Thursday, 29 January 2015
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I have this problem of being disconnected from material things and ruining my financial situation while walking on this path.
While I have been walking this path, having a strong connection with my inner Being couple of years ago, I have ruined my physical life to the point I got broke financially. Years have passed and I got very discouraged because of my physical situation have become, lost connection to this sacred path and terribly failed.
At the moment, this is a second day I feel a great urge to walk this path once again (I meditate time to time on the ego and other matters and do pranayama daily which helps me not forget this path completely), but I got a problem when I walk this path I forget all material things. Money start to be of no importance to me. All physical things start to be unimportant.
I have started my own family (I will have a child with my wife), but I have a concern that I will fail even more financially and material things will not matter to me again, endangering my family well being (even further more, as we are kind of poor people, not truly poor, but financially weak).
In this world we need money to live, we need material things (like clothes) to not look like a complete beggars and to be an example to other people that you can walk this path and be successful on it.
How can I balance material things with spirituality? How can I walk this path without being poor? It is a very difficult thing to me. I have asked this questions my inner Being during countless meditations and got no answer and no solution at all.
How can I fix myself? What should I do? I really know that if I start to follow this path again I will achieve a spiritual success again, but I am worried that I will destroy my life completely... This is my main problem in this life and I do not know how to make a bond between material and spiritual life.
Any advice would be of great help.
Best wishes.
7 years ago
Also I would like to add that from what my intuition tells me my inner Being wants me to have material success in my life. He wants me to be successful financially, but there is something that obstructs my inner Being for helping me in this matter. Maybe I am that obstacle, maybe there is something else. I was guided and got a great help of cleansing from the curses I had. One old gentleman who helped me with the guidance of my inner Being told me the same thing that the God wants me to have material success. And all this seems to make sense. But everything I try to do gives me no results in this matter. The harder I try in spirituality the harder I fail financially. Even if I focus on material matter it gives me a very little fruits. My Being is of Venusian ray and I must follow His footsteps, doing some artistic work, playing a piano after my 40s (I'm 21 y. old right now), but I fail on this matter too. I have lost all my artistic talent I had in my late teens age.
If I forget this path completely I may focus on material things, but when I start to do so I start to be depressive. I just can't live like a run of the mill person even if I will be successful financially.
7 years ago
Many enter the path and thereafter they no longer want to continue working in order to fulfill the needs of every good citizen. Those wretched beings neglect their duties towards their family, the world and their own selves. We have hear them say phrases like: “Money is vain,” “This is the world of Maya (illusion),” “I am no longer interested in the things of the world,” etc. This is how these wretched disciples fail because they do not know how to fulfill their duties. This is how these devotees of the path move away from initiation, precisely because they do not know how to fulfill their duties as simple citizens.

Our disciples will now comprehend why we stated that crime is also hidden within the incense of prayer.

The one who enters the path must first of all be a model spouse, a model father/mother, a model child, a model citizen, a magnificent grandson/daughter and a patriarchal grandfather/mother, etc. The one who does not know how to fulfill his duties as a simple citizen cannot tread the path of the great mysteries. Many disciples forget the good manners of a sincere and honorable gentleman/lady and become truly irresponsible and even dangerous individuals.
- Samael Aun Weor, The Major Mysteries

Just because you become interested in spiritual things, that does not mean you can neglect the things of the world. You seem to realize this, but it would be useful for you to meditate on what it is that's causing you to neglect worldly existence during those times you take an interest in the Path. And be honest with yourself. Your mind is telling you that your spiritual practice makes you neglect the world. But that is not what the Path is.

Initiation is life itself, intensely lived, with integrity and with love. - Samael Aun Weor, Manual of Practical Magic

My suspicion is that what is afflicting you is either laziness, or an addiction to spiritual or mental sensations (which really is no different at its root from addiction to physical sensation). But only you can know what is really going on, by looking into yourself. So meditate. And rout out whatever scourge is causing this mental affliction in you. Correct your wrong views about what the Path is, and isn't. And walk the path of balance.
7 years ago
Thank you for your time.
Well, yes, you are partially correct. I do start to neglect (and was neglecting) the world around me. Also I somehow start to hate (and was hating) money, to hate business affairs and see them as dirty black magic. It may be an ego and the mind playing with me. I used to travel in consciously a lot before and memories come to my mind that I did not want to lose this. But it was not because my selfish needs, as I did not cared a lot about my needs. I was afraid to lose my connection with my inner Father as I did a few incarnations before. I wanted to repent my self so badly, to have the right to use solar astral body again that I forgot my physical duties. Also I was searching for people in astral plane to introduce them to Gnosis (and successfully meeting them in physical world, introducing them to Gnosis) that this also added strength to my own physical oblivion. It may be the fear of loss that made me fail. But I had no fear back then. I was simply ignorant. I thought that God will give me everything I need.
And now, I am so lost. I did not blame the teachings for my problems, I blamed myself trying to understand what is wrong with me. And this only made things worse.
Right now I do not know how to manage my energy. When I try to direct divine energy towards material things, towards wealth, I always feel (and was feeling even stronger before) tremendous guilt. I felt like I was doing something very dirty and black. After I felt this I stopped doing duties as a human. Even now I sometimes feel that guilt if I try to direct this energy towards positive material results.
I have meditated countless times on this and could not find a clue what is wrong with me.
Your answer did help me as I have forgotten how I felt back then and what pushed me back. Your answer refreshed my memory. But still, I have no idea how to battle this. Is this feeling false or is it legit feeling motivated by my inner Being. I do not know. It is like this door is tightly locked and I do not have a key, nor do I have a strength to crash it....
7 years ago
Also at the moment I am trying to not make the same mistake. I am trying to not neglect my physical duties. That is why I wrote here, otherwise I would be sitting and meditating on divine things, forgetting about material live.
Please, do understand, that I am here for the guidance, to how to "fix" my idiotic mind. All I want is to step up from this stupidity, from this filthy mud, but somehow I can't. I do not know how to do it. I try to meditate on this matter, but everything is in vain.

Also I have read those links you posted and they show some of my errors I made.
7 years ago
Morbidity and self-deprecation is a form of repression, negativity, and guilt. These emotional states do nothing to better our spirituality, therefore discard them. Determine for yourself that you will take control of your life in accordance with the help of your Being. The way to do so is by cultivating the joy of the spirit, precisely through positive, uplifting activities, friendship or companionship, a cup of tea, a game of chess, a piece of classical music by Beethoven, painting, drawing, reading inspiring and divine poetry, playing with one's pets, etc.

Comprehension born through self-observation of morbid states leads us towards the ineffable heights of happiness, for in discovering our outstanding defects, our Divine Mother can eliminate them.
There is the need to remain indifferent before praise and slander, before triumph and failure.

It is necessary to change the process of reasoning for the beauty of comprehension. [...]

The Gnostic who does not know how to smile has less control of himself, like the one who only knows the guffaw of Aristophanes.

There is the need to achieve complete control of ourselves. An Initiate can feel happiness, but he will never fall into the frenzy of madness. An Initiate can feel sadness, but he will never reach desperation. -Samael Aun Weor, Igneous Rose
You're right that "I" can't do this work. Only God can. Therefore discard your "I's!"

Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.

Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"

7 years ago
Your words really help and give so simple solutions.
I have slept this weekend very and very much (I slept more than I was awake), combining my sleep with meditation. I tried to understand much things that I have done wrong. There is so much remorse in my actions, but yet I woke up today feeling good and calm, even though I remember only small pieces of these meditations.
I think by internal Divine Father will help me overcome these problems and get back to my feet.
I just need a little bit more willpower and motivation.
Your words (instructors') did help me a lot as I tried to comprehend them and found many things that I forgot some time ago.
I will bother you no more. Please, accept my gratitude.
Thank you and best wishes.
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