I just wanted to encourage everyone who read this to not give up.
If you fail keep trying again.
We all grow in baby steps and like a baby we all have growing pains.
I was trying to figure out a new way to see life… Because I keep failing… I had a feeling that if I can see the world from within a spiritual context then I can understand it overcome a large part of the cause of my lust. I really didn’t (and still don’t) understand what sexual energy and ego is and also what the internal dimensions of this planet is. But thanks to an experience; I woke up and could momentarily control myself by desire or will, not sure really, probably a gift from my good god. I looked at my hand and it was fluid like so then I jumped up and started to fly. That world was more real then this world and I thought wow now I see how people can work and study in the internal world. And later that night I had another experience, but I was unable to be reasonable enough to question my surrounds, and didn’t really have the willpower developed enough to talk to the people who were dressed as trees in this pacific island temple courtyard … but I was there just sort of staring!!
And it made me realize so much about the nature of the world, which sexual energy and the ego are very intelligently and exactly part of the nature of this world with reason. And I think it is very important to understand ( for me and I also think for another ). So I will link two lectures that I think really explain it. Hope this will help someone get some clarity like it helped me.