Greetings. First of all, I want to thank all who contribute to this wonderful site. It's been a great inspiration for me to change. I had heard about Gnosis a while back but never got serious about it until recently.
For the past two months, I have had my ups and downs. I am working on ethics and trying to stop harmful activities. I'm also learning how to pay attention and self-observe. However, I seem to have a major obstacle when I place awareness on my body and I'm at a loss on what to do. For about 7 years, I developed what I would classify as a minor tic or twitch in my neck, where my neck will spontaneously jerk from side to side for a moment (sort of a quick tremble) and will return every so often. The interesting thing is that it only happens when I pay attention to my body and I am completely still (some refer to this as "akathisia" but I believe my problem is more psychological). If I am moving, such as going for a walk, I can retain mindfulness and observation much more easily. The same goes for any motor activity such as driving or riding in a car. If the car is in motion, I can focus on what I'm doing and my body very well, but when I am at a stop sign or red light, the tension instantly returns and I get a neck spasm (again, only if I am trying to observe myself; if I forget myself or that I should be trying to observe and my mind is distracted, no spasm occurs). I feel this cripples my ability to pay attention or make any progress and so I decided that I would finally make a post about it.
Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? The problem itself seems silly especially if it is psychological, but unfortunately it is a major obstacle for me right now and disturbs my meditation and observation practices. It is also really noticeable in public and has been a source of great frustration and anxiety in the past. I realize that part of the problem might be that I'm giving the disturbance more energy by thinking about it, but I don't really know how to not do so. Thanks for any help.
For the past two months, I have had my ups and downs. I am working on ethics and trying to stop harmful activities. I'm also learning how to pay attention and self-observe. However, I seem to have a major obstacle when I place awareness on my body and I'm at a loss on what to do. For about 7 years, I developed what I would classify as a minor tic or twitch in my neck, where my neck will spontaneously jerk from side to side for a moment (sort of a quick tremble) and will return every so often. The interesting thing is that it only happens when I pay attention to my body and I am completely still (some refer to this as "akathisia" but I believe my problem is more psychological). If I am moving, such as going for a walk, I can retain mindfulness and observation much more easily. The same goes for any motor activity such as driving or riding in a car. If the car is in motion, I can focus on what I'm doing and my body very well, but when I am at a stop sign or red light, the tension instantly returns and I get a neck spasm (again, only if I am trying to observe myself; if I forget myself or that I should be trying to observe and my mind is distracted, no spasm occurs). I feel this cripples my ability to pay attention or make any progress and so I decided that I would finally make a post about it.
Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? The problem itself seems silly especially if it is psychological, but unfortunately it is a major obstacle for me right now and disturbs my meditation and observation practices. It is also really noticeable in public and has been a source of great frustration and anxiety in the past. I realize that part of the problem might be that I'm giving the disturbance more energy by thinking about it, but I don't really know how to not do so. Thanks for any help.
Accepted Answer
All of our problems are rooted in our karma, even physical issues, chronic pain, ticks, twitches, etc. All of the Gnostic practices will help you with this. Accomplish the Three Factors at the level you can. Meditate. Transmute. Comprehend. Psychologically die. Pray for understanding of how and why this issue is occurring. Feel yourself as a child of God, have fialial love. Learn the Rites of Rejuvenation to ask for healing.
Accepted Answer
All of our problems are rooted in our karma, even physical issues, chronic pain, ticks, twitches, etc. All of the Gnostic practices will help you with this. Accomplish the Three Factors at the level you can. Meditate. Transmute. Comprehend. Psychologically die. Pray for understanding of how and why this issue is occurring. Feel yourself as a child of God, have fialial love. Learn the Rites of Rejuvenation to ask for healing.
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