<p>Greetings,</p>
<p>My question is in regards to where I should focus in my work to obtain realization of self. At this point, I have experienced on a number of occasions, physical manifestations of spiritual energy. As such, the signs I look for when determining my progress are normally physical.</p>
<p>For example, the first manifestation that I recognized as the beginning of enlightenment or awakening, was a sensation that manifested in the region between my genitals and anus. This sensation came about when I was studying the Gospel of Thomas where Jesus spoke to Thomas three words. I wanted to know those words and so I began to research it. I came across the mention by a scholar of the three words, kaulaukau, saulausau, zeesar. Apparently, these three words hold a certain power to many Gnostics. I have yet to discover there significance gnostically speaking, but the point I would like to make here is this. When I was researching on the internet those words, I am certain I was thinking of them over and over in my mind as well as writing (typing) them over and over in my search for there meaning. It was at this time the sensation manifested and was unlike any sensation I had ever experienced. I was very uncomfortable with this sensation at first because of the nature of it and the area in which it was occurring. The only way I can describe this feeling, is that it is similar to what I know as orgasm. But this was not a mechanical and filthy sensation as I have experienced in my life as a sinner. It was like an energy emanating from that area of my body along with a slight feeling of pressure around my tale bone.</p>
<p>At this point in my life I had never really meditated, but since I was being exposed to the concept in my study of Gnostic scripture and teachings. It was in my mind when this manifestation was occurring. I searched the internet for similar experiences and I began to see a common theme among my findings. I began to be exposed to concepts such as my root chakra and Kundalini. To my astonishment the various things I came across on the internet about the manifestation that I was having were directly related to meditation and spiritual concepts that I was becoming exposed to.</p>
<p>Since that time the concepts have been repeatedly confirmed to me in various ways throughout my life since then. I have had even more powerful physical manifestations that I know are the energy of The Holy Spirit awakening within me.</p>
<p>However, here is my dilemma. Now if I am not experiencing physical manifestations, I have a hard time knowing if I am doing something wrong or if I have moved past the point of needing a physical manifestation to confirm for me my progress through self realization. I have a feeling that it would be hard for someone to gauge my experience without the full story, but that is very personal to me. There is much that has happened to lead me to where I am, but I am at a point where I feel stuck. I am listening to the teachings and reading the readings, but my meditation is much harder for me to understand lately without the physical manifestation of The Spirit to confirm I am on the right path.</p>
<p>Have I strayed from the path or is it just another level that I must begin to recognize the signs that are manifested in a way appropriate for this step in the process?</p>
<p>Thank you for any help and may Peace and Love be abundant in you.</p>