Wednesday, 04 January 2012
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For about the past year or so I have had literally no interest in anything. I'm normally a person given to diversions. But I could just sit in a chair endlessly. I've lost a strong desire for almost anything related to my personality. I have to force myself to tend my business, force myself to read a book, force myself to excercise, etc. It seems like it could be laziness, but it goes far beyond that, and does not include lack of personal hygiene or anything like that... I'm not suicidal, and I don't feel 'depressed' in the regular sense of the word.

It all seems to coincide with when I realized that no amount of intellectual learning was ever going to give me spiritual experience. Seeing progress through meditation is about the only thing I have any desire for now.

Is this something that occurs as you dissolve the 'I'? Or am I just having a mid life crisis? What troubles me is that as this sense of self starts to dissolve, I don't feel any obvious re-filling of that emptiness. I long for communion with my being, but it's not tangible yet.

Thanks for the consideration.
10 years ago
You can communicate with your being. Do the practices. Runes. Tibetan Exercises. Dream Yoga. Self-observation. Inner Self Remembering. Use the secret mantras. Pray. Ask for assistance.

Besides, who is the one that is suffering? What "I" is suffering? Happiness is all around you and within you too.
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