I would like to know how I can improve my practice; When I notice an ego arise in me during the day, especially a notable experience I take note so that when I am able to sit with my eyes closed I go back to that scene. An example of such an event would be; I put my food on the table and go to wash my hands, as I wash my hands someone walks past and asks me if I put my food on the table, I get irritated and then angry that they asked me such a question and so I respond angrily "Yes I did!", they notice my angry pitch and try reason with me that they were only asking, I feel that with my words I hurt them.
When recreating the scene I first only notice the obvious that I was angry, but the more I look I begin to notice that there were other things present, some I know the name of and others I don't, for example the feeling of anger because someone asks me a question is not by itself but it is also combined with a sense of entitlement, pride, exclusion, distrust, fear of judgement yet judging the person for asking which is a total contradiction.
Then seeing the other person get hurt by my response which causes me to feel remorse, sadness for causing them pain. Then I think that the best response should have been to respond with a simple uncomplicated truthful response, joyful with the opportunity to socialise with an honest friendly person.
So now I decide which specific ego to focus on in that scenario connected with the original ego I was meditating on, the angry ego was the most obvious but the other egos were there too in various intensities until they passed. I could focus on the prideful ego that was offended at first igniting the way for the angry ego to arise and make the hurtful comment, the fear, self esteem and other obscure ones that I dont know yet how to approach.
I would then pray to my Divine Mother to eliminate one of those ego's as I don't want to make the mistake of using that machine gun method of elimination which is said to be useless. However I don't know if this is enough, if I was thorough enough, if I did it well enough to make progress. Of course I would like for my Divine Mother to eliminate all of those egos that I detected in those scenes but how and how many egos can we meditate on in one session and ask for their elimination?