Yeah. Must be site troubles. That's the ticket. :P
There are some very clear and obvious answers to many of the quandaries and doubts that you've raised, but I'm not going to share them because my perception is that is not what you really need. You've pretty much said as much yourself, in your closing paragraph, where you indicated that even if we were to try to respond to you, you wouldn't believe anything we said.
(This might be why your post keeps getting deleted...)
But since you seem persistent, I am going to make a few observations.
The point is that it's a lot of unsubstantiated dogma. And you believe it. You don't know it; there is no gnosis involved. You simply believe what he says. Or perhaps, what you were shown. But given the fact that you have been told what to expect, your subconscious predisposition to fulfill what you are told, negates any genuine appeal to objectivity.
First of all, I would find it rather remarkable if your clairvoyant perception was so finely attuned that you could see the mental state of anonymous people over the Internet. That would be a rare trait indeed. A far more common trait is that we tend to project our own mental state onto our internal images of others.
So maybe you
are the one who believes the unsubstantiated dogma. Or you did, and perhaps now you are experiencing disbelief.
Either way, your post conveys a sense of suffering, a type of pain, that I suspect comes from a mind that feels like it has been violated or betrayed.
It is clear that you have been studying this doctrine for a while, and you have asked many earnest questions on these forums (yes, I know you changed your name to make this post). And after all that, you come up with this. It seems you have finally become at least partially cognizant of the fact that you were handling these teachings like a belief system. It is good that you have made this realization. I commend you on breaking free of that bondage. The last thing we want is to create more slavery for the mind. These teachings are not meant to imprison our minds into concepts and ideas.
So now you are free. Well done. I'm certainly not going to try to write some words to lock you away again, to convince you to "believe." Everyone should be free to think whatever they want to think.
But the question is, now that you are free, where will you go? Are you going to get caught up again in the battle of the antitheses, into the dichotomy of belief and disbelief? Will you leave your prison cell behind in exchange for a new pair of shackles? Are you going to lock up your mind again?
My advice to you, which you are free to reject, is to leave that whole struggle behind. It is tiring. And there is no argument or explanation that can make it better. The mind can never know the Truth. The only solution is to break free of that duality.
If these objections you have raised are too overwhelming for you, you are welcome to leave. No one here wants to force or pressure anyone to stay, nor do we want to dominate anyone's mind (by means of arguments). And honestly, your soul is at stake here. When the stakes are that high, you should not be following the guidance of blinking lights on a computer screen. You should be seeking to know the will of your Inner God.
I recommend you reflect on the links I have posted below.