I am having trouble with the sexual ego. I am a cancer, I tried and tried to convert it, and eliminate asking my divine mother, I read the books, but its to hard to control, can you help me by giving me with a personal experience?
I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary, but slinks out of the race where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust or heat.
-John Milton, Areopagitica
Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.
Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.
"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"
Every great initiate has struggled terribly in the battle against lust. Both Tchaikovsky and Beethoven, great Masters of Music, described such a war in their sixth symphonies.
Let us remember Arcanum Six, the struggle between the Virgin Divine Mother and the Whore of Revelation. The transcendental axiom of this arcanum states: "Thou art giving me labor, O Lord, and fortitude with it."
Temptation is fire. Triumph over temptation is light. Without spiritual war against temptation, there can be no victory. Without trial by fire within sexuality, there cannot be the revelation and happiness of the soul.
Tchaikovsky's piece is is one of defeat, a powerful depiction of how the dragon of darkness overcomes the initiate when he lets himself fall. Beethoven's work, however, is about triumph over desire, represented by the horrifying electrical storm of passion (the hurricane in the piece) that is succeeded by the rainbow of victory and promise as given to Noah after the flood. The Arc of Noah, the Great Arcanum or Sexual Magic, always elevates the initiates above the deluge when they know how to be faithful to Christ.
Both symphonies described the beauty of the Soul (Tiphereth) and how the knight must do battle against the forces of darkness within so as to conquer his beloved Valkyria (Buddhi, the Divine Soul). Truly, two great works of Royal Art that is not comprehended by the profane!