Hello,
Thank you for the question. This false light you mention, ask yourself why you consider it false light rather than darkness. Is there such a thing as false light? Or, is light simply light and anything that is not light are just different shades of darkness?
…We work on our faults so that we can have light. That light is fire, is energy, is force. We have no light, no fire, no force. The lamp is dark. We can't see the path….
https://chicagognosis.org/lectures/what-is-initiation
Could it be that what you are referring to is the ego working to keep you away from your inner light? Your innermost Being? Could this ‘false light’ (darkness) you are feeling be linked with the Guardian of the Threshold?
This guardian is of the threshold because that is the threshold of entering the mysteries. If we wish to really advance towards the light, we have to face our own darkness.
https://chicagognosis.org/lectures/what-is-initiation
In facing our own darkness, we must discern between the human “I” and the innermost Being and work to eliminate the ego.
The Being is indifferent before pleasure and suffering, before praise and insult, before victory and defeat, yet the human “I” is offended by everything; it suffers and cries, enjoys and seeks pleasures.
https://glorian.org/books/the-major-mysteries/the-guardian-of-the-threshold
Remember, the work of Gnosis is to bring one out of suffering through practice. This practice involves death (elimination of the ego), rebirth (maithuna), and sacrifice (service to others).
I’ve written and provided links that will give some insight into the elimination of the ego. For single people, an effective practice is the Ham Sah Pranayama. You can learn more about this in the Yellow Book:
https://glorian.org/books/the-yellow-book/sexual-transmutation-for-single-people
Serving humanity can come in different forms. Consider what way works best for you and do so selflessly.