Wednesday, 02 February 2022
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I am having a trial in my life that FEELS like I’m going to die… it is a roller coaster of defects… I just try to remember that god doesn’t abandon anyone ever!! ( hallelujah ) I have no clue what to do and the realization that if I act on my defects, I will make my situation worse, terrifies me ( …another defect) on a level I have not yet known. Makes me wish, that when things were going good I didn’t stray from the path! ( good advice right there for others. Take advantage of peaceful moments, practice when things are going good so that when you are facing a real trial you have a solid foundation to work on) personally, I wish I hadn’t squandered my stone and was like Theseus holding the mast of his ship during turbulent waters. But it is nothing compared to others. It is nothing compared to something like a war, like the Holocaust. I just wonder how people manage to face their defects during an ordeal such as war or with a serious disease? Any Gnostics who took advantage of such a situation… my hat goes off to you!! It reminds me of ( i can’t remember the book) when samael chose the direct path the guardian said something like what are you CRAZY no one does that!!! ( and also in the pistis sophia when the universe the was created, the gods were lamenting, and the intelligence of absolute would occasionally stop and address the gods and show them the karma of past ages! ) Now I see the level of (karma) pain, and how it’s tailored to each individual. I see how black magic is done too ( going through terrible sufferings to eventually go through ‘terrible’ pleasure… I prefer the middle, I prefer peace) I made the suffering of the direct path seem childish when in truth to me now seems like the most respectable thing a person can do.

And as always thank you. it’s mostly a moot point to express the gratitude. ;) Thank you so much for taking the time to do all of this…facing your own trials and finding time to help me and others helps us all grow and it inspires me to do the same! I have been leaning, so much, on what I have learned from these teachings. it has been invaluable!
6 months ago
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#26982
Accepted Answer
Ordeals are conquered by awakening the consciousness through meditation.

Are you having suicidal thoughts? This forum is not staffed by instructors 24/7. You can call the following hotline:

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

6 months ago
·
#26982
Accepted Answer
Ordeals are conquered by awakening the consciousness through meditation.

Are you having suicidal thoughts? This forum is not staffed by instructors 24/7. You can call the following hotline:

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

No. I found an inner strength that I never knew I had and a direction in life that i didn’t see before.
Almustafa selected the reply #26982 as the answer for this post — 6 months ago
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