It was explained in the lecture "Fallen Angels" that we are "tohu ve bohu" which translates to "formless and void." It has also been explained that the first aspect of the Absolute is "Ain" which can be translated "emptiness." To me, being formless and void is the same thing as emptiness. Why then, am I working every day to reach the level of emptiness when I am already empty? It seems to me that I am not formless and void, that rather I am formed (poorly) and full (of sin).
Second, is this an intellectual question? Should I be meditating instead of using the forum to reach my conclusion? If so, why is this forum available?
In my mind as I am asking these questions, I can recognize a somewhat sarcastic tone. I truthfully don't believe that tone is directed at you. I think it is my frustrated intellect. So I apologize if a negative tone was conveyed through my writing.
I am having a hard time with my meditation practice. It seemed much easier in the beginning. I am trying very hard to have a "beginner's mind", but trying just increases the struggle. How does one achieve, without trying? It has been suggested to call upon one's guardian angel, but I don't know the name of my guardian angel. I'm not certain I even know what a guardian angle is.
I'm sorry for my lack of focus, only answer what you feel is necessary. As always, I am very grateful for the help given here. I just feel like I should be a little more self-sufficient by now. In other words, be able to communicate with my Innermost more effectively. Instead of having to rely on others. We are taught to search within ourselves for the answers, but all I'm finding right now is more questions. Who's questions? My ego's of course. I feel stupid for even posting on this forum, because I know it is my ego that is asking. What is a boy to do? Meditate........right......
Second, is this an intellectual question? Should I be meditating instead of using the forum to reach my conclusion? If so, why is this forum available?
In my mind as I am asking these questions, I can recognize a somewhat sarcastic tone. I truthfully don't believe that tone is directed at you. I think it is my frustrated intellect. So I apologize if a negative tone was conveyed through my writing.
I am having a hard time with my meditation practice. It seemed much easier in the beginning. I am trying very hard to have a "beginner's mind", but trying just increases the struggle. How does one achieve, without trying? It has been suggested to call upon one's guardian angel, but I don't know the name of my guardian angel. I'm not certain I even know what a guardian angle is.
I'm sorry for my lack of focus, only answer what you feel is necessary. As always, I am very grateful for the help given here. I just feel like I should be a little more self-sufficient by now. In other words, be able to communicate with my Innermost more effectively. Instead of having to rely on others. We are taught to search within ourselves for the answers, but all I'm finding right now is more questions. Who's questions? My ego's of course. I feel stupid for even posting on this forum, because I know it is my ego that is asking. What is a boy to do? Meditate........right......