I have read a few posts so far on here by young guys who have met a female with whom they felt a particular affinity, and I find this very touching because I am in a similar situation.
I started following Swami Sivananda's instructions in Practice of Brahmacharya in 2009 and I discovered The Perfect Matrimony by Samael Aun Weor in mid-2011. Back then I had met one girl whom I thought was the right one, but things did not work out between us and so I have had to move on. About a year after that, I met an attractive person at work. We liked each other a lot, but at that stage she was too young for dating. So I left town and travelled around for a while, and after two years I have come back to live in this town where we met two years ago.
That her and I could not be together straight away was probably for the best, as it gives me the opportunity to return to my Gnostic studies and spiritual program and to get established in employment and household life.
The relationship between myself and my friend has all the potential to turn into a happy marriage. Right now, however, things are quite dismal. I want to clear my name of various sins I have acquired over the years and I have managed to narrow down the list to several ugly habits that have plagued me for a long time. Out of all these the one I am most scandalised by is pornography addiction. I get the sense that in order to lay the foundation for a happy Gnostic marriage, I must become well-established in chastity. I would also like to become well-prepared to educate my future wife and the public on the same topic.
As pornography is a big problem, and sexual fantasy is also a big problem, I don't know whether it is better to discontinue thinking of her altogether or to try replacing impure thoughts of her with pure thoughts of her. Some pornography producers deceitfully market their product as very artistic and refined, but in Christian parlance, pornography abuse is adultery and fornication, correct? I have seen relationships destroyed by it before and would like to avoid this happening to me or anyone else. Sexual aberrations have also given me a really bad temper and this is something I need to overcome as well.
I'd just like some more information on the virtue of fidelity and how it applies to chastity, and whether there are some Bible verses or chapters anyone can recommend. I was also wondering about the names Lilith and Nahemah and whether I need to know more about these (deities? demons?) to overcome my undesirable habits.
Finally, as well as getting re-established in Brahmacharya, I would find it helpful to have access to the resources necessary for me to communicate Gnostic philosophy to a female friend who is intelligent and fairly open-minded about spiritual topics, but who has not read The Perfect Matrimony or anything about Brahmacharya.
Any suggestions would be appreciated - thanks for reading.