Wednesday, 11 January 2012
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I guess I'm not stating my question clearly.</p>

As I attempt to live life awake, many things that seemed to hold importance no longer do. So much of life is trivial matters to keep us busy. No matter what I look at, it all seems trivial. Yes I could 'busy myself' with esoteric excercises. But I know that at a certain point, I'm just trading one business for another.

When I think about things like my job, hobbies, reading, etc, I have no desire. It seems like in some ways this is in line with the goal of eliminating the 'I'.

I have no pre-concieved notion of what it means to dwell without the I, so it seems empty. It brings to mind the concept of 'void'.

Is there a point in which this void becomes filled with the being? Or do you just continue with the emptiness becoming more of reality since everything is futility.

I know I can pray and ask my being. But I do appreciate another person's perspective.

I'm not sad, and I do appreciate the beauty of life. I just don't feel like a participant any longer.
10 years ago
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#385
Many students write to us concerning this problem of nonchalance, demystification and a dull heart. While it is true that the serious practitioner must work disinterestedly for humanity, it is also essential that the fire of inspiration be within that person. This flame can work as an initial spark, an inquietude, or be as great as a bonfire. Whether we subsist through moments of heightened inspiration or even theophany, or dwell within the profound depths of a spiritual night, it is necessary to work consistently with the practices without expecting benefits.

We have many concepts about this doctrine, but only practical, lived experience can truly liberate the mind and provide it with the third and fourth states of consciousness, known as Dianoia and Nous. Dianoia is awakened consciousness: it indicates "revision of beliefs." This includes even many Gnostic concepts that we think we know, or suspect that we know, when we truly do not. The one who tastes this state of psychological novelty, alert perception, can work towards the latter, which is true illumination of the soul.

Gnosis is not about being disconnected from life and its problems. It is about being engaged in a conscious way. One thing is to be reactionary towards the impressions of life; another is to respond with rectitude, comprehension and love. When we speak about disinterest, it is in the conscious manner, not the egotistical. You have to concentrate and work hard with all of the responsibilities of life, but without getting sucked into them. The way to do it is to develop the qualities of the heart.

My recommendation for you is to mantralize. Use any mantra that stimulates sensitivity in your emotions, such as "Om," "Aum," "Om Tat Sat," "Onro," or possibly the most effective for your needs right now: "Om Masi Padme Hum," which literally translates as "Oh my internal God!" Transmute regularly. Take some time to reflect on an image of divinity that might remotely inspire your interest. Anything that draws your attention. When you find an image that inspires you in any way, meditate on it, work to visualize, and pray with your own words. Ask for a stronger emotional connection with God. Speak in the intimacy of your divinity in meditation. He and She will always concur to the call of the supplicant.

Prayer can help develop your emotions and eradicate such dullness, or the insipid haziness of an untrained mind. Learning to concentrate will eradicate this problem, so that in your daily life, you can be concentrated and focused on your responsibilities in just the same way as a meditation. Then, when you sit to practice, you will be able to focus your mind and actually do the practice since you've been working on your mind all day. Mantras, prayer and transmutation will help facilitate this development.

Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.

Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"

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