I'm feeling quite foolish. I know that what you're saying is probably more than sufficient. However, I don't think my understanding is. I'm sorry that I am such a slow study.
It's possible also that I did a poor job of stating my original question. If it is okay, I would like to try again.
Preparing for the act is not a problem for me. Once we are in full embrace and begin to meditate, my faculties whither. Thus, I produce movement for stimulation. Only what it takes to become slightly aroused. Once there is some arousal, we can feel an electricity-like sensation, even without movement. This is what I am perceiving as the sexual energy in which to transmute. In the beginning, very little movement was required. Now it seems more is required to produce the electricity-type feeling that I perceive to be sexual energy.
The increased movement raises red flags because it seems like the beginning of a slow decline back into carnality. I have managed to sustain the willpower to avoid spilling. However, I find myself pushing it to the edge. As time progresses, I am able to sustain control under heavier amounts of arousal. I am experiencing a form of pleasure through sensation and stopping it short of losing control. I don't want to fool myself into believing I am doing the right thing when in reality, I may be yet identified with a sensation.
Since I have begun a daily meditation practice. I have become hyper-aware of different energetic forces both inside and outside of my body. I can feel high frequency vibrations in my neck and head, my heart produces flutter-like waves which sometimes connect with my brain, and I frequently have a form of what I would describe as sexual energy eminating from my root chakra area. Also, I have some gem stones which I can also feel an energy eminate from when I keep them in my left hand, especially near my waste, and often for no reason I experience emotional changes that I can feel are coming from another person. At one point the vibration in my head became so intense that my eyes went fuzzy and I thought I may pass out. Another time I had an intense wave of what I would percieve as sexual energy spontaneously occur throughout my body accompanied by an almost violant chattering of my jaw. As if something was taking posession over my physical faculties.
In essence, I have become accustomed to different energetic forces being perceivable to me and as such, tend to use them as a sort of a way to gauge my practice. Several of these energies are pleasureable to experience and thus tend to generate an appetite of sorts, including in our tantric practice. This is where my concern is. However, I have a rather hearty appetite for spiritual growth, as we all do here. This is of course, my main concern and in fact the very thing that led me to begin experiencing all of these phenomena. This is my dilemma. Is the sexual arousal another perceived biproduct of the process of reaching enlightenment or is it Satan tempting me to turn stone into bread? Or am I just over thinking it and wasting the Christic energy?
Thank you for being available to those of us who make a habit of complicating matters. You are truly a blessing!