<p>Thank You Gnostic Teachings! I would like to share with you (since you invited me to) my experience of the disintegration of the "I" of Lust. I'll try to keep it brief and to the point, but a little context will be necessary.</p>
<p>As a small child I was traumatized by the Catholic hierarchy (I will spare you the details, save reference to an excellent psychiatric analysis of the methods used, <span style="font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline;">Soul Murder: Persecution in the Family</span> by Morton Schatzman) These methods nearly pushed me to the edge of suicide. In my early twenties however (roughly twenty years ago) I experienced a trans-formative energy rise up my spine, blow open my mind's inner eye and ear, and provide me with the energy and drive to face and grapple with my buried inner darkness. And I inched and crawled in this work, little by little for many years, eventually grinding down to a near standstill. I had gone as far as possible in solitude.</p>
<p>In May of 2010, after listening to your lectures on and off for a couple of years, and taking seriously more and more what I had learned, I had my second healing transformation. Late one night, at the peak of a marital conflict heading toward divorce, struggling with alcoholism, I have the sensation of an unusual light gradually forming in my chest. I began (uncharacteristic of me) to beg frantically to this light to make me the vessel to my wifes pain, over and over. I felt a tight, heavy darkness rapidly shrink up and disappear in my chest. (In hindsight, I turned strong impressions of distrust into a state of trust, and that's when it happened.) In it's place was light, joy, emptiness, and the distinct sense of The Feminine. I couldn't get the smile off my face for days. This experience wiped out all desire to drink. For the first time in my life, and since, there is NO temptation what-so-ever. In fact, the thought of drinking is slightly repulsive now. Also, I had an occupational physical a couple days later to discover my eyesight had become better than 20/20, which it had been for years, and I pretty much stopped wearing sunglasses most of the time--my eyes are no longer light sensitive. So this is documented physical evidence that unwasted sexual energy can indeed be transformed into an increase of consciousness. I am like a new man. Correction: I AM a new man.</p>
<p>So thank you everyone at GT, I could not have done it without you.</p>
<p>Ps My innerwork was eventually expresed in writing (organized around the concepts of George Orwell), I wrote, designed, and published a book. Inspired by Samael Aun Weor, I give this book away in digital formats for free. Orwell portrays society with specific socially patterened psychological issues, while Samael Aun Weor's work directly addressed these specific problems. The two men really have more in common than you might think. (So please help yourself, if interested, to a free digital copy of my book <em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Orwell's Warning: The Greatest Amerikan Paradox</span></em> @ http://www.orwellswarning.info
If you find our resources useful and want others to benefit as well, make a donation to Glorian Publishing. Every donation makes a difference.