Dear Teacher,
I have been seeing a guy of 40 year-old for almost a year now.
He smokes heavily and eats bad food. By bad foods, I mean heavily preserved/colored food, like noodle/tofu/meatball (yes, our street food uses formaldehyde as preservative and textile-dyes for food coloring). I care for this guy, and been worrying if his physical body gets ruined soon by these habits. I tried to make him care for his body better. During our daily conversation, often I slipped in facts about bad/good foods effects to the body/organ.
Until now, I haven't seen improvement. If anything, it gets worse. He smokes heavier these days, from 1 pack before, to 2 packs now. Sometimes, he even ate heavily-preserved/colored food, just to spite me, or so it seemed. I realize that my own habits, or my talks about physical health, to him maybe feel like undermining his pride. So maybe, he just wanted to show that he did not care.
I cannot use religious/spiritual view points to discuss about our life habits. Because, although he was brought up in Islam tradition, he is not too invested in it. He doesn't pray the 5 times daily, or fasting during Ramadan, or reading Qur'an/Tafsir, or even mention Islamic law, in any life decision/situation.
I don't know what to do now. Kindly help.
Thanks, Noni
I have been seeing a guy of 40 year-old for almost a year now.
He smokes heavily and eats bad food. By bad foods, I mean heavily preserved/colored food, like noodle/tofu/meatball (yes, our street food uses formaldehyde as preservative and textile-dyes for food coloring). I care for this guy, and been worrying if his physical body gets ruined soon by these habits. I tried to make him care for his body better. During our daily conversation, often I slipped in facts about bad/good foods effects to the body/organ.
Until now, I haven't seen improvement. If anything, it gets worse. He smokes heavier these days, from 1 pack before, to 2 packs now. Sometimes, he even ate heavily-preserved/colored food, just to spite me, or so it seemed. I realize that my own habits, or my talks about physical health, to him maybe feel like undermining his pride. So maybe, he just wanted to show that he did not care.
I cannot use religious/spiritual view points to discuss about our life habits. Because, although he was brought up in Islam tradition, he is not too invested in it. He doesn't pray the 5 times daily, or fasting during Ramadan, or reading Qur'an/Tafsir, or even mention Islamic law, in any life decision/situation.
I don't know what to do now. Kindly help.
Thanks, Noni
Accepted Answer
I also have family members who pursue habits that I consider harmful. I also attempted to guide them, but they instead pursued their habits even more. I am now meditating on these insights:
I still pray for them, but I am trying to work more on my own problems.
"Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections of others, for thou has many faults and imperfections of thine own that require forbearance." - Thomas a Kempis
"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." - Thomas a Kempis
I still pray for them, but I am trying to work more on my own problems.
“Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes.” —Demosthenes
"Do not worry; cultivate the habit of being happy." —Samael Aun Weor
"Do not worry; cultivate the habit of being happy." —Samael Aun Weor
Thanks for your insights, Teacher. I supposed, I should not attempt to do anything externally any further, but use prayers only for him. As of myself, I am working on my own bad habits, also, simultaneously
Accepted Answer
I also have family members who pursue habits that I consider harmful. I also attempted to guide them, but they instead pursued their habits even more. I am now meditating on these insights:
I still pray for them, but I am trying to work more on my own problems.
"Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections of others, for thou has many faults and imperfections of thine own that require forbearance." - Thomas a Kempis
"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." - Thomas a Kempis
I still pray for them, but I am trying to work more on my own problems.
“Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes.” —Demosthenes
"Do not worry; cultivate the habit of being happy." —Samael Aun Weor
"Do not worry; cultivate the habit of being happy." —Samael Aun Weor
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