Hello brothers and sisters from glorian i have found you when i was 18 still in highschool now i just turned 19. You have changed my life. Before i was orthodox but since i watched the great arcanum i stopped going to church and started reading everything from glorian. The first 2-3i was making fast progress i felt the love, the compassion, the unity, the oneness of everything that everyone and everything was one and i felt so much love towards everything. The first benefits i felt where in highschool when instead of learning ehat they taught in class i was reading from glorian while the class was going i was glowing during class during school time, everyone was shocked, i was getting so much attention everyone wanted to talk to me , i was full of positive energy and i have never felt so much attention in my life i started being noticed by girls even teachers but even then when i see my self back then now i see that even the because i have never in my life felt so much energy and attention from girls, people i was so happy bit at the same time i just wanted more and more people to give me attention and i think because of that i fell and after finishing highschool i have degenerated i dont have the glow i had, i have so much social anxiety when i go outside and girls sre walking even more when i see some girls from where i was in highschool i have so much fear, anxiety this is only with girls. I have started masturbating since 11 when i first founded your teaching i was practicing semen retention thats how i found. The great arcanum and after that the whole glorian website. As i said i am now just turned 19 i live with my parents, i don't have a job I don't even know what to work, i realy just want to spend my day 24/7 meditating i dont want to work for money that doesn't even have a gold standard that its just printed without ,cover.
I am alone back when i dint know about your teachings even then i had maybe 2 friends now i have zero well when i say friends i mean someone who i can talk the topics like you guys are posting in glorian my parents say that i am in a sect, a cult. I dont mind that. I just want to know how can i organize my life. How to plan my day.
How to stop masturbation, anxiety, fear, suffering. I dont have a plan i am just wasting everyday thinking and thinking what to do.
I tried to meditate, to concentrate, to be conscious here and now. But as i said my biggest problem is that i dont have a plan when i wake up i just do what i think to do i dont have a schedule.
How can i organize my day to day life stop masturbation, stop pornography,stop anxiety, fear, fear of talking to girls, and basically how to plan my day and make a schedule.
Every time i watch pornography after i ejaculate and reach the orgasm i feel spiritually dead, suicidal thoughts come, and i know i should not do it but i still do it.