I have been studying Gnosis for about a year now. So much has happened in that time I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in that year. However, I am getting to a point where I am less receptive and overly critical of the help that I receive. I have learned a lot and it seems that my intellect feels pretty proud about this. I am at a point where I don't even know if my questions are being asked with the right motives.
I began this journey with the meditation course and in the beginning I made a lot of progress. But as time went on, my progress became less and less. I have gained a lot of knowledge of scripture and other sacred things. Thus, it has brought me to a point that I have been to before. Confidence in the "I". Obviously, this is not balanced and must be addressed.
I decided to go back and look at the questions I was asking in the beginning on this forum and read the answers that I was being given. Just by reading those I could see the sincerity that I had in my questions and the receptivity that I had when given answers. It was a beautiful thing to behold. This has been a good study of myself, my patterns, and my nature. It is so easy to fall into being an intellectual kabbalist.
I want to offer some advice to anyone else who is like me and has been studying hard for a long time and has lost that beginners courage of being sincere with and about themselves. Go back to where you started. Do those lessons again. Read your questions in the forum, hear the answers from the instructors. Remember what it was like to be new. Experience that freedom of not knowing, but thirsting to know. Now with a little more wisdom, we can do it again and without making as many mistakes.
Go back to the beginning.