Dear instructors, today just this morning the person who means most to me in the physical plane descovered the teachings that mean most to me, particularly that I engage with these teachings. The criticism that I received though not particularly violent were like a sword being plunged into the depths of my soul and now I cannot read an article without feeling paranoid and ashamed... Particularly what the person descovered was related to karma as I am learning about the doctrine of karma and how it applies to my situation. I know the person criticised out of love and is trying to protect me but now I am left uneasy and this was an experience I was not prepared for. Of course I am in no place/desire to abandon gnosis but I need to reconsile this emotion... I know gnosis is not bad but the criticism I received made me feel as if I had just killed a room full of people... I was not ready for this. I just wish they had seen anything else, even sexual magic, but what they saw could be very easily malinterpreted... Was this a type of trial? I just wish I could study articles again without the words of the person ringing in my mind...