I have a problem which confused me always a lot in the past and it is about remembering God, when I was a muslim I always wondered how can I concentrate on anything in this life and I suppose only and always to think of God? when I was studying my lessons in school and college I was having that conflict and confusion how could I focus on the organic compounds not the creator of the chemical elements? How can I concern and think deeply in work of the macro-phage virus and forget about God and his blessings and his commandments and teachings? How can I listen to people while I must listen to God through reading his book? How can I talk to somebody while I should talk only to God through prayers?
Then by reading on the mystic view about pantheism as God exists in every thing means God forms or effects are in the life itself to contemplate in, where God manifestations are represented by the beauty of any thing and the ugliness of any thing is is just the illusion or the devil deception like a mask or dust over the painting.
This battle in the brain I found it in the non-duality school in Hinduism and in Taoism and Buddhism where there is no difference between the Atman and Brahman (know thyself and you should know God).
Also Al-hallaj talked about this concept when he said "Are you or me this in two gods? ..... Heaven forbids me from proving two".
In Buddhism we have to be aware in every action we do, while we eat we only think of eating this food at that moment when we read we don't have to think of the memories or daydream in fantasies, when we walk we observe our bodies telling ourselves we are walking now....we are walking now, to transform it to a conscious action and that is how we attain self realization. As much as possible we have to focus on what we are doing, on our effort to be in harmony and the results to be like perfect.
That sounds to me the right thing, we can say that beauty (which is relative and should not of course lead to bad results) is God and ugliness is absence of God or false masks on the higher truth.
But when we come to meditation all that related within the one-point concentration where here comes the thing that all esoterists seek hard, it is nothingness, no thought, no breath, no action no non-action no thing no space no time where master Samael said "God searches the nothingness to fill it" and I think that is what is called Samadhi or enlightenment or the goal of the whole path, where when one reaches it he couldn't express his perception nor his feeling neither his sensation, it is beyond rest and tranquility.
What should I think till I reach the liberation? I read that after every breath we should remember the force holding our blessing of life, we should praise God in our heart to not do the wrong actions, that will lead to occupying the divine before and during and after the actions which will be portions of mere abstract action and mere self remembrance not all God or not all actions, something in the middle (Tao) between the materialistic and the spiritualistic issue.
I hope you sense my problem in your perception of years of suffering.
All eternal love to you and regards <3