He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. The more sin we have to contend with, the greater our achievement will be if we renounce suffering and work on the ego. The fact that you feel spiritual inquietudes shows you that your Innermost is pushing for change, that you have suffered too much, and that the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is already ripe. Many people need to mature more before they can enter Gnosis, for the ultimate catalyst for maturity is suffering.
Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.
Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.
"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"