Tuesday, 14 February 2012
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<p>My sexual energies were starting to return just prior to my last question being answered. After much prayer to my Divine mother for rejouvination and healing, potency returned.<br /> <br /> The past few weeks I have had 3 nocturnal polutions each one my joy and bliss was gone and replaced by an empty feeling. I thought that I had been transmuting correctly because my child self was re-emerging and I was filled with complete bliss and joy all day long, and had as much energy as I did when I was a child.<br /> <br /> Each time I lost the Christic force I realized that my transmutation techniques were not working and went in search of  one that actually would. <br /> <br /> For each of the following, until I had a nocturnal failure, I practiced every morning and evening:<br /> <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>Samael's PranaYama outlined in his lecture on transmutation (about 10 minutes each session)</li>
<li>Samael's Sit like a frog and say ribbit (this technique is worse than prana yamas at least those bring bliss)</li>
<li>One I came up with involving listening to my favorite classical allegros or andantes and using my hands to try to pull the energy up and over my head. (this brings bliss but the energy seems to fall back down within the next hour)</li>
<li>Ham Sah's which has been my most recent and still have had no wet dreams...</li>
</ul>
<p><br /> However, now I have become VERY cynical, low energy, Sarcastic, and hopeless. I have lost dream awareness, and  have once again become plagued with compulsive thought, and cannot stop identifying with the mind.<br /> <br /> (Though 2 days ago at the store, for the first time I had a disociation where I was at the store talking to a friend when all of a sudden I was in the presence of my father and mother and saw my current interaction as an illusion, and sensed her being and its really hard to explain...) but if I am a demon now because of my failures then why am is this stuff happening.<br /> <br /> My first nocturnal pollution I was depressed all day long and hated myself and tried to take on the negitive karma of all the world and almost committed suicide which wold have been my plan had that succeeded. Better me, just the one of me pay for everyones crimes than everyone suffer. I still want to do this, but every time I try my being for some reason prevents it. <img class="bb-smiley" src="/components/com_easydiscuss/assets/vendors/markitup/sets/bbcode/images/emoticon-unhappy.png" border="0" alt=":(" /><br /> <br /> My second one my ego convinced me I was a demon and that I now had to start acting like a demon but my roommate helped me to realize that a demon wouldn't be nice (hard to explain, kind of personal too)<br /> <br /> My third one I made it a point not to let ego get me down but my head felt empty and depression could not be helped.<br /> <br /> Now with these stupid Poisoninioskirian vibrations depression is dragging me down, child self is no where to be found, and I have no energy. I am completely dissociated from my dreams like I am watching a movie.<br /> <br />  </p>

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10 years ago
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#572
Each technique is a method of directing and transforming energy. You have proven to yourself that the techniques work, because you experienced the results of each technique. However, you must be aware of the force of resistance.

In order to become a Kosmos Human, it is necessary to learn how the Three Primary Forces of the universe—positive, negative and neutral—manifest themselves.

On the path that leads to the Kosmos Human (a path totally positive), we see that every positive force is always opposed by a negative force.

Through self-observation we must perceive the mechanism of the opposing force.

Whenever we propose to carry out a special action, whether it be annihilating an ego, controlling sexual energy, doing a special work, or executing a definite program, we must observe and calculate the force of resistance, because by nature the world and its mechanicity tends to provoke resistance and such resistance is doubled.

The more gigantic the enterprise, the greater the resistance will be. If we learn to calculate the resistance, we will also be able to develop the enterprise with success. This is where the capacity of the genius, of the enlightened one, is.

Resistance

Resistance is the opposing force. Resistance is the secret weapon of the ego.

Resistance is the psychic force of the ego that is opposed to us becoming conscious of all of our psychological defects.

With resistance, the ego tends to leave on a tangent and postulates excuses to silence or hide its error.

Due to resistance, dreams become difficult to interpret and the knowledge that one wants to have about oneself becomes clouded.

Resistance acts upon a defense mechanism that tries to omit unpleasant psychological errors, so as not to have consciousness of them. In this way, one continues in psychological slavery. - Samael Aun Weor, Revolution of the Dialectic


Stated simply, a loss of force is not the fault of a technique, it is a fault of something in yourself. There are many elements inside of us that do not want to lose power over us.

"Do not worry; cultivate the habit of being happy." - Samael Aun Weor

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