Hello, there. Hello, Almustafa, and all the other instructors. I would like to ask some questions, if I may.
Fatigue question:
I have been experiencing fatigue that does not go away easily. I don't know the cause, but I have a feeling that it may be because of not enough Ojas, or kundalini energy traveling up my spine. I have wet dreams ever so often. Maybe like once every 3 weeks. But sometimes I suspect that I might be having them more often, as I am often unaware when they happen (I'm talking about the non-ejaculatory kind). If one is having orgasms frequently, say like once a week, is it typical for the body and mind to experience an overwhelming fatigue throughout the day, as I am? Sometimes the only thing that I can do is just lie in bed. I get like 8 hours of sleep every day, but I constantly feel out of breath and stressed out. I also exercise regularly, but it doesn't make a difference.
Should I continue to improve my chastity and just stay with the fatigue until it goes away? Or should I see my doctor? I already went to see a doctor about this fatigue once, but they couldn't find anything wrong with me. But maybe I should go back. It feels like I have the symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome. So my first main question would be: 1) Could this be a matter of my lack of chastity, or does that not play a role here?
Personal Will question:
I have also been studying about the "letting go of the personal will" and in the teaching, they say that you don't have to move or make any decisions because eventually consciousness will move the body and make decisions of it's own accord.
Many spiritual teachers have talked about this letting go of the personal will. Adyashanti, David Deida, Mooji, etc.
Here is a nice example of Mooji talking about it on YouTube
Right now I'm not working and have some free time do test this theory. But I was wanting to get a second opinion about it from your teachings. I have read Christ's Will and in it SAW emphasizes the virtue of patience and he describes a period in which one waits for "Christ's Will" to happen. Is this an accurate interpretation of the teaching? Does consciousness really start to make decisions for oneself if one waits for long enough? Many teachers have said that this is the key to happiness: letting go of the personal will. I have somewhat been trying to do this but it's difficult because it's tempting for my mind to just do something entertaining or "productive." But another reason why I don't do it is because I don't really know if I should trust these guys, or if I am misunderstanding the teaching. Obviously, you can only speak on behalf of the gnostic teachings. But I sense that you guys also understand this teaching. And so I guess my question is: Is it true that if I sit and be still for long enough, (and provided that I maintain my chastity) that "Christ's Will" will start to take over my life to the extent that it will move my body without me having to make decisions? And could the reason why I'm constantly fatigued and stressed is because I am not already doing this, and most people are? And is it a good idea to wait for that to happen, or is it too impractical, or is there a balance to be had with this???
Any feedback is appreciated. My sincere gratitude goes out to these teachings.
Fatigue question:
I have been experiencing fatigue that does not go away easily. I don't know the cause, but I have a feeling that it may be because of not enough Ojas, or kundalini energy traveling up my spine. I have wet dreams ever so often. Maybe like once every 3 weeks. But sometimes I suspect that I might be having them more often, as I am often unaware when they happen (I'm talking about the non-ejaculatory kind). If one is having orgasms frequently, say like once a week, is it typical for the body and mind to experience an overwhelming fatigue throughout the day, as I am? Sometimes the only thing that I can do is just lie in bed. I get like 8 hours of sleep every day, but I constantly feel out of breath and stressed out. I also exercise regularly, but it doesn't make a difference.
Should I continue to improve my chastity and just stay with the fatigue until it goes away? Or should I see my doctor? I already went to see a doctor about this fatigue once, but they couldn't find anything wrong with me. But maybe I should go back. It feels like I have the symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome. So my first main question would be: 1) Could this be a matter of my lack of chastity, or does that not play a role here?
Personal Will question:
I have also been studying about the "letting go of the personal will" and in the teaching, they say that you don't have to move or make any decisions because eventually consciousness will move the body and make decisions of it's own accord.
Many spiritual teachers have talked about this letting go of the personal will. Adyashanti, David Deida, Mooji, etc.
Here is a nice example of Mooji talking about it on YouTube
Right now I'm not working and have some free time do test this theory. But I was wanting to get a second opinion about it from your teachings. I have read Christ's Will and in it SAW emphasizes the virtue of patience and he describes a period in which one waits for "Christ's Will" to happen. Is this an accurate interpretation of the teaching? Does consciousness really start to make decisions for oneself if one waits for long enough? Many teachers have said that this is the key to happiness: letting go of the personal will. I have somewhat been trying to do this but it's difficult because it's tempting for my mind to just do something entertaining or "productive." But another reason why I don't do it is because I don't really know if I should trust these guys, or if I am misunderstanding the teaching. Obviously, you can only speak on behalf of the gnostic teachings. But I sense that you guys also understand this teaching. And so I guess my question is: Is it true that if I sit and be still for long enough, (and provided that I maintain my chastity) that "Christ's Will" will start to take over my life to the extent that it will move my body without me having to make decisions? And could the reason why I'm constantly fatigued and stressed is because I am not already doing this, and most people are? And is it a good idea to wait for that to happen, or is it too impractical, or is there a balance to be had with this???
Any feedback is appreciated. My sincere gratitude goes out to these teachings.
Accepted Answer
Regarding Christification, study this!
Experiential wisdom belongs to the consciousness, not to memory, desire, or the intellect.
Rest and work must be balanced in harmony. Only you can gauge your abilities.
The consciousness knows how to act intuitively from the Being. It is the mind that falters between yes and no, positive and negative, good and bad.
Christ will is compassion, which we develop in degrees. However, it is more robust throughout the Venustic Initiations until it is perfected through resurrection.
Knowing how to act through the will of the Being is achievable only through overcoming The Struggle of the Opposites.
There are relative degrees of conscious love. Some who attain Nirvana have more or less compassion, since every initiate has their own level of being (relative to how much ego has been annihilated).
One doesn’t need to annihilate all the ego to enter Nirvana. In fact, most who enter that realm have a lot of animality regardless of their spiritual achievements.
Those who are satisfied with the Fifth Initiation of Fire stay there, while those who yearn for more do so out of sacrifice, not for their own glory, but God’s. Therefore, bodhisattvas fully commit to the tremendous work of disintegrating ALL the ego.
Experiential wisdom belongs to the consciousness, not to memory, desire, or the intellect.
Rest and work must be balanced in harmony. Only you can gauge your abilities.
The consciousness knows how to act intuitively from the Being. It is the mind that falters between yes and no, positive and negative, good and bad.
Christ will is compassion, which we develop in degrees. However, it is more robust throughout the Venustic Initiations until it is perfected through resurrection.
Knowing how to act through the will of the Being is achievable only through overcoming The Struggle of the Opposites.
There are relative degrees of conscious love. Some who attain Nirvana have more or less compassion, since every initiate has their own level of being (relative to how much ego has been annihilated).
One doesn’t need to annihilate all the ego to enter Nirvana. In fact, most who enter that realm have a lot of animality regardless of their spiritual achievements.
Those who are satisfied with the Fifth Initiation of Fire stay there, while those who yearn for more do so out of sacrifice, not for their own glory, but God’s. Therefore, bodhisattvas fully commit to the tremendous work of disintegrating ALL the ego.
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Yes, losing your sexual energy frequently will result in fatigue. However, there might be more underlying medical causes.
Keep practicing transmutation, but also consider consulting a physician or doctor since your problems persist.
Incarnating Christ's will is a matter of The Venustic Initiation. However, we can gain glimpses through practicing runes and developing sparks of Christ's will.
Do not disassociate yourself from your consciousness. You ARE the consciousness that can act and make decisions, but this is not discovered through intellectual analysis or deliberation. It is intuitive knowledge and action: knowing how to be without having to rely so much on thought.
You cannot wait around to be. You must learn to perform your activities consciously. Or if you are resting, you should be active with your consciousness and passive with your body, personality, and intellect. This is being present here and now.
Your stress could be compounded with other factors. I suggest that you take the time to reflect on what your desires want, since examining them clearly, without contrivance or artifice, will allow you to understand how to be in life.
Christ's will doesn't mean we do nothing. It means that we act from our true nature, our legitimate identity. You can only taste that the more you observe yourself and develop presence of mind in the moment.
In the beginning, the intellect predominates. Being conscious doesn't mean we do not think. It means we know how to think, and to use thought when necessary. But finding that balance and knowing such distinctions requires a lot of familiarity and experience with meditation.
Keep practicing transmutation, but also consider consulting a physician or doctor since your problems persist.
Incarnating Christ's will is a matter of The Venustic Initiation. However, we can gain glimpses through practicing runes and developing sparks of Christ's will.
Do not disassociate yourself from your consciousness. You ARE the consciousness that can act and make decisions, but this is not discovered through intellectual analysis or deliberation. It is intuitive knowledge and action: knowing how to be without having to rely so much on thought.
You cannot wait around to be. You must learn to perform your activities consciously. Or if you are resting, you should be active with your consciousness and passive with your body, personality, and intellect. This is being present here and now.
Your stress could be compounded with other factors. I suggest that you take the time to reflect on what your desires want, since examining them clearly, without contrivance or artifice, will allow you to understand how to be in life.
Christ's will doesn't mean we do nothing. It means that we act from our true nature, our legitimate identity. You can only taste that the more you observe yourself and develop presence of mind in the moment.
In the beginning, the intellect predominates. Being conscious doesn't mean we do not think. It means we know how to think, and to use thought when necessary. But finding that balance and knowing such distinctions requires a lot of familiarity and experience with meditation.
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Thank you so much, Almustafa. I would really like to continue this conversation. I really want to understand this, so I will reply to some things you said. Questions will be in bold. (Sorry if this is annoying)
I read the article (and others on the topic), but it's too esoteric for me to make sense of it. It's clear that I have to christify the mental, astral, causal, etc. bodies, but what does it mean to christify something? To not identify with these aspects? I also understand the part about renouncing Nirvana to help humanity. I don't think that's a concern for me. I really think that I would help people once my compassion develops, I'm not the type of person that would just sit in a blissful meditative state for the rest of my life and do nothing.
Yes, I am aware that my true identity is consciousness itself. The witness of everything. This is how I've been meditating now; redirecting my awareness back onto itself, and also seeing that my thoughts are based on my past, which is gone and not real anymore. I also don't identify with my current feelings, even though I might still be carrying stress. And I also train my consciousness (or maybe I should say "myself") to see my personal volitions/will as something that isn't really who I am. This is what my meditation is like now. I also try to stay grounded as consciousness as I carry out daily tasks. The concept of my real identity being consciousness is intellectual, but I put it into practice by meditating and staying grounded. And so, correct me if I'm wrong, but couldn't it be said that it's experiential for me now, not just intellectual?
I do try to maintain my groundedness at all times, and I will continue to. The "problem" is that I often hold so much lingering stress and tension (fear, you could say) in my body that I rather not make any important decisions in life (like selecting a job) until I am more compassionate and less fearful. I am keenly aware of how much suffering I create in the world (and for myself) when I act out of stress and fear. Surely you would agree that it's okay to rest and meditate until I feel better.
Yes, I agree. And have already been doing this somewhat. My desires just seem to crave the usual insatiable things that most human beings crave, such as social approval, social status, etc. I know intellectually that trying to satiate these desires is an impossibility, but the temptations still arise in the mind. My practice is to stay grounded as awareness and not identify with these temptations.
But does there ever get to a point where consciousness begins to move and make decisions without the deliberation of the mind? I guess I am just so utterly disillusioned with my personal will, that I don't see the point in doing anything (except basic survival things) until I develop real compassion. I am tired of my ego/mind sabotaging everything I do. Every job I get, every relationship, etc.
I asked you this question earlier here: https://glorian.org/connect/ask-instructor/25209-will-and-effort
And you said that alchemists develop compassion to the point where they do Christ's will. But I don't understand if you meant that we will be doing Christ's will once we are compassionate, or if you develop compassion first and then wait until Christ's will takes over your decision-making. Can you clarify this? Is it the case that the motivation to act and do something springs forth from consciousness, but then you as consciousness would still have to act on it? Is that motivation to act (out of compassion, to help alleviate the suffering of others) something that can be disregarded? After reading your teachings, specifically about the choice to stay on the spiral path vs. the direct path of the Bodhisattva, it appears to be the case that such motivation to act can be disregarded. Is this correct?
And I guess an even deeper and more perplexing question would be: If one is already resting as consciousness, has already developed compassionate, and is presented with the choice to stay in the bliss of doing nothing, viz. the spiral path vs. the direct path of the Bodhisattva who engages in the world to alleviate the suffering of others, isn't it consciousness itself that would make that decision, and if so, then how can it be wrong? Or is it our selfish nature that keeps us on the Spiral path? But this doesn't make sense because if one is already compassionate, then how could they make a selfish decision?
Yes. Thank you for this. I guess this further supports the notion of the need to act deliberately, and to find balance.
Incarnating Christ's will is a matter of The Venustic Initiation. However, we can gain glimpses through practicing runes and developing sparks of Christ's will.
I read the article (and others on the topic), but it's too esoteric for me to make sense of it. It's clear that I have to christify the mental, astral, causal, etc. bodies, but what does it mean to christify something? To not identify with these aspects? I also understand the part about renouncing Nirvana to help humanity. I don't think that's a concern for me. I really think that I would help people once my compassion develops, I'm not the type of person that would just sit in a blissful meditative state for the rest of my life and do nothing.
Do not disassociate yourself from your consciousness. You ARE the consciousness that can act and make decisions, but this is not discovered through intellectual analysis or deliberation. It is intuitive knowledge and action: knowing how to be without having to rely so much on thought.
Yes, I am aware that my true identity is consciousness itself. The witness of everything. This is how I've been meditating now; redirecting my awareness back onto itself, and also seeing that my thoughts are based on my past, which is gone and not real anymore. I also don't identify with my current feelings, even though I might still be carrying stress. And I also train my consciousness (or maybe I should say "myself") to see my personal volitions/will as something that isn't really who I am. This is what my meditation is like now. I also try to stay grounded as consciousness as I carry out daily tasks. The concept of my real identity being consciousness is intellectual, but I put it into practice by meditating and staying grounded. And so, correct me if I'm wrong, but couldn't it be said that it's experiential for me now, not just intellectual?
You cannot wait around to be. You must learn to perform your activities consciously. Or if you are resting, you should be active with your consciousness and passive with your body, personality, and intellect. This is being present here and now.
I do try to maintain my groundedness at all times, and I will continue to. The "problem" is that I often hold so much lingering stress and tension (fear, you could say) in my body that I rather not make any important decisions in life (like selecting a job) until I am more compassionate and less fearful. I am keenly aware of how much suffering I create in the world (and for myself) when I act out of stress and fear. Surely you would agree that it's okay to rest and meditate until I feel better.
Your stress could be compounded with other factors. I suggest that you take the time to reflect on what your desires want, since examining them clearly, without contrivance or artifice, will allow you to understand how to be in life.
Yes, I agree. And have already been doing this somewhat. My desires just seem to crave the usual insatiable things that most human beings crave, such as social approval, social status, etc. I know intellectually that trying to satiate these desires is an impossibility, but the temptations still arise in the mind. My practice is to stay grounded as awareness and not identify with these temptations.
Christ's will doesn't mean we do nothing. It means that we act from our true nature, our legitimate identity. You can only taste that the more you observe yourself and develop presence of mind in the moment.
But does there ever get to a point where consciousness begins to move and make decisions without the deliberation of the mind? I guess I am just so utterly disillusioned with my personal will, that I don't see the point in doing anything (except basic survival things) until I develop real compassion. I am tired of my ego/mind sabotaging everything I do. Every job I get, every relationship, etc.
I asked you this question earlier here: https://glorian.org/connect/ask-instructor/25209-will-and-effort
And you said that alchemists develop compassion to the point where they do Christ's will. But I don't understand if you meant that we will be doing Christ's will once we are compassionate, or if you develop compassion first and then wait until Christ's will takes over your decision-making. Can you clarify this? Is it the case that the motivation to act and do something springs forth from consciousness, but then you as consciousness would still have to act on it? Is that motivation to act (out of compassion, to help alleviate the suffering of others) something that can be disregarded? After reading your teachings, specifically about the choice to stay on the spiral path vs. the direct path of the Bodhisattva, it appears to be the case that such motivation to act can be disregarded. Is this correct?
And I guess an even deeper and more perplexing question would be: If one is already resting as consciousness, has already developed compassionate, and is presented with the choice to stay in the bliss of doing nothing, viz. the spiral path vs. the direct path of the Bodhisattva who engages in the world to alleviate the suffering of others, isn't it consciousness itself that would make that decision, and if so, then how can it be wrong? Or is it our selfish nature that keeps us on the Spiral path? But this doesn't make sense because if one is already compassionate, then how could they make a selfish decision?
In the beginning, the intellect predominates. Being conscious doesn't mean we do not think. It means we know how to think, and to use thought when necessary. But finding that balance and knowing such distinctions requires a lot of familiarity and experience with meditation.
Yes. Thank you for this. I guess this further supports the notion of the need to act deliberately, and to find balance.
Accepted Answer
Regarding Christification, study this!
Experiential wisdom belongs to the consciousness, not to memory, desire, or the intellect.
Rest and work must be balanced in harmony. Only you can gauge your abilities.
The consciousness knows how to act intuitively from the Being. It is the mind that falters between yes and no, positive and negative, good and bad.
Christ will is compassion, which we develop in degrees. However, it is more robust throughout the Venustic Initiations until it is perfected through resurrection.
Knowing how to act through the will of the Being is achievable only through overcoming The Struggle of the Opposites.
There are relative degrees of conscious love. Some who attain Nirvana have more or less compassion, since every initiate has their own level of being (relative to how much ego has been annihilated).
One doesn’t need to annihilate all the ego to enter Nirvana. In fact, most who enter that realm have a lot of animality regardless of their spiritual achievements.
Those who are satisfied with the Fifth Initiation of Fire stay there, while those who yearn for more do so out of sacrifice, not for their own glory, but God’s. Therefore, bodhisattvas fully commit to the tremendous work of disintegrating ALL the ego.
Experiential wisdom belongs to the consciousness, not to memory, desire, or the intellect.
Rest and work must be balanced in harmony. Only you can gauge your abilities.
The consciousness knows how to act intuitively from the Being. It is the mind that falters between yes and no, positive and negative, good and bad.
Christ will is compassion, which we develop in degrees. However, it is more robust throughout the Venustic Initiations until it is perfected through resurrection.
Knowing how to act through the will of the Being is achievable only through overcoming The Struggle of the Opposites.
There are relative degrees of conscious love. Some who attain Nirvana have more or less compassion, since every initiate has their own level of being (relative to how much ego has been annihilated).
One doesn’t need to annihilate all the ego to enter Nirvana. In fact, most who enter that realm have a lot of animality regardless of their spiritual achievements.
Those who are satisfied with the Fifth Initiation of Fire stay there, while those who yearn for more do so out of sacrifice, not for their own glory, but God’s. Therefore, bodhisattvas fully commit to the tremendous work of disintegrating ALL the ego.
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
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