Dear Instructors.
I am sincerely in need of your help. I am hoping that you can help based on your past experiences with this same matter that I have.
•I practice sexual magic regularly which has been refined a great deal. Thanks to meditation my mind reminds still, fully concentrated on the energy rising up.
•I also practice ham-sah transmutation every morning and every night before sleep along with reciting the conjugation of Bellilin 3 times and ask the divine mother for protection while I sleep.
•Mediate 2-3 hours everyday.
•I work in the fitness industry so nutrition isn’t a problem and I do not eat pork.
•Physical activity also isn’t a problem.
•I do not watch tv or listen to radio.
•I use the internet for access to spiritual literature.
•I do not lust over other women. But I am always aware of the 3 brains regardless.
•I have chipped away at the defects of the ego of lust a great deal.
My problem is why am I still being attacked in my sleep by wet dreams. Why is it that I am involuntarily losing sexual energy, especially when I am performing sexual magic along with Ham-Sah every night, I thought this would dry up the semen resulting in no physical loss. I know I am doing transmutation right because I can feel the energy rise up my spine, and the result leaves an inner heat radiating in my body. When I loose the energy through wet dreams I can feel the inner fire and heat diminishing. I feel like I am taking two steps forward and one step backwards, moving nowhere fast on the path.
If it helps; When I have wet dreams it is never with anyone else but with my partner. So I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. It would be more clear that if the dream was with someone else then I could say I am obviously lusting over other women, but this isn’t the case.
I know that you often provide the advice of “mediate on it” but what exactly am I suppose to mediate on, the dream itself? Which, I should add, was basically me and my partner about to practice alchemy, but the fact everything in the astral is more sensitive, I lost my energy in the dream before I even started the act. (I also know that alchemy in the astral is for masters only). Will these attacks in my dreams eventually go away or are they always a treat even further along the path?
I would greatly appreciate your help and time that you could give to me, a wretched sinner of the Holy Spirit trying to find his way back to the light.
I am sincerely in need of your help. I am hoping that you can help based on your past experiences with this same matter that I have.
•I practice sexual magic regularly which has been refined a great deal. Thanks to meditation my mind reminds still, fully concentrated on the energy rising up.
•I also practice ham-sah transmutation every morning and every night before sleep along with reciting the conjugation of Bellilin 3 times and ask the divine mother for protection while I sleep.
•Mediate 2-3 hours everyday.
•I work in the fitness industry so nutrition isn’t a problem and I do not eat pork.
•Physical activity also isn’t a problem.
•I do not watch tv or listen to radio.
•I use the internet for access to spiritual literature.
•I do not lust over other women. But I am always aware of the 3 brains regardless.
•I have chipped away at the defects of the ego of lust a great deal.
My problem is why am I still being attacked in my sleep by wet dreams. Why is it that I am involuntarily losing sexual energy, especially when I am performing sexual magic along with Ham-Sah every night, I thought this would dry up the semen resulting in no physical loss. I know I am doing transmutation right because I can feel the energy rise up my spine, and the result leaves an inner heat radiating in my body. When I loose the energy through wet dreams I can feel the inner fire and heat diminishing. I feel like I am taking two steps forward and one step backwards, moving nowhere fast on the path.
If it helps; When I have wet dreams it is never with anyone else but with my partner. So I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. It would be more clear that if the dream was with someone else then I could say I am obviously lusting over other women, but this isn’t the case.
I know that you often provide the advice of “mediate on it” but what exactly am I suppose to mediate on, the dream itself? Which, I should add, was basically me and my partner about to practice alchemy, but the fact everything in the astral is more sensitive, I lost my energy in the dream before I even started the act. (I also know that alchemy in the astral is for masters only). Will these attacks in my dreams eventually go away or are they always a treat even further along the path?
I would greatly appreciate your help and time that you could give to me, a wretched sinner of the Holy Spirit trying to find his way back to the light.