Retrospection Meditation Explained
Joshu asked the master Nansen, “What is the TAO?”
“Ordinary life,” replied Nansen.
“What does one do in order to live in accordance with it?”
“If you try to live in accordance with it, then it will flee away from you; do not try to sing that song; let it be sung by itself. Does not the humble hiccup come by itself?”
The Tao is the Being, the Tao is INRI, the Tao is the Inner Christ. Within Zen Buddhist esotericism, the dialectics of mere reasoning are not in use, but instead the dialectics of the consciousness, which are different. – Samael Aun Weor
The dissolution of the “I” is definitive for final liberation. The “I” is the demon that we carry within. Concerning this affirmation, we can say that the work of the dissolution of the “I” is really the work with the demon. This work is very difficult. When we work with the demon, tenebrous entities usually launch terrible attacks against us. This is really the Path of the Astute Man, the famous Fourth Path, the Path of Tao. – Samael Aun Weor
What is retrospection? It is the first step that we perform when we sit down to meditate; in it, we submerge into our mind in order to contemplate our past.
What specifically do we retrospect? We have to retrospect all the events that we had earlier in the day, since the moment that we sat down to meditate, going back in time, until the moment that we woke up in our beds, even remembering the dreams that we had, during the hours that we were sleeping.
Observation of Ourselves
Obviously, during the hours that our psyche was in activity during the waking state, we had many events that happened at our home, job, in the streets, everywhere. We reacted toward those events in different ways, since we reacted toward them through our three brains.
Remember that in the waking state, when inside of our physical body, when in activity in relationship with daily life, we always live through our three brains, namely:
- the intellectual brain, which is located in the head
- the emotional brain, which is located from the heart to the navel
- the motor center, which is related with the instinctual center and sexual center; the three together are call the motor/instinctual/sexual brain. Motor center is located in the upper part of the spine, while instinct and sex are located in the lower part of our spine and genitalia respectively.
Three brains - motions, emotions, and thoughts - this is what we physically are in relation with our psyche.
So, the psychological aggregates (egos) that we have inside always react towards life in different ways. Their reactions depend upon the impressions that event brings to our psyche; in other words, they depend upon the impressions that we receive through our senses. Therefore, during the day we must be attentive, we must be in a state of alertness, always observing the head, the heart, and the sex of our body. This observation is not with the physical senses, but with our psychological senses; this means that we have to observe our three brains from within with our psyche.
We are the consciousness, who is observing inside its car, inside its vehicle, inside its physical body, all the psychological reactions that through our three brains we have towards our fellowmen, relatives, acquaintances, family, friends, etcetera.
So, when we sit down to do our retrospection, we then remember the different reactions that we had during the day, the way that we thought through the head, the way that we felt through the heart, the way that we moved, the behavior that we had through the body.
In every event, there is always an ego, a psychological aggregate that reacts, that emerges in accordance to the circumstances. For example, if somebody insulted us, then we reacted with the ego of anger; it jumped from within the subconsciousness in order to protest against that insult, since our ego of pride, self-esteem, had been hurt. However, if somebody praises us, then our ego of pride feels good, and consequently we smile. So, every reaction that we have depends upon the impressions that we receive from the exterior world.
During the day, we have to be attentive, alert, and always observing the different reactions that we have through our three brains. In order to do that, we, as souls, have to always remember that we are inside of our physical body, and as thus, observing our three brains. By doing so, we will have plenty of material to analyze during meditation. Remember that it was written on the threshold of the temple of Delphi:
“Man, know thyself, and thous shalt know the universe and the gods.”
In order to know oneself, one needs to be attentive, observing always oneself.
If somebody insults us, we do not have to observe the insulter, we have to observe our three brains, in order to see which reaction are we going to have, and specifically, from which one of our three brains is that particular reaction to start, because any reaction always starts from one of our three brains. In other words, our three brains do not act simultaneously, at the same moment; they act in different moments. For instance, if we are emotionally hurt, if our self-esteem is hurt, then we react through our heart, since it receives the first impression, thus, we become emotionally altered; thereafter we react with words, meaning we utilize the intellect, and lastly we utilize the body in order to react physically with movements. So, here we first observe our emotional reaction, thereafter the intellectual brain, and finally the motor brain; yet, this same impression could also affect us in a different manner.
Another example: if we accidentally touch a hot iron while ironing clothes, and consequently we burn our hand or our arm, then it is obvious that the motor/instinctual brain receives the first impression; so our first reaction will be instinctual; we will move instinctively and will take our hand away from the iron. Thereafter, we will feel anger, we will be emotionally altered, because we were burned. Finally, we will utter bad words, maybe some damnations, etc, this will be our intellectual brain reacting last.
It might also occur that we are having a conversation with somebody else in relation with certain topics, intellectual knowledge, beliefs that we have, thus if this person contradicts our beliefs or our way of thinking, and says that our way of thinking is stupid, then we see that an argument starts in the intellect and thereafter continues in the emotional brain and finally the reaction in the motor brain.
So, in order to discover the psychological sequence in each event, we have to be attentive during the day, because only thus can we discover which one of our three brains will react first, which will be second, and which third when we receive the impression.
This is the way we discover our different defects related with our intellectual brain, our defects related with our emotional brain, and our defects related with our motor-instinctual-sexual brain.
Our defects always utilize the three brains, but at different speeds. If it is an ego related with the intellectual brain, it will act through the emotional and motor brains in a very slow speed; but if it is a defect related with the motor-instinctual-sexual brain, then it will act through the emotional and intellectual brains at a very fast speed, because the motor-instinctual-sexual brain is very fast. Thus, in any given situation, we have to always be aware, attentive in order to discover our behavior during the day.
This is what we call self-observation while self-remembering. This is an exercise that we perform at home, at our job, when we are at social gatherings with our fellowmen, friends, relatives, acquaintances, etc, and even particularly when we are alone, because when we are alone we have sometimes ridiculous thoughts; yes, when we are alone, we have very stupid thoughts in relation with many things.
So when we sit down and begin our daily meditation, first we pray and ask for help from our Divine Mother. She is the one who guides us towards self-knowledge. She is related with Binah, which is Hebrew for “understanding.”
Then, we enter our meditation practice by performing a retrospection on all the events of that day; that is, we start remembering all of the events of the day, and recognizing them with our consciousness. For instance, we recognize an event and say, “This event relates to a defect of anger, and this other to an event of lust, and this other to an event of gluttony,” and so on and so forth.
So, when we finish the retrospection, we have already recognized a series of events that happened to us during the day, and which are related to different psychological situations, to different defects, namely, events of anger, events of lust, events of pride, of gluttony, of hatred, etc. This is why the exercise of retrospection is the first step we do when we sit down to meditate.
Our consciousness must not fall in identification to any event when we are performing retrospection. Our consciousness just has to observe and recognize the events during the retrospection; that is to say, our consciousness is just retrospecting, remembering all the different events from the very moment when we sit to perform our meditation back to the moment when we woke up in our bed. So, when we finish doing that contemplation, we then perform the next step of TAO meditation.
The next step is called serene observation of one particular event. So this step comes after the retrospection. Obviously, when we finish the retrospection, we have on the screen of our mind a lot of defects, vices, that we have discovered. We cannot comprehend in one moment all of those defects and vices that we discovered that day; because if we try to comprehend all of them in one moment of meditation we will attempt something stupid. That is like trying to have witty conversations with fifty people at the same time and about different topics; obviously, we will not be able to pay attention to even one of those fifty persons, because one person is talking about one thing, another person is talking another thing, etc; so we will just end making a nonsensical conversation with all of them. Yet, if we pay attention to only one among those fifty people, then we will get a rational conversation, and comprehend the matter of that conversation. This is how we will comprehend and know ourselves better; this is the intelligent way to utilize our consciousness.
So, pick one event that you saw in your retrospection where one or more aggregates were active within you. Replay that event, and observe it, so that you may comprehend how that ego or egos work (self-knowledge).
Be sure not to fall in identification with what you are observing. An effective way to do this is to remember your Divine Mother is with you, and to look at the event and yourself in that event as if it is on a stage performed by unknown actors. Look at yourself very objectively, as if you are not looking at yourself, but someone else.
Pay attention and observe how “you” behaved in that specific event: What did “you” think? What did “you” feel? How did “you” act? Grasp precisely in which brain of your three brains the reaction first occurred. What set the defect into motion? How does the defect operate? What consequences does it imply? How does it perceive? Understand all the facts surrounding it.
It is important to understand that during serene observation we have just to pay attention to one event that we have already selected from the list of events that happened during the day and that we recognized in our retrospection. So, in accordance with our common sense, with our judgment, we say: “I need to comprehend, to meditate on this particular event that happened at this particular hour; the other ones deserve to be comprehended also, but I can only comprehend one so I have to concentrate on this particular one.” Thus, release the rest of events from your mind; that is, do not pay attention to the rest of events, only to the selected one; and to that particular one apply the serene observation.
Watch that event with serene observation; this is, observe it in detail like when you are watching a soap-opera on the screen of your TV. The observer has to carefully observe the event, noticing details, subtleties. This observation is a serene observation, meaning one must observe it with serenity; in order to be with serenity, we must not be attached to what we are observing. The observer has to independently, impartially observe, as if we are not the one who did this or that behavior.
If we identify or remain attached to the particular event that we are observing, studying, then we start to justify ourselves, and saying for instance: “I reacted in this way, because if I had not reacted in that way, something bad might have happened,” etc. Understand, comprehend, that it does not matter if you were right or wrong — who cares if you were right or wrong — what we have to do is just observe, study the event. So, do not identify with being right; the main point is that we have to observe, to study the event without justifying ourselves.
Do not condemn yourself either. For instance, do not say to yourself, “What happened is that I drank this bottle of whisky in one shot because I am a drunkard, I am weak, and I like to drink.” Neither justify yourself saying, “I have to drink to be social.”
Whatever the case, we must not accuse ourselves of being bad or good. Being bad or good is not the point. The point is to comprehend, to know ourselves; for that we have to observe, to study our behavior, whether we are right or wrong. Again, do not justify, do not accuse, do not condemn yourself, but observe, study yourself in detail.
In that observation you will discover the different actors that were in that particular soap-opera of your life, which is that event. Those actors worked through the three brains of your body, namely, intellectual brain, emotional brain, motor/instinctual/sexual brain. So you have to observe, you have to see the internal actors that emerged from your subconsciousness because of the things that the external people said to you, etc. Study your psychological reactions in regard to the psychological environment of the location where that event took place; you have to observe and always being aware - when you are observing such event - that you are just remembering everything in detail. Thus, if there were other people around the environment of that particular event, do not commit the mistake - when you perform that observation - of accusing other people of being this or being that.
“And why do you look at the splinter in your brother's eye, and not notice the beam which is in your own eye? Or how say to your brother, 'Allow me to take the splinter out of your eye,' while the beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite first take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to remove the splinter from your brother's eye.” – Matthew 7:3-5
It is not the splinter that your neighbor has in his eye that you are going to comprehend, but the beam you have in your own eye that you have to comprehend; so therefore, in this meditation be concerned only about yourself: the way that you felt, the way that you thought, the way that you acted in relationship with the people who were in that environment, etc. So, it is you that you are interested in, so just remember what the people said to you and pay attention to how you reacted, how you thought, how you felt at that moment. Thus, through this serene observation you have to discover how many defects or psychological aggregates were acting in that particular event.
You may find that there are several defects [aggregates] active in one event. Thus, understand each defect systematically, methodically, starting with the main defect that characterizes that event; and continue until you understand each aggregate that was active in that specific event.
The mantra to help you to penetrate into the subconsciousness is Wu (Wuuuuuu).
Sometimes during meditation when you are observing yourself in a particular event you discover two defects related to that event, sometimes three, other times four, other times five, etcetera. It depends of the intensity of that event; let us put an example in order to understand: when arriving at your job, your boss comes and tells you, “I forgot yesterday to tell you that today we are not going to work because today we are going to make an inventory; so you have the day free, please come back tomorrow.” Thus, having that day free, we decide to go and visit our girlfriend or our boyfriend, so we go to her or to his house in order to enjoy that day with him/her. Thus, we arrive at the home of our beloved by surprise, yet when we arrive we observe that somebody else entered to our beloved’s house a few minutes before; then curiously, we want to know what is going on. So, we do not knock at the door but instead go and peek at the window to see who is this stranger that is talking with my girlfriend or boyfriend, who is this stranger that is talking to our beloved at that hour of the day and that we do not know. Then we observe that our girlfriend or boyfriend is treating that stranger very sweetly, and even hugging this person very nicely and kissing this person in a very affectionate manner. You, however, did not see if that kiss was on the cheek or in the mouth, but you are sure that she or he kissed this person very affectionately.
So, if you in that event, immediately observe your three brains, and you will see that you are enraged, you are jealous, and you start thinking the unthinkable, the impossible. Thus, you start thinking that maybe she or he is betraying you with somebody else, etcetera; then you say or you think “I am going to fix this right now” and then you knock at the door and when your girlfriend or boyfriend opens the door, she or he is of course surprised, but you are also very surprised, since you already know that somebody else is there; thus, you enter and say, “Hello, how are you,” yet with an inquisitive attitude, saying, “I am here because I am not working, but I notice that you are busy,” and ask your boyfriend or girlfriend for an immediate answer to know, to see what is going on; thus, your girlfriend or boyfriend notices that you are a little bit upset and wondering why? Thus, immediately he or she asks what is going on, but you are silent, then your jealousy says, “I just came to be with you, but I think you are busy with this person that is accompanying you.” Then, your boyfriend or girlfriend says to you: “Oh, yes, my cousin that came from other city, from other country, is here visiting me today by surprise; allow me to introduce my cousin to you.”
So then, the person appears who in reality is her or his cousin that you didn't know; yet, now you know his/her cousin and your feelings change, you feel a bit embarrassed, and become very polite and friendly, and say to your beloved, “He or she is a nice person, you know, I didn't work today and now we can be together, etc.” Thus, you are peaceful in your heart and happy that such stranger is just a relative of your beloved one.
So, that is the end of that event, it finished at the moment when you knew the truth of that matter. That was the end of that jealousy you were feeling, the anger you were feeling, where your pride was hurt as well as your self-esteem, your lust, and who knows how many others; who knows how many defects were in that event?
Thus, when you are performing your serene observation, the first feeling appears when you discovered, when you saw that stranger entering the house of your beloved one; and that was the moment, the precise moment, where you should have been attentive to know in which brain of your body were you sensing the first reaction from that first impression; obviously it was in your heart, because you were feeling joyful for the fact that you were going to enjoy your time with your girlfriend or boyfriend. So, those feelings that you had in your heart at that moment felt immediately betrayed!
If you go deep down into your observation, you will discover that you were afraid of losing your beloved one, because who knows, maybe she or he does not love you anymore, so you are afraid, so there is fear, fear of losing what is the element of your enjoyment, of your sexual enjoyment or heart enjoyment, your lust; therefore you are afraid.
You are also jealous, because you think that he or she is betraying you; you are jealous because your lust thinks that he or she belongs to you! So there is jealousy within you, nonetheless your pride is also hurt, thus you are controlling your anger, because when you entered into that house you were upset and you wanted to say something, but first you wanted to know the facts. To be upset is to be angry; you don't need to explode like an atomic bomb in order to be angry; there is a lot of subtle anger in different reactions that we have. So we have anger and jealousy, we have also fear; but we also find pride, because you were thinking, “How dare she be with this person when I am her boyfriend! I am the one that deserves all this attention, and I am the only one who deserves to be kissed, and to be treated in that manner,” and so on and so forth. So as we see there is pride, because you feel that you are the one that deserves such attention. Self-esteem as well; she is the one that treats you nicely, and when she treats you the way that she treats you, you feel nice in your heart, but now she is doing that to another person that you don't know.
So, after having serenely analyzed that particular event, we discover perhaps five defects; so then when we end that serene observation, when we finally discover that there are five defects that acted through us in that event, then we proceed with the comprehension of those five defects.
Understand that what we discovered in the serene observation has to be related with facts, not with imaginary or fancy things. Facts are what count, namely what we felt, what we thought, how we acted.
The three brains are the basis for discovering our defects. These must not be imaginary things, or what a shrink or another person told us, no! It has to be about what our own consciousness tells us, what our memory in the serene observation is telling, revealing to us. Only that must the basis of our self-knowing ["Does not the humble hiccup come by itself?”].
The former story was just an example; maybe in your experience you will discover more or less defects related with this particular event that we are putting here as an example.
So, after finishing your serene observation, notice that if you want to comprehend all those five defects together at once, then you will not comprehend any of them. Thus, you need to concentrate your attention on one at a time. After comprehending one, then you concentrate on the next, then the next, etc. We must comprehend the five one by one in a very systematic order. Do not apprehensively comprehend; for instance, you begin comprehending fear and suddenly you jump into anger and then swiftly jumping into jealousy, etc. In this way, you are not comprehending anything; you have to focus your attention on only one, and after having comprehended that one then you select another one among those defects from that particular event that you are concentrate on and comprehending.
Remember, we have to comprehend each defect in relation always with our three brains, namely, our emotional brain, intellectual brain, and in our motor/instinctual/sexual brain; feelings, thoughts, and actions.
Regarding the comprehension of any event, we have to comprehend it in accordance with the law of analogy of the contraries, or what the Bible calls “good and evil,” namely, next to white is black, next to day is night, next to a black horse there is a white horse, next to small there is large, next to justification there is condemnation. Opposites always exist; so, it is obvious that in next to any bad defect there is a good defect; yet, consciousness is always a comprehended virtue.
“Harmony consists in equilibrium, and equilibrium subsists by the analogy of contraries [opposites]. Absolute unity is the supreme and final reason [comprehension] of things. Now, this reason can be neither one person nor three persons: it is a reason, and reason at the highest.”
Virtue always pertains to free consciousness, which always proceeds uprightly in thoughts, feelings and deeds, yet when our consciousness is living in bondage, it always justifies or condemns itself. So therefore we have to discover the virtue that pertains to the upright manner that we should react in any particular event; related to our previous example, how we should have reacted: without jealousy. The opposite of jealousy is trust, thus we should trust the other person’s free will. We have to apprehend the opposite of jealousy. In fact we have to apprehend how we have to uprightly think, feel, and act in regards to jealousy. Likewise, we must proceed with other similar events of jealousy, in order not to be jealous.
Now, continuing with the example of that particular event, we must also find the contrary of the rest of the defects that we are analyzing. To that end, we have to comprehend, to analyze completely, entirely, the entire event that we are focusing on, that we are concentrated on. When we finish with the comprehension of one ego, lets say the ego of jealousy on which we were concentrated on, then we put it aside, because we already comprehend it; then we analyze another - let us say, anger - in the same manner, meaning the anger that was related with the event we are analyzing; not the anger of former times or whatever other anger we might remember from other events, but only the anger related with that particular event, as of our example, that is, when we were upset because our girlfriend was talking with that stranger who visited her, so, that is the only anger that we must comprehend at that moment. Thus, after we find the virtue from the opposites, that is, the upright manner that we have to react, the superlative manner we have to behave in relation with that particular event, etc., and then we also put it aside. Subsequently, we take fear and follow the same procedures; thus, we comprehend fear and when we finish with comprehending fear, then we continue with pride, and we comprehend pride; and when we comprehend pride, then we comprehend self-esteem, and when we comprehended self-esteem we have already comprehended the whole event.
As you see, we have to do it in a systematic order; we have to follow a sequence, a didactic, in order to comprehend the whole event. Thus, at the end, when we comprehended the whole event, when we finally analyzed and comprehended the whole event, that is precisely the moment in which we finish our superlative psychoanalysis.
Superlative psychoanalysis is the comprehension of each and every one of the defects related only with that particular event upon which we are meditating. So, when we finish with that superlative psychoanalysis, then we start doing what we call accusation, and the disintegration of each and every one of the defects related with that event.
Here we have to invoke our interior KAOM; inside us exists a spiritual element which relates to the superlative consciousness of our Being. That superlative, divine consciousness of our Being is that consciousness that we feel sometimes as remorse when we do something wrong, we feel it here in our heart as something that tells us that we did something wrong, thus we feel bad because we did it; that remorse is the interior police that we call KAOM, it is our interior judge; it is that part of the consciousness - our interior judge - that accuses us, that points out the bad things we have committed. Therefore, we have to invoke it.
Execution is performed with the help of your Divine Mother Kundalini. Pray very devotedly to your Divine Mother, calling her to come and aid you.
Why was it wrong to act that way? What are its consequences? How should you have acted?
Remember that every good or bad defect is the opposite of a virtue: find the virtue of each good or bad aggregate. Judge every defect active in the specific event that you are working upon.
Mantra to activate your inner judge: KAOM (Kaoooooomm).
So then when we say KAOM, KAOM, KAOM, mentally, we are invoking it, and then that particular spiritual element of our consciousness will become active in order to accuse, to sentence that particular aggregate, all those particular defects that we comprehended, because we need to annihilate them. Thus, after invoking our interior KAOM, we must also invoke our divine particular Divine Mother. Actually, the invocation of our Divine Mother should be done beforehand; we should do it from the very moment that we are seated to meditate, because we need the assistance of our divine goddess [Binah: comprehension] in order to comprehend because our mind is always wandering between the opposites.
Do not be discouraged because your mind always wanders when you are in meditation; this is precisely the defense of the ego. The ego is mind that with its inner struggle fights in order for you not to comprehend, thus the ego puts in our mind a lot of idiocies, a lot of nonsensical things that we do not need to have in our mind at that moment; the ego does it in order to discourage us; thus, just don't pay attention to those intrusive thoughts that are coming in the moment of meditation. You just pray to your Divine Mother in this manner, “My mother, my goddess, please help me to concentrate on this event or in this particular defect I want to comprehend, help me.” Thus, at any given moment that you feel that your mind is playing with you, just pray to your Divine Mother, and then keep concentrated on your meditation, on your analysis.
Accusation and Annihilation
Now, in the step of accusation, we have to invoke our Divine Mother with more strength. Pray very devotedly to your Divine Mother calling her to come and aid you. You can, for example, pray in the following manner: “My mother, my goddess, please come; come unto me. Assist me. You are the only one that can help me in this very moment to disintegrate. Because you are the Holy Spirit, you have the power to annihilate and this disintegrate this defect of mine that acted in me in this day. Please, come unto me, assist me.’’ Then imagine your Divine Mother like a beautiful divine virgin holding a spear of fire, coming to you. Then imagine your Divine Mother Kundalini standing in front of you, holding the spear of fire. Then in front of you she is standing, holding her spear, and awaiting your words. And then you have to pray to her – from your heart. Talk to her (to pray to God is to talk to God) about your comprehension: “I accuse myself of doing this/reacting in this way, I understand that this is wrong, I should not react like this.’’ Then we can pray the prayer of Hail Mary:
“Hail Mary, full of grace, the law is with thee. Blessed are thou amongst women. And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Yeshua. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us who have the sinning I, now, and at the moment of the death of our defects, Amen’’
Thus, we have to say, “My mother, my goddess, you who are my real Being, who are love within me, I beg you, please hear me, I know that "Love is Law but conscious love," therefore, I accuse myself of doing this and that.” Remember, here we must say, “I did this,” because we have to recognize that our consciousness conditioned to that defect acted wrongly, you know this. So, at that moment we have to feel that we are the one who did it. We have to say, “Mother of mine, I accuse myself of reacting in this particular event like this or like that.” In this example related to jealousy, we say: “Mother of mine, I was jealous, I shouldn't be jealous but I was jealous because I saw this and that, yet I now comprehended that I shouldn't be like this, the manner that I have to react is this; I have to behave in relation with this particular event like this…” this is because we already comprehended; so talk with her about your comprehension. “Mother of mine, this is a defect. I reacted like this and this is wrong, because I should have acted like this...” Then we say, “I beg you please, my mother, annihilate this defect in me; disintegrate it, because I need to be free of this element, I as your child, the consciousness need to behave, I need to react better.” Thus, after that accusation, we say, “Please, mother of mine, kill me, destroy me, annihilate me as this particular defect.” Remember, pray the Hail Mary.
Mary is RAM-IO, our Divine Mother inside of us. So we invoke RAM-IO, our divine particular Mary, and pray with devotion. We imagine Mary as RAM-IO with a spear of fire in her hand. We have to imagine how she pierces our head, our heart, and our sex, because the defect always acts through the three brains. At the moment when we are imagining our Divine Mother piercing with her spear of fire our three brains, we have to bring the defect into our memory; we imagine the ego acting in that particular event where we were behaving like that. At the same moment that we are doing this supplication, this annihilation, we have to perform sexual transmutation.
Then, while doing Pranayama, imagining the fire rising through the spinal column burning the defect there in the three brains (because the defect acts in the three brains), we beg our Divine Mother to annihilate the defect. ‘’Please mother, kill me, destroy this particular defect.’’ And we see how she pierces the defect in the three brains with her spear, and we imagine the ego (by bringing into memory the event where the ego was active) burning with flames at the same time as the mother is killing us. And we see that we are the one that is burning in flames, like a devil, with horns, protesting and crying – but being killed by the fire of the Holy Spirit.
A helpful mantra during Pranayama: KRIM (krrrrreeeeemmmmm, with a rolled r if possible, and the e as in tree).
This is how we work, and little by little become more and more free as a consciousness, and a better person. So, this is how the defect finally dies within us.
In other words, by doing Pranayama, which is deep breathing, deep respiration, transmuting the sexual force, we have to imagine that the sexual energy is going up our spinal column like a flame and burning in the sex, heart, and the brain (the three brains) the defect that we are asking for annihilation.
To do this along with pronouncing the mantra KRIM is better because the mantra (krrrrreeeeemmmmm) takes the very essence of our sexual force into our psyche. Thus, we have to pronounce the mantra KRIM mentally. So while we transmute the sexual energy, while we pronounce the mantra KRIM mentally, the sexual fire ascends and burns in the three brains that particular defect. At the same time, we imagine the Divine Mother killing the ego of jealousy inside of us. We repeat the same thing with the anger, with the fear, with the pride, with the self esteem of that particular event that we are putting here as an example.
So, as we see, it depends of how many defects we discover during our meditation in order to apply the accusation and in order to disintegrate each one of them in a sequential order; this means, that in the same way, in the same order, that we comprehended them, in the same way we have to annihilate them one by one.
After we finish, we give thanks to our Divine Mother for that particular mediation that we performed, and if we want, we can even choose another event of that day and apply again the same steps, namely, self observation, self-psycho-analysis or superlative analysis, accusation and disintegration; the same steps for every event. Thus, during the day if we have time we can meditate on two, three, or four events, etc.
Usually, people only meditate on one event, because they are very busy during the day and only have time for meditation when they arrive at home; thus, after the retrospection they apply these steps only to one event; but we can do it many times during the day.
Now, let us observe another important aspect, which is how we die psychologically when we practice sexual magic. If we are going to perform our sexual magic, it is better to pray in it for the annihilation of our defects. So during the sexual act, in the moment when we are transmuting our sexual energy with our spouse, we pray to our Divine Mother in the same manner; yet at that time, at that moment, we have to pray aloud so that you partner, your spouse will hear what you are saying in the accusation. Listen, we are not stating here that you have to apply all of the former steps of Tao Meditation while sexually united, no! We are just stating that we can disintegrate any defect at the moment when we are united in the sexual act. Thus, you have to pray aloud so that your partner will hear what you say, and repeat it with you, example: “My mother, my Goddess please, annihilate this defect of anger that I have inside, I beg you to disintegrate it.” Just simple, like that, and then your spouse will repeat exactly the same prayer: “Yes, mother of mine, disintegrate this ego of anger of mine.” Then both of them must imagine the Divine Mother killing that particular ego that either of the spouses utter in that moment; in other words the husband has to imagine that the defects of his wife are his defects, and the wife has to imagine that the defects of her husband are her defects.
Thus, at the moment of sexual magic apply Accusation and Annihilation, because indeed in the moment of the sexual act husband and wife are one being. So, the defect that is accused in that moment and that we are asking for its disintegration is completely annihilated, because it receives a tremendous voltage of energy, three times stronger, because the positive, the negative, and the neutral are unified. The woman is the negative pole, and the man is the positive, and the neutral force unites both of them in the sexual act, in other words, the holy trinity acts directly disintegrating that particular defect. There is no defect that can tolerate this type of energy in the sexual act.
If we are single, then we can ask only when performing our Pranayama as we explained before. We can even apply both ways if we are married; Pranayama when we meditate, that is, when we are performing disintegration alone and as well when we are in the sexual act, we ask again to be sure that that ego is going to be annihilated.
This is the way we advance little by little and our consciousness will be liberated from moment to moment. This is how we apply the factor of death from moment to moment.
“And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame, to everlasting contempt.
“And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.” – Daniel 12: 2, 3
Comprehend that we have to die within ourselves in order to awaken, but the annihilation of the ego happens only after the comprehension of it, and the comprehension of it is after the discovering of it during the day, because we have to observe, we have to be awakened during the day, we have to be consciously active. To be awake is to remember our Being from moment to moment and to observe ourselves from moment to moment.
Remember that we have only three percent of free consciousness that is not conditioned within the ego; the rest, 97 percent of consciousness, is bottled up within the ego. This is why we have to do super-efforts during the day in order to remember ourselves, in order not to identify with the different situations or different circumstances of life.
We have to always feel that we are inside the body, when we are talking, when we are walking, when we are doing anything. We have to do what we are doing, and observe always the three brains. That is the way we discover ourselves from moment to moment. Thereafter, during meditation, we comprehend ourselves, and after the comprehension, we ask for annihilation; this is how we advance on the path of the self-realization; this is how the consciousness becomes free from bondage! Our soul, our consciousness, is in bondage to the ego to the defects, vices, errors that we have; this is why we suffer. This is the way to liberate ourselves from bondage, and this is how we awaken positively, and how we start behaving better and better.
When in a similar event we do not react in that same way again, then we know that the defect has been comprehended and annihilated. Thus, this is how we die from moment to moment; this is the way in Mexico that Master Samael Aun Weor taught us psychological death.
“In those days [these days] shall [some immature] men seek [psychological] death [for their legion of egos], and [because of the lack of knowledge] shall not find it; and shall desire to [psychologically] die [by means of many whimsical methods], and [psychological] death shall flee from them.” - Revelation 9:6
So TAO meditation is the TAO path, that is self-realization in which we know ourselves, in which we put the three brains in equilibrium. This is the path of the equilibrated human being who is not slave of his defects or vices, but that controls them, annihilates them, and walks always balanced.
Remember that the mantra, WU, Wuuuuuuu… helps us to penetrate into the subconsciousness. That is why we must combine meditation, comprehension of the ego, with the mantra WU. If we practice this everyday, we will see then the change that we will have, but we have to do it daily, because in order to see results we have to practice daily, not just every week or every month, but every day. In that way we will find a wonderful universe inside of us.
The instructors who teach the lectures and courses are volunteers from a wide variety of backgrounds. Each has years of experience teaching and working with the practices and exercises that awaken the consciousness. Since the goal of dharma, yoga, or gnosis is to follow our inner Being, and to focus on divinity not terrestrial personalities, the lecturers remain anonymous, and do not broadcast their names, faces, or personal information. They do not have spiritual titles or names, do not accept followers, and live their lives anonymously like any other person in society.