Saturday, 24 December 2011
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<p>I'm not an advanced student, nor do I have spiritual experiences beyond the occassional dream with recognizable symbolism where my being is guiding me. I do, however, have a story to tell.</p>
<p>Once upon a time I was very confused about life and religion, and a very deeply hateful, resentful person with a plethora of internal vices I didn't know what to do with. I had studied the Gnosis of antiquity and esoterism in general since my mid teens. Samael's wisdom gave me a means by which to dissolve the psychological egos that personified my hatred, among all the other sins that cycled themselves through my daily life. Anger and hatred in particular were very heavy in me, as at the time I had been comprehending these chief protagonists and all of their idiosyncracies for the better part of eight years. Their impact on my life stretched back so far, and was so large that when they were destroyed, it soon became clear that it wasn't a question of 'if' they were gone, as I knew from those moments forward I would no longer have to deal with them. Looking back I know that hindsight is 20/20: all of those wasted years attending church to deal with these problems, listening to televangelists, reading the bible as a "dead-letter" in a literal way etc., none of that had helped me to deal with what was inside, and frequently it comes to my mind about the parable Jesus gives regarding the people who are like whitened sepulchers, who are clean outwardly but inside are full of rotten bones. That was me, before finding this wisdom.</p>
<p>Long before reading Samael's material, as a child I would instinctively, or out of mere curiosity, do things naturally which I would later find out to constitute practices outlined in these books of esoterism. The work with the symbol of the lemniscate (infinity), for example, was something I had gleened on my own as a young boy, long before reading about it in the master's works, and I went about drawing the symbol repetitively, without realizing that having a lucid dream experience would later be the direct result of that. Spinning with my arms out clockwise, self-observation, considerations of a paralell universe, etc. these were the musings of my early life, and would here once again become such much later.</p>
<p>I've been tested I suppose, I've been guided, I've been blocked, I've failed, I've progressed, all of this I feel no regrets for, as by nature I'm the kind of person who doesn't seem to afford myself the luxury of not fully investing myself in whatever I value in life.</p>
<p>Half of what has benefitted me is straight out of the master's writings, the other half has been from things I've chosen to invest in, other things which fall under the general category of esoterism. For me not to have done so, I understand, in my experience would have likely cost me my life, among other things, but that also for someone else, to do so might be foolish. But this is what makes Gnosis (of Samael) vital too, because the master encouraged people to find their own Gnosis, instead of following him.</p>
<p>Samael's mention of rosemary in his medicine book would prove one day to be a very valuable find, further research would show me that using it as tea may be the best breakfast a person could hope to have. Samael also seems to advocate birthstones as an aid to individuals. The stone for Pisces (Amethyst) is something I would give to anyone. Through experimentation and research it is obvious to me that whether we do incense or not, prayers, invocations, cleansings etc., if we do not keep favorable gemstones around, then we are missing out. Too long I have fought with dark energy, only to find a necklace of amethyst to be a godsend. Be familiar then, brothers and sisters, with "New Age" type shops, not all of the "woo" among us is profane, neither are all of the shopkeepers awakened prodigies of contemptible mischief.</p>
<p>Tibetan singing bowls are also a godsend, I had a block in the heart chakra which was undone by use of such an instrument from a local mystic.</p>
<p>Concentration is an often stressed means of being able to meditate. I had put my bets on developing this faculty very well, as not only in meditation is it useful, but to be free from distraction in everyday life is critical to doing anything well, and absorbing information. I notice in particular when I read books or listen to lectures, that the very fact of being able to concentrate because I have worked to develop it for so long, has itself proven to allow me to do exactly that, absorb information better while not being distracted. An article about a Russian monk I had read years ago, had made it sound somewhat that concentration was the beginning of his spiritual life that lead to miraculous feats thereafter.</p>
<p>I've recently re-read the article here about the black magic of cemetaries, and with regard to the atomic evils that form "communities" within one's body, having been more susceptable to such when it rains, I am wondering if, then, a necessity exists to drink Sage tea after one has been out in the rain, being that sage is a praised bane of evil. This has yet to be tested, and is an example of my random musings I've decided to share.</p>
<p>Beyond the scope of my personal results with Gnosis are the interactions I've had with Gnostics, though mostly encouraging. My concern for the community is the internet, where people cannot easily garner a true sense of other people's communication in an internet setting the way that can be done face-to-face, and for me this has been particularly off-putting. That coupled with the fact that the harsh nature of the master's message appears to inspire some of his students to don the garb of 'The Grand Inquisitor', doesn't bode well for the social milieu of aspiring esoterists. Apparently some of them have not read where the master warns against rousing the egos of other people. I've not so much as entered the online classroom more than a few times merely because I know I could not be goaded to value the so-called instructors there because of some asinine responses they've given on the board (to their credit likely due to inexperience with all of the doctrine, or just a reaction to previous miscommunications).  Likewise, I've heard instructors also use 'idiot' as an adjective for students at times, and the master using the phrase: "jack-asses with frock coats", which to me is all good and fine, but I am no less reminded of the words Jesus spoke in whatever context they are truely appropriate for:</p>
<p>"but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire" (Matthew 5:22)</p>
<p>Should we also pressure people to have a sense of urgency, without also encouraging them to relax in the same breath? This being the last of my rhetorical questions here. I will note that just as challenging of sitautions has arisen from face-to-face interaction with Gnostics, but fortunately I've noticed that because it was in person, there was much less that could go wrong, as genuine communication was much better and easier.</p>
<p>Thus, this has been a brief summary of my experience with Gnosis so far. What little you have read here is the best from primarily my pouring out of too much time and money. Some of the best things in life are very simple, I hope you find it useful.</p>
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