Feeling Overwhelmed/Stupid

I found Gnosis about a year ago and every time I hear the teachings my heart is filled with light, I know it is truth. I am committed in heart, but in head I doubt my capability. I have dyslexia and am a very slow reader. I love reading, but it takes much time and sometimes the sheer content of Gnostic studies overwhelms me. I do appreciate the Glorian YouTube resource for this reason. For my mind, the doubt comes from feeling like I will always be a novice and so I should just give up. I also have aphantasia (no visual images in my head) so visualization practices and astral projection have not been possible for me yet. I have felt the experience of astral projecting but without images I doubt my abilities, I am working on trusting myself but the doubts are quite strong. Still, I am committed to meditating 30 minutes daily, I have almost done this for a year. And I abstain from all mind altering substances, commit to a sound body practice, and spend much time in nature feeling connected to God. I am grateful for what this path has brought me, but I want to honestly share my fears and reservations about my slow reading and difficulty committing time to studying due to it. I will continue the path even if I can only read a page a day, I think commitment is more important that perfection, but any support would be much appreciated.

Thank you for having this community. With love, Molly