I'm giving my testimony in order to encourage my brothers and sisters reading and studying hard here, and to extend my undying gratitude to all those brothers and sisters instructing and working as Glorian Publishing.
I've been learning about this Gnostic doctrine for some odd years, and I began to study here with Glorian Publishing around two years ago. I studied so hard and read so much of the books of Samael Aun Weor. I listened to hundreds of hours of lectures. I read who knows how many text articles on this website.
Yet as these past two years went on and I studied and memorized and studied and memorized, my world became heavier and heavier. I became cynical, I became fanatic, I became moralistic, I became depressed and anxious. I sought refuge in smoking cannabis. I whipped my mind into a black hurricane.
I didn't practice stillness of the mind. Instead, paranoia developed inside of me. I used my mind to spy on my mind. I felt so much pain. I became lifeless and the walls of my reality closed in.
By grace, I came to an experience of the silence of the mind.
My life changed in that experience. The Silence came through relaxation, as if it was always there. It's as if, through gentleness, my consciousness peeled apart the middle of my thinking.
What is amazing is that in this space of Silence, I was still aware of my thoughts! Yet they disturbed me not. Before, I always tried to obliterate my thoughts with will. I hurt myself that way.
In this Silence, I saw many images and scenes flow, yet wherever I was, there I was! An untouchable point or axis of awareness. It's as if the consciousness is a clear glass through which light passes flawlessly.
In this unbelievably open space of Silence, gratitude and compassionate understanding was there in me. Even the thoughts in myself I used to hate came to my sight with gratitude. Gratitude truly anchored me in this space. "Thank you, Thank you", just poured forth from inside.
To all people who suffer: don't lose hope! The suffering is there in life but there is Silence, surging with creativity, behind it all! Keep practicing relaxation and stillness! Even in your darkest days, you may be closer than you think! Don't lose hope.
I can't express the deep thanks I have to those who are behind Glorian Publishing. Despite my intellectual abuse, if I hadn't studied the countless materials you have provided, I do not know where my life would be now. You helped me prepare for this experience in my self. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
May all beings be happy.
if it’s genuinely inside you,
brings what you Need.” - Rumi