Morbidity and self-deprecation is a form of repression, negativity, and guilt. These emotional states do nothing to better our spirituality, therefore discard them. Determine for yourself that you will take control of your life in accordance with the help of your Being. The way to do so is by cultivating the joy of the spirit, precisely through positive, uplifting activities, friendship or companionship, a cup of tea, a game of chess, a piece of classical music by Beethoven, painting, drawing, reading inspiring and divine poetry, playing with one's pets, etc.
Comprehension born through self-observation of morbid states leads us towards the ineffable heights of happiness, for in discovering our outstanding defects, our Divine Mother can eliminate them.
There is the need to remain indifferent before praise and slander, before triumph and failure.
It is necessary to change the process of reasoning for the beauty of comprehension. [...]
The Gnostic who does not know how to smile has less control of himself, like the one who only knows the guffaw of Aristophanes.
There is the need to achieve complete control of ourselves. An Initiate can feel happiness, but he will never fall into the frenzy of madness. An Initiate can feel sadness, but he will never reach desperation. -Samael Aun Weor, Igneous Rose
You're right that "I" can't do this work. Only God can. Therefore discard your "I's!"