Surely, perfect chastity is not attained by simple means. Although I am chaste in the physical sense and continue working on it with sincerity, I understand I must attain it in the subconscious, unconscious, and infraconscious planes of myself. I realized my being, perhaps my Divine Mother, sets me up with these sexual tests in the astral plane to let me overcome my lust. Recently I've been becoming a little more aware of these events in the astral plane. And I've noticed how my demon of an ego takes complete control and overwhelms me, up to the point of a nocturnal emission. This has happened twice ever since I have been recently focusing on Dream Yoga to take my spiritual journey a step further. I
I feel down when I fail in these sexual tests. How am I aware of it happening, but not able to control myself? Is this my personal karma that I have to deal with? I read the recent article you posted up, "the meditation of Tao." And I will exactly do that is asked of me. When I have followed one of your instructor's suggestion of performing the Eucharist before I sleep (by the way, how important is having a perfumed cloth for the bread?), the act of praying has helped me deeply develop my faith. Slowly, but surely with Thelema, I hope to continue my walk.
I feel down when I fail in these sexual tests. How am I aware of it happening, but not able to control myself? Is this my personal karma that I have to deal with? I read the recent article you posted up, "the meditation of Tao." And I will exactly do that is asked of me. When I have followed one of your instructor's suggestion of performing the Eucharist before I sleep (by the way, how important is having a perfumed cloth for the bread?), the act of praying has helped me deeply develop my faith. Slowly, but surely with Thelema, I hope to continue my walk.