You need to meditate on your experiences and reflect on their application to your daily life in order to achieve comprehension. This takes many years of meditation, practice, self-reflection, caution, prudence...
The Innermost never defends fornication, adultery, and lust, but chastity, fidelity, and conscious love. Manipulating others out of lust and adultery is the exclusive property of Satan, the animal 'I.'
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami