<p>Do you really believe that you KNOW things about the spiritual realms or even the world you live in, or that Samuel did? I just don't understand this whole idea of searching for GNOSIS, considering I can't think or speak of anything I actually KNOW.... I'm confounded that you think you do KNOW things. I, frankly, can't understand it at all. Help, I need enlightening very badly apparently! I feel left out and extremely spiritually challenged, considering my lack of ability to even comprehend experience at all, in the very least, and definitely not the way this site explains humans should be able to. I'm lost totally.</p>
<p>I always thought we had to believe in the fact, Christ came to earth, that the Eucharist is the body and blood, so that's my back-ground. You say you can KNOW, but I've had dreams, visions, and even felt like I was at the crucifixion before, but I realize it's my imagination, and even if it was real, I can't convince myself I KNOW that it did happened. I have to believe that it did. Help!!!! I've been a follower of this site and Samael for years, printing your meditation guide, twice, maybe three times through independent publishing, spent countless hours, weeks, months, directing my awareness in mantras, transmutations, mass, penance, confession, fasting, lectio divina, the rosary, liturgy of the hours, studying the classics in college and free time, etymology of words, spending enormous amounts of time in the woods alone in prayer, observation, and contemplation, the list goes on and on, but I can't think of anything I KNOW, what am I doing wrong?</p>
<p>Please help. I'm trying to see what I'm supposed to do to KNOW something, but I just see myself as a huge failure in that regard. I don't know how bad my Karma must be, but my life is enjoyable, I am happy, I just want to understand how to KNOW something especially outside of what you're experiencing in your three brains!!!! I think I've experienced something beyond thought, feelings, but it's still so impossible to define and explain, since it just happens to me, even if I've sinned recently, it's happened even a few hours after I'd had orgasms, it's like a intense presence that enters into my awareness, conforming my thoughts, emotions, and even making my body come under its' control. I can't explain this, but nothing makes sense right now. Please help.</p>
<p>Also, did the gates of hell really prevail against the Church, so Samael needed to come to earth to rescue it? Jesus said that wouldn't happen, so was Samael even needed at all? </p>
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