[Al-Jurayri] said that whoever does not establish awe of duty (through respecting the practices of this tradition and being consistent with one's practices) and vigilance in his relationship to God (signifying self-observation) will not arrive at disclosure of the unseen or contemplation (mushahadah, to bear witness) of the divine. —Al-Qushayri, Al-Risalah
Therefore, to know God, you must perform your duties: meditation, prayer, mantra recitation, and sexual transmutation. Conserve your energies. Reflect on the scriptures that resonate with your heart the most. In conjunction with this, you can work with
The Perfect Matrimony and
Treatise of Revolutionary Psychology!
The key to success in worship lies in meditative reflection (fikrat)…whoever persists in such reflection in the heart will behold the invisible realm in the spirit.
Whoever contemplates God through keeping watch over the thoughts which pass through his heart will be exalted by God in all of his outward deeds.
–Dhū’l-Nūn Miṣrī in ‘Aṭṭār: Tadhkirat, 154-155
Regarding masturbation, do not vacillate in your oaths to preserve and maintain chastity. Do not waver. The more indecisive you are about your choices, the more you will suffer.
You must be ruthless with yourself. Give no ground. Do not entertain the thoughts of the abominable ego, those fornicating infidels in your mind who speak ill of Allah (may He be exalted). Your God is within you and is waiting to aid you in battle, but you must cooperate with His efforts!