My testimony

<p>When I was asked to share my testimony the first time, I didn't put in as much effort as I should have because I was rushing to get to work on time. However if it's alright with you, I'd like to try again please.<br />Giving a testimony of all the things Abba has done for me was something I use to day dream about all the time, however to be honest I only thought about it. I didn't attempt to make the effort to get a pen and paper out and write my story, since I've come into these studies I'm realizing now that the things I do and think are actually very common because with out telling anyone about my feelings, Gnostic seems to know, everything just begins to make sense w/these studies, Most of my many questions are being answered here and it's amazing to see how many human beings think and feel the same way I do. My neteru king brought these studies to my attention and I didn't really pay much attention to them at first. I was still very worldy. However I can't live with out this knowledge, having to reflect and see myself for who and what I truly have been has not and at times is not AN EASY ROAD TO WALK..."Heaven save me from these evil deeds before I get them done" PLEASE, CAUSE I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN. I've been a whore, a gossiper, a lier, a cheater, I've hurt  and betrayed people, I've been a lover of this world and turned a deaf ear to the message, ran from the good to be with the bad, partook of unhealthy activilty's....How many things I pray the father will forgive. Still despite my many down falls Abba, Jesus still wanted me? Family I've cried so much this past year, early last year is when I got heavy in the studies. And traveling this road called the "razor's edge" is one in which the warrior must be brave and fight tempation, but it's eye opening. I'm a child whose lost her way, and Gnostic is helping me to find my way back home. Here on earth I'm called another name, but heaven changed my name, I'm known as a whole other person and I like that person and I aim to become like her. AN ANGEL, made over for the better. A GOD hearing women who heeds the word when she's spoken too. A women of Light. Even my divine mother has allowed me to see and hear her goodness and I'm still a work in progress, whose done going around in circles. I'm moving on up a little higher little by little. This knowledge has helped me remember what I forgot, Gnostic is confirming for me that I'm on the right path. Even when it seems like the speech is harsh, I know it's for our own good...Were all children in the sight of heaven so they're more like parents who are stern when need be. TRUST ME, I'M TALKING ABOUT I KNOW WHEN I SAY THIS. I struggle everyday and I pray for the strength to pass these test's before me, because giving into our desires not ONLY LEADS TO SUFFERING FOR JUST OURSELVES, but our loved ones as well. I've been foolish and selfish prior to these studies and still I'm hardheaded, but I AM NOT FORSAKEN or FORGOTTEN. I'm trying to rid myself of these demons I've created and still I fall down at times, and when I do fall. The punishment from heaven is enough to make you beg for an old fashioned whipping and than all is forgiven, however it doesn't work like that, you hurt not only yourself but, you can actually cause your loved ones and spirit guides to suffer too. "Father forgive me, cause I really do not know what it is I do". GOD loves baby and fools and I have been a fool, but still I know now I was never alone through it all, I was and pray that I still am loved from on high. And I pray for the strength to be changed for the better. And I pray that you students are as well and that you apply it and you pass this test called life, apply everything we've been taught and make the right choices always, not only will you be happy you did, but it will keep you sane as well. I love you heaven, I love you Gnostic and I love you my brothers and sister's whom I have yet to meet. Please pray for one another and this World.<br />Stay in the light, remain children of the most high GOD, and always, always preach the gospel. <br /> <br /> </p>