My family thinks I am a big sinner because I do not practice islam like they do. They do not know that I practice gnosis, ego annihilation, sexual transmutation. My sister keeps sending me long lectures (videos of so called islam teachers) which I have extreme dislike for, the kind of teachers like that at peacetv and other muslim teachers. I just cannot listen to their voices. She keeps telling me not to learn music as is it haram, not to take interest from the banks, to wash with water not just toilet paper after urinating because it is said so in quran and so many things.
Although I have asked her to stop preaching me, she stops for a while and continues again.
Now, what all this stirs in me, is irritation, anger, and this feeling to tell her that she is commiting the biggest sin of loosing semen, that she needs to wake up in astral and take teachings directly from teachers in the astral like me...but I do not say this to her...I know it will spoil our relationship.
I feel God wants to test me with this situation, because I see that it stirs up my pride which says "YOU are preaching ME??? Me... who wakes up in astral and who transmutes and who meets the divine Mother and Father? Who are YOU to preach me and that too about these petty things when you have no idea that you are committing the biggest sin?"
or I feel like saying to her "May God give you the realization of the biggest sin you are committing which none of the islamic preachers talk about".
Instructors, please help me to tackle this situation...I know I need to ask my Mother and take only her help...but this is too overwhelming for me..and I am unable to wake up in astral because I see that I have gotten into entropy and failing to self observe as much as I used to and so unable to have lucid dreams or wake up in astral as I used to.
I also see how I am holding on to my past astral experiences and feed my pride with it in spite of the fact that I have been unable to be conscious in astral since many months now.
Although I have asked her to stop preaching me, she stops for a while and continues again.
Now, what all this stirs in me, is irritation, anger, and this feeling to tell her that she is commiting the biggest sin of loosing semen, that she needs to wake up in astral and take teachings directly from teachers in the astral like me...but I do not say this to her...I know it will spoil our relationship.
I feel God wants to test me with this situation, because I see that it stirs up my pride which says "YOU are preaching ME??? Me... who wakes up in astral and who transmutes and who meets the divine Mother and Father? Who are YOU to preach me and that too about these petty things when you have no idea that you are committing the biggest sin?"
or I feel like saying to her "May God give you the realization of the biggest sin you are committing which none of the islamic preachers talk about".
Instructors, please help me to tackle this situation...I know I need to ask my Mother and take only her help...but this is too overwhelming for me..and I am unable to wake up in astral because I see that I have gotten into entropy and failing to self observe as much as I used to and so unable to have lucid dreams or wake up in astral as I used to.
I also see how I am holding on to my past astral experiences and feed my pride with it in spite of the fact that I have been unable to be conscious in astral since many months now.