Firstly, id like to preface by saying that this is the type of thing i should ask a therapist or psychiatrist, I recognize that. But the reason why im asking my gurus is because i realized that i am constantly thinking about sex.
Secondly, its not like i dont practice any rituals or have any hobbies, this is simply an intrinsic part of my psychology that i need help understanding to further my spiritual progress.
Ever since discovering the gnostic path, and somewhat before then, sex has always been an elusive mystery to me. Its part of the reason ive been wrestling with porn addiction for a while. Whats truly striking is that I dont even have a partner, and I have never had sex before. Why is sex such a highly enticing concept for me? It goes beyond physical attraction, i can be totally unlustful and have an adoration for sex. It confuses me.
My main question is -
Am I doing myself any favours by prioritizing sexual matters 24/7?
These thoughts range in ethical purity by the way, sometimes they are horrid thoughts full of lust, sometimes they are pure contemplations with no imagery whatsoever. But everday, its always about sex for me. In the back of my mind, sex is always there.