I find myself struggling with lust/masturbation/sex... These teachings, regarding sexual-transmutation are new and very profound to me, yet I have previously developed lustful habits that I find incredibly difficult to shake. Even knowing and being fully aware of the Great Work I must do, I find myself struggling to find the will to do what I must. I am weak in this regard. And I am ashamed of myself for this. I know I am failing... and falling.
However, I do see it as a positive that my shame is present, when it was not before. I now acknowledge I have a problem. And, it's arguable that the first step in solving a problem is in identifying that problem. Which I have certainly done. Is this a form of spiritual progress, or am I still spiritually "dead", until I follow through with chastity & transmutation?
I feel I am making progress, intellectually. And while I know this is not the goal, I do find it necessary to begin know what one must do. Hence, I press on.
I love the Lord more than I love fornication and sensual desires... At least, I think so. Or, would like to believe so. Yet, my personal actions certainly do not demonstrate this and highlight my error. They expose my fraudulence... I do not want to be a fraud.
I find myself browsing articles on "willpower", and I'm currently reading "How to Overcome Masturbation" on the Chicago Gnosis website. But I clearly lack the willpower I need to overcome this defect of mine, at present.
Can my Divine Mother help, if I pray to her for assistance? Can I appeal to Lucifer for a lighter burden?
I do not ask God, or anyone else, to do this work for me, but rather beg for the strength and wisdom to overcome this ordeal myself.
Is this measurable progress? And, what suggestions might you have for one to find the strength and will to overcome such a defect?
Thank you.
However, I do see it as a positive that my shame is present, when it was not before. I now acknowledge I have a problem. And, it's arguable that the first step in solving a problem is in identifying that problem. Which I have certainly done. Is this a form of spiritual progress, or am I still spiritually "dead", until I follow through with chastity & transmutation?
I feel I am making progress, intellectually. And while I know this is not the goal, I do find it necessary to begin know what one must do. Hence, I press on.
I love the Lord more than I love fornication and sensual desires... At least, I think so. Or, would like to believe so. Yet, my personal actions certainly do not demonstrate this and highlight my error. They expose my fraudulence... I do not want to be a fraud.
I find myself browsing articles on "willpower", and I'm currently reading "How to Overcome Masturbation" on the Chicago Gnosis website. But I clearly lack the willpower I need to overcome this defect of mine, at present.
Can my Divine Mother help, if I pray to her for assistance? Can I appeal to Lucifer for a lighter burden?
I do not ask God, or anyone else, to do this work for me, but rather beg for the strength and wisdom to overcome this ordeal myself.
Is this measurable progress? And, what suggestions might you have for one to find the strength and will to overcome such a defect?
Thank you.