Tuesday, 28 June 2022
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My spouse and I are both following the path. However, recently our discussion and fights have became worse. I know that this is because ego’s are playing up. I have for sure true love for him.

However, my question is what is the best way to resolve conflict in Gnostic relationships? How should one enact with eachother?

For me it has been difficult to deal with certain ego’s of my spouse that have been insulting me. I truely know that I should stay calm and let his ego’s pas me by. Show compassion. However, I feel this has been extremely difficult for me since this involves matters of the heart and causes me pain.


(Note: As far as our progress is we are both aware that we should reflect and meditate about this problems to truely kill our defects. It would be nice to know how relationship should be dealt with when you are in early stages of development of the path. To have some context and reference)
4 weeks ago
·
#27768
Accepted Answer
You resolve conflict through dialogue and meditation.

Examine which of your own egos are responsible for the fight. Then, if your partner is open, discuss what you've comprehended.

Reflect on what the appropriate course of action would be for yourself rather than having acted on your defects. Allow your partner to do the same if he is willing.

Remember that we must always respect our partner's free will, especially when we do not agree. Persuasion is a much more compelling force than coercion.

Fights occur because the ego tries to coerce the will of our beloved. Therefore, if both of you are practicing, the solution is to establish transparency regarding your own psychological work, not to wave a finger at our spouse's deficiencies.

If this is something you wish to do, speak to your spouse about how you want to change psychologically, not only for your own benefit, but for his. Recommend how this process will strengthen and improve your relationship together, because love is nourished through the death of desire.

One partner can do this alone. It is hard, but it is better than being a victim of our own faults. If both partners are practicing Gnosis, then you have a wonderful opportunity to clearly articulate the root of your problems and to rectify them through meditation and alchemy.

It is well known even amongst laymen that no communication contributes to divorce. Couples who do not talk about what concerns them end up repressing, bottling up, and suffocating their emotions, until when the right moment comes, they explode.

It is better to have some smaller skirmishes here and there than to end it all with WWIII. For that, you have to get comfortable with frequent, uncomfortable situations and conversations. You have to embrace conflict, not with the desire of defeating your partner and proving him wrong, but by elevating and edifying what is most noble in him.

You prevent disaster by speaking honestly about your own sufferings, concerns, and views immediately, so that your partner can listen to you. Then, absolutely, do the same for him, because while you might feel justified in your pain, there might be things you are doing that are harming him.

Samael Aun Weor often spoke about the need to never go to bed angry. This is because resentment is a weed that poisons the garden of marriage. You nullify anger by talking about your issues, and even meditating before and after the event, so that you comprehend what exactly is going on.

By relying on each other to clearly identify both your egos, you have an expedient means to end suffering and secure the happiness of your marriage, since if you both die to your egos, you both can become a perfect matrimony.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

4 weeks ago
·
#27768
Accepted Answer
You resolve conflict through dialogue and meditation.

Examine which of your own egos are responsible for the fight. Then, if your partner is open, discuss what you've comprehended.

Reflect on what the appropriate course of action would be for yourself rather than having acted on your defects. Allow your partner to do the same if he is willing.

Remember that we must always respect our partner's free will, especially when we do not agree. Persuasion is a much more compelling force than coercion.

Fights occur because the ego tries to coerce the will of our beloved. Therefore, if both of you are practicing, the solution is to establish transparency regarding your own psychological work, not to wave a finger at our spouse's deficiencies.

If this is something you wish to do, speak to your spouse about how you want to change psychologically, not only for your own benefit, but for his. Recommend how this process will strengthen and improve your relationship together, because love is nourished through the death of desire.

One partner can do this alone. It is hard, but it is better than being a victim of our own faults. If both partners are practicing Gnosis, then you have a wonderful opportunity to clearly articulate the root of your problems and to rectify them through meditation and alchemy.

It is well known even amongst laymen that no communication contributes to divorce. Couples who do not talk about what concerns them end up repressing, bottling up, and suffocating their emotions, until when the right moment comes, they explode.

It is better to have some smaller skirmishes here and there than to end it all with WWIII. For that, you have to get comfortable with frequent, uncomfortable situations and conversations. You have to embrace conflict, not with the desire of defeating your partner and proving him wrong, but by elevating and edifying what is most noble in him.

You prevent disaster by speaking honestly about your own sufferings, concerns, and views immediately, so that your partner can listen to you. Then, absolutely, do the same for him, because while you might feel justified in your pain, there might be things you are doing that are harming him.

Samael Aun Weor often spoke about the need to never go to bed angry. This is because resentment is a weed that poisons the garden of marriage. You nullify anger by talking about your issues, and even meditating before and after the event, so that you comprehend what exactly is going on.

By relying on each other to clearly identify both your egos, you have an expedient means to end suffering and secure the happiness of your marriage, since if you both die to your egos, you both can become a perfect matrimony.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

Almustafa selected the reply #27768 as the answer for this post — 3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago
·
#27800
Good communication is essential in every relationship. It is ok to tell your partner how you feel. If you are very upset or angry in the moment, then you may need to walk away, meditate, and come back to communicate your feelings when you are calmer. Tell the truth, but hold compassion in your heart when you speak.

The only way our partner can learn to treat us better is if we communicate the effects of his actions/words (and vice versa). Each painful moment in a relationship is an opportunity for us to meditate on what ego within us is suffering, and it may also be an opportunity for our partner to recognize the effects of his actions. We are all imperfect, and our relationships allow both of us to improve ourselves.

Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.

Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"

Thank you for the answer.
However, how would we know that our spouse is not a narcissist?

I have read that narcissist can have great karmic debt, which means that they are a lost soul.
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