I hate the idea of sexual intercourse.

We understand people of normal sexuality to be those who have no sexual conflicts of any kind. Sexual energy is divided into three distinct types. First: the energy having to do with the reproduction of the race and the health of the physical body in general. Second: the energy having to do with the spheres of thought, feeling and will. Third: the energy that is found related with the Divine Spirit of man.

Indeed, sexual energy is without a doubt the most subtle and powerful energy normally produced and transported through the human organism. Everything that a human being is, including the three spheres of thought, feeling and will, is none other than the exact outcome of distinct modifications of sexual energy.
The control and storage of sexual energy is certainly difficult due to the tremendously subtle and powerful nature of this energy. In addition, its presence represents a source of immense power that can result in a true catastrophe if one does not know how to handle it.

Within the organism, there are certain canals through which this powerful energy must normally circulate. When this energy infiltrates the delicate mechanism of other functions, failure is the violent outcome. In this case, extremely delicate centers in the human organism are damaged, and in fact, the individual becomes an infrasexual.

All negative mental attitudes can lead directly or indirectly to these violent and destructive catastrophes of sexual energy. Hatred of sex, hatred of the Arcanum A.Z.F., disgust or repugnance towards sex, disdain for sex, an underestimation of sex, fear of sex, passional jealousy, sexual cynicism, sexual sadism, obscenity, pornography, sexual brutality, etc., turn the human being into an infrasexual.

Sex is the creative function through which the human being is a true God. Normal sexuality results from total harmony and concordance with all the other functions. Normal sexuality bestows upon us the power to create healthy children, to create in the world of art or the sciences. Any negative mental attitude towards sex produces infiltration of this powerful energy into other functions, which provokes frightening catastrophes, fatally resulting in infrasexuality.

All negative mental attitudes compel the sexual energy, forcing it to circulate through canals and systems fit for mental, volitive, or any other type of energy less powerful than sexual energy. The result is fatal because that type of canal and system, unable to endure the tremendous voltage of the very powerful sexual energy, gets heated and blows out, as does a wire that is too thin and fine when a high power electrical current passes through it.

When man and woman unite sexually in the Perfect Matrimony, they are truly ineffable Gods in those voluptuous moments. Man and woman united sexually form a divine androgynous being, a male-female Elohim, a terrifically divine Divinity. The two halves, separated since the dawn of life, are united for one instant in order to create. This is ineffable, sublime; this is a thing of paradise...

Sexual energy is dangerously volatile and potentially explosive. During the secret act, during sexual ecstasy, the pair is surrounded by a tremendous, terrifically divine energy. In these moments of utmost joy and ardent kisses, which ignite the depths of the soul, we are able to retain that marvelous light to purify and totally transform ourselves. When we spill the glass of Hermes, when the loss occurs, the light of the Gods withdraws, leaving an open door for the red and sanguinary light of Lucifer to enter the home. Then the enchantment disappears and disillusion and disenchantment take its place. After a short time, the man and woman start out on the path of adultery because their home has become an inferno.

[...]

The struggle of many monks, nuns, anchorites, pseudo-yogis, etc., to bottle up sex within their religious fanaticism, to confine it to the prison of their penitence, to muzzle it or sterilize it, to prohibit all creative manifestation, etc., converts the fanatics into slaves of their own passions. They become slaves of sex, incapable of thinking about anything other than sex. These are the ones who are fanatical about sex. These are the degenerated ones of infrasexuality. These people discharge their energy every night with disgusting nocturnal emissions or acquire homosexual vices or masturbate miserably. Wanting to confine sex is like wanting to bottle up the sun. A man like this is the most abject slave of sex without any benefit or true pleasure. A man like this is an unhappy sinner. A woman like this is a sterile mule, a vile slave of that which she wants to enslave (sex). The enemies of the Holy Spirit are people of the Abyss. It would have been better for these people if they had never been born or if they tied a millstone around their necks and hurled themselves to the bottom of the sea [Matthew 18:6, Mark 9:42, Luke 17:2].

The human being must learn to live sexually. The age of sex, the new Aquarian Age, is at hand. The sexual glands are controlled by the planet Uranus which is the ruling planet of the constellation of Aquarius. Thus, sexual alchemy is in fact the science of the new Aquarian Age. Sexual Magic will be officially accepted in the universities of the new Aquarian Age. Those who presume to be messengers of the new Aquarian Age, but nevertheless hate the Arcanum A.Z.F., provide more than enough evidence that they are truly impostors, this is because the new Aquarian Age is governed by the regent of sex. This regent is the planet Uranus.

Regeneration [redemption] is a slow process, but is possible through the grace of God.

But why do I have to depend on a woman's body? Honestly. It is soooo annoying Samael taught that. I'd be happier if I never read about his teachings dammit, but I can't assume I've wasted the past 5 years of my life being concerned about Gnosticism. That takes much more bravery than I have at the moment. Honestly I don't understand what the hell I could have done differently. Sex for 1 hour, or 2 without ejaculation really wasn't intimate for me at all. I don't understand why you all get so excited over entering, or being entered physically. It seems paltry and superficial compared to prayer, nature, Eucharist, liturgy, and even dogma! Why does God give me my most ecstatic experiences in the mass instead of from a girl? It is a bad choice on his side to give me ecstasy in that context, if my salvation depends on a single individual woman, and not the church...