Gnostic instructors, how does one go about this work without a wife? It seems as though that real sexual magic is the foundation of all these practises. I use the practises of self remembering, meditation, and prayer, but I keep reading that without sexual magic, abstaining from sex is lunar and will develop the kundabuffer organ. Should one simply wait and gamble on finding a wife in time, or continue having (so called) regular sexual activity. I feel absolutely alienated from my peers trying to be without ego and not engaging in what to them is everyday interactions - trying to have sex. I am 20 years old and somehow doubt I will be able to meet a woman interested in gnostic christianity, and if I do, I feel as though I will be too socially inept to recognize it by then. Should I continue with a more Gurdjieffian approach to awakening for fear that by denying my sexual system I will damage my sexual self, creating a fear and cynicism towards sex that will obstruct the channels where sexual energy circulates?