from all sides it seems still stand. Perhaps it must be, since the forces are being obscured from calls. I'm not insane, while reading this be mindful of what are your thoughts and what are thoughts being pushed upon you. I know more than I'm telling for the sake of continuing on this path, since I've out lasted my own ability for fear and my aspiration still stands strong, yet today I started to lose hope. Yet did not the ancient mysteries receive their gnosis from hades and the like? Is not pain purgation of the soul? Do not the unbalanced forces often work in the favor of gnosis regardless of their motives if the initiate stays his course and does her all to remain in the light of the path to gnosis? I don't know if anyone can shed light on this, but I'm in dire need of removing my shackles of bondage. May ADNI save my soul in the name of IAO!

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9 years ago
·
#2772
Accepted Answer
People who are labeled "mentally ill" tend to be very clairvoyant; the problem is that they do not know how to control their clairvoyant perceptions. And what is most unfortunate about such people is that they commonly assert their hallucinations as reality, convinced of their infallibility even when all facts point towards their evident psychic imbalance.

Let us remember that there are two principal types of occult perception: the objective and subjective. When a person is a victim of subjective clairvoyant perceptions, they cannot control their visions and may very well end up in the hospital due to delirium. An external sign of people with conscious clairvoyance is the outward disposition of harmony, reason and spiritual discipline. Their external life is a profound reflection of their harmonious inner life. Such individuals can control their visions at will and are not victims of what they see. They would never end up in the hospital, because they know how to direct their conscious perceptions in natural and balanced way. These people posses what we call in Gnosis psychological equilibrium.

Therefore, we invite you to seriously reflect on your experiences and to judge without prejudice whether your perceptions are genuine. We know from occultism that 97% of our consciousness is trapped in the ego. This indicates that we are very easily prone to deception and illusion, so when it comes to clairvoyant perceptions, we must possess the utmost prudence, self-restraint and scientific analysis. We must be studious and cultured about the different world scriptures and possess a profound knowledge of ourselves, as Samael Aun Weor indicates in the latter half of Endocrinology and Criminology.

For many in this age of Kali Yuga, to be mystical is to be insane in thought, word and deed, since the line between objective and subjective perception is delicate and fine. While Gnosis is about the abandonment of intellectualism, it does not mean we throw out our common sense. Therefore, the clairvoyant human being must not make the mistake of Don Quixote, of talking too much about clairvoyant perceptions while being mentally imbalanced, since such a person can easily be incarcerated within a hospital if the individual lacks prudence.

By my explanations in this post, I am not pointing my finger at you. What I am recommending for you is to be careful with your mind and health, since these are essential to having a successful spiritual life. I would suggest you work with the mantra of healing from Esoteric Medicine and Practical Magic, S M HON, described in the attached reference to this post. Search for the mantra in the section entitled, "Sicknesses of the Mental Body." This mantra has the power to heal the mind from past traumas, whether through drugs, fornication and intellectual abuse.

May the most profound peace reign in your heart, and may your mind be illuminated by Christ, our Lord!

Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.

Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"

9 years ago
·
#2772
Accepted Answer
People who are labeled "mentally ill" tend to be very clairvoyant; the problem is that they do not know how to control their clairvoyant perceptions. And what is most unfortunate about such people is that they commonly assert their hallucinations as reality, convinced of their infallibility even when all facts point towards their evident psychic imbalance.

Let us remember that there are two principal types of occult perception: the objective and subjective. When a person is a victim of subjective clairvoyant perceptions, they cannot control their visions and may very well end up in the hospital due to delirium. An external sign of people with conscious clairvoyance is the outward disposition of harmony, reason and spiritual discipline. Their external life is a profound reflection of their harmonious inner life. Such individuals can control their visions at will and are not victims of what they see. They would never end up in the hospital, because they know how to direct their conscious perceptions in natural and balanced way. These people posses what we call in Gnosis psychological equilibrium.

Therefore, we invite you to seriously reflect on your experiences and to judge without prejudice whether your perceptions are genuine. We know from occultism that 97% of our consciousness is trapped in the ego. This indicates that we are very easily prone to deception and illusion, so when it comes to clairvoyant perceptions, we must possess the utmost prudence, self-restraint and scientific analysis. We must be studious and cultured about the different world scriptures and possess a profound knowledge of ourselves, as Samael Aun Weor indicates in the latter half of Endocrinology and Criminology.

For many in this age of Kali Yuga, to be mystical is to be insane in thought, word and deed, since the line between objective and subjective perception is delicate and fine. While Gnosis is about the abandonment of intellectualism, it does not mean we throw out our common sense. Therefore, the clairvoyant human being must not make the mistake of Don Quixote, of talking too much about clairvoyant perceptions while being mentally imbalanced, since such a person can easily be incarcerated within a hospital if the individual lacks prudence.

By my explanations in this post, I am not pointing my finger at you. What I am recommending for you is to be careful with your mind and health, since these are essential to having a successful spiritual life. I would suggest you work with the mantra of healing from Esoteric Medicine and Practical Magic, S M HON, described in the attached reference to this post. Search for the mantra in the section entitled, "Sicknesses of the Mental Body." This mantra has the power to heal the mind from past traumas, whether through drugs, fornication and intellectual abuse.

May the most profound peace reign in your heart, and may your mind be illuminated by Christ, our Lord!

Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.

Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"

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