Before taking up the gnostic disciplines (transmutation, meditation, self observation, etc) I had quite a few lucid dreams and astral experiences, even from an early age, so this subject is something I have already experienced. But now, I have noticed only lots of confused and identified dreams, and a resounding lack of lucid experiences. I am not saying the gnostic discipline is causing this in the slightest, nor am I meaning to be impatient, I am just setting this up for the following question. I noticed I am often dreaming that I am self observing, but I am just thinking.
In the most recent dream I had, I was dreaming of a chicagognosis lecturer give a lecture about sufism and self observation, and he was explaining nonsense. And I responded to what he was saying by thinking about it, which altered the dream in strange/abstract ways. (I am not asking for an interpretation, this is just an example).
This dream is just one of many instances where I am identified and engaged in a pseudo-self observation. I understand this indicates I am not self observing properly during the day, which is a state I still struggle to really understand. I am preforming transmutation consistently, meditation, rites of rejuvenation, studying various lectures and scriptures, runes, (there was a short break recently due to a lack of willpower), and praying many times throughout the day.
I suppose I am writing this so I can see if I am lacking anything in this practice, so as to really self observe properly. I have intensely abused the intellectual center throughout my life, living every second without pause fantasizing and over-rationalizing, so I think this to be the cause of the difficulty to really step outside my mind. I am a degenerated person. Throughout the day I am never fantasizing or on “auto-pilot,” but my mind goes on and on without end, while I am always attempting to redirect awareness and stay conscious. But actively observing it is something difficult to comprehend, as I struggle just to be aware of my body and surroundings everyday and not be identified with thinking. My meditations are something similar: I never or maybe briefly forget I am meditating, but my mind chatters 100% of the time and I always slip up into thinking about the object of meditation, before pulling myself back and concentrating.
I have known about these these teachings for quite some time, but only have been really practicing for almost one month. I understand time is not relevant in radical transformation, nonetheless, I write this so the instructors may better understand.
I understand self observation is the basic practice, and considering in this life we do not have much time at all, that it still alludes me is disappointing and saddening. Is there something I am missing? If I am doing it right, do let me know
All advice is tremendously appreciated
In the most recent dream I had, I was dreaming of a chicagognosis lecturer give a lecture about sufism and self observation, and he was explaining nonsense. And I responded to what he was saying by thinking about it, which altered the dream in strange/abstract ways. (I am not asking for an interpretation, this is just an example).
This dream is just one of many instances where I am identified and engaged in a pseudo-self observation. I understand this indicates I am not self observing properly during the day, which is a state I still struggle to really understand. I am preforming transmutation consistently, meditation, rites of rejuvenation, studying various lectures and scriptures, runes, (there was a short break recently due to a lack of willpower), and praying many times throughout the day.
I suppose I am writing this so I can see if I am lacking anything in this practice, so as to really self observe properly. I have intensely abused the intellectual center throughout my life, living every second without pause fantasizing and over-rationalizing, so I think this to be the cause of the difficulty to really step outside my mind. I am a degenerated person. Throughout the day I am never fantasizing or on “auto-pilot,” but my mind goes on and on without end, while I am always attempting to redirect awareness and stay conscious. But actively observing it is something difficult to comprehend, as I struggle just to be aware of my body and surroundings everyday and not be identified with thinking. My meditations are something similar: I never or maybe briefly forget I am meditating, but my mind chatters 100% of the time and I always slip up into thinking about the object of meditation, before pulling myself back and concentrating.
I have known about these these teachings for quite some time, but only have been really practicing for almost one month. I understand time is not relevant in radical transformation, nonetheless, I write this so the instructors may better understand.
I understand self observation is the basic practice, and considering in this life we do not have much time at all, that it still alludes me is disappointing and saddening. Is there something I am missing? If I am doing it right, do let me know
All advice is tremendously appreciated 
Accepted Answer
Do not be discouraged. You are beginning to perceive the reality of your subconsciousness. Whenever we truly practice, we begin to awaken and see the conditioned state of our mind.
Thinking is not concentration or meditation. If you get distracted by thoughts, develop the beginning stages of serenity and deepen it through discipline.
It is not enough to self-observe. You must remember your Being!
Thinking is not concentration or meditation. If you get distracted by thoughts, develop the beginning stages of serenity and deepen it through discipline.
It is not enough to self-observe. You must remember your Being!
To observe oneself is a process of these three factors as well. When we observe ourselves with the consciousness, we are opening a channel, a connection, in ourselves, to perceive without illusion. But that perception is a force of will. It cannot happen if we are passive. It cannot happen if we have a mechanical routine.
Many people think self-observation is a mechanical routine, a repetition of particular steps that they keep repeating. It is not. Self-observation is an active, highly dynamic, highly flexible, spontaneous, intuitive process that constantly changes. This is because we ourselves are constantly changing, and if we form a routine, a mechanical process of observing ourselves, then we become mechanical, and the consciousness is not mechanical.
In self-observation we have birth, we have death, and we have sacrifice, but to really open up comprehension we have to also have self-remembering. To remember the Self is to remember our own Inner God from moment to moment; to remember our Divine Mother from instant to instant; to always be aware that in the heart of all of our atoms, all of our molecules, all of our cells, all of our organs, is an animating fire, our Divine Mother, our Inner Being. The remembrance of God opens us to receive the guidance of God, which comes through Neshamah.
If we do not remember ourselves, if we do not remember our God, then who is influencing us? If we do not remember our Inner Being, what will is pushing us?
We have to learn to self-observe-this is clear in Gnosis- to learn to observe the self, to observe the mind, to observe our actions. But who is guiding the observation of ourselves if we don't remember our true selves: our own inner Being?
Gnostic students who learn to self-observe need to learn to combine self-observation with self-remembering, and this is an ongoing act of will from moment to moment. Self-remembering and self-observation have in their heart the recognition of impermanence of oneself, the recognition that all of this that I think that I am is constantly changing, and I as I am cannot change for the better without God, without the influence of my own, inner, Divine Mother.
We enter into arrogance when we try to change without the help of God. We enter into pride when we try to change on our own. We have to appeal to our own, inner, Divine Mother, the root of every life form, the root of every force and power which sanctifies the soul. -Gnostic Instructor, The Empress
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Accepted Answer
Do not be discouraged. You are beginning to perceive the reality of your subconsciousness. Whenever we truly practice, we begin to awaken and see the conditioned state of our mind.
Thinking is not concentration or meditation. If you get distracted by thoughts, develop the beginning stages of serenity and deepen it through discipline.
It is not enough to self-observe. You must remember your Being!
Thinking is not concentration or meditation. If you get distracted by thoughts, develop the beginning stages of serenity and deepen it through discipline.
It is not enough to self-observe. You must remember your Being!
To observe oneself is a process of these three factors as well. When we observe ourselves with the consciousness, we are opening a channel, a connection, in ourselves, to perceive without illusion. But that perception is a force of will. It cannot happen if we are passive. It cannot happen if we have a mechanical routine.
Many people think self-observation is a mechanical routine, a repetition of particular steps that they keep repeating. It is not. Self-observation is an active, highly dynamic, highly flexible, spontaneous, intuitive process that constantly changes. This is because we ourselves are constantly changing, and if we form a routine, a mechanical process of observing ourselves, then we become mechanical, and the consciousness is not mechanical.
In self-observation we have birth, we have death, and we have sacrifice, but to really open up comprehension we have to also have self-remembering. To remember the Self is to remember our own Inner God from moment to moment; to remember our Divine Mother from instant to instant; to always be aware that in the heart of all of our atoms, all of our molecules, all of our cells, all of our organs, is an animating fire, our Divine Mother, our Inner Being. The remembrance of God opens us to receive the guidance of God, which comes through Neshamah.
If we do not remember ourselves, if we do not remember our God, then who is influencing us? If we do not remember our Inner Being, what will is pushing us?
We have to learn to self-observe-this is clear in Gnosis- to learn to observe the self, to observe the mind, to observe our actions. But who is guiding the observation of ourselves if we don't remember our true selves: our own inner Being?
Gnostic students who learn to self-observe need to learn to combine self-observation with self-remembering, and this is an ongoing act of will from moment to moment. Self-remembering and self-observation have in their heart the recognition of impermanence of oneself, the recognition that all of this that I think that I am is constantly changing, and I as I am cannot change for the better without God, without the influence of my own, inner, Divine Mother.
We enter into arrogance when we try to change without the help of God. We enter into pride when we try to change on our own. We have to appeal to our own, inner, Divine Mother, the root of every life form, the root of every force and power which sanctifies the soul. -Gnostic Instructor, The Empress
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Thank you for the encouraging reply. I will study your response and references. Praise be to Allah, may he have mercy on us and guide us all.
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